Fairy Dust

*Mikey's POV*

So tired. So heavy. I feel paralyzed, glued to the sanitary sheets. My heavy eyelids opened to the plain white wall in front of my bed. I was in the hospital. A bond was wrapped tightly around my throat to pressure the wound as to not loose anymore blood. I heard the familiar happy beat of the heart monitor and the voices of the nurses in the corridor. It all felt calming to my broken body. I stretched until my feet came to the end of the bed and my hands touched the walls. I felt fine besides the gash that threatened to re-open to spill more blood. I looked around, the drapes were open to reveal the chaos from earlier. How long had I been out? The sun was high in the sky but the smoke from buildings still drifted through the air. I must have just arrived not too long ago. Honestly I couldn't care where my brother was, wether he was dead or alive or gone for good. I know I shouldn't think that way and deep down I love him but right now I wanted space from my killer. Frank on the other hand was sweet. I loved him so much and I could trust him with anything. I don't know anymore who to trust besides him. Ray for sure no, Bob I don't know... Danger.... don't remind me. My life is a mess but so is everyone else's.

Thinking about these things and having a mental conversation with my self made me feel worse. Fuck this. Fuck life. What do we all have to live for but fancy food, fancy clothes and fancy cars? Hot girls or guys and maybe a few fucks once in a while? Is that all? Employee of the month, promotion, new car? Big woop.

"Fuck..." I said under my breath. We were all a waste of oxygen, a waste of a soul. None of us are perfect and everyone knows that. We are born, we go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, die. Its a recycled cycle over and over again but I noticed the school part takes up a lot of useless time that we can be playing video games or fucking your boyfriend or maybe in your case, girlfriend. I don't think I can take much more. This war was a huge break from this stupid cycle but I believe it's coming to a close, throwing us all back into executive lifestyles. Tears brimmed my eyes, the more I thought about it the more I wanted to end my misery. With a shaky hand I unfolded the bandage from my neck. My wound re-opened to spill blood again. I began to feel light headed as my life flashed before my eyes. I saw the good and the bad but it was all in the cycle. No one would really miss me; not mom, not Gerard, maybe Frank. Things began to blur. Frank looked away when I said I only loved him as a brother. Frank wanted to fuck me and forget about Gerard back at the base. Frank loved me maybe more then a brother. It was too late to realize my mistake. I was commiting suiside and I had forget about Frank!

"Shit..." I whispered as the heart rate monitor sounded fainter and slower. I was dying...