Waiting on a Diamond and a Tether

Ali’s point of view

“So remind me why they put us in charge of the alcohol buying?” I asked as I followed John down the street. He seemed to know where he was going, I on the other hand, had no idea. I had no sense of orientation no matter where I was.

“Because they think I look older than I am so I never get carded,” he grinned as we turned the corner. I felt like I had to run to keep up with him; his steps were so much bigger than mine.

“Wait for me,” I wailed, trying to catch up.

“Come on Ali, we have to be back at the bus in half an hour! You’re going to have to run,” he teased as he slowed down a little for me. I ran up to him and sneaked my arm under his. He looked down and smiled back at me.

I didn’t know what we were doing. If we were together or not. It felt like we were, but at the same time, I still had that voice in the back of my head telling me that I was lying to him and it was getting harder and harder to silence it.

We walked into Sam’s Liquor Store minutes later and it seemed like John knew exactly where he was going. I, on the other hand, was mesmerized at how many bottles were in this place.

“Ali, grab a cart and come here please,” he asked as he walked to the back of the store. I grabbed a cart and followed him.

“What are we getting?” I asked as he threw two cases of beer into the cart.

“Beer, first and foremost,” he laughed. “I’m only going to get two since we already have some in the bus.”

“How many people are coming exactly?” I questioned. To me, what was already in the basket seemed like plenty, but then again, I wasn’t a huge drinker.

“Everyone we know on tour, really. We’re going to park all the buses in the parking lot of the venue and party it up,” he said, cracking a lame dance move to make me laugh.

“So what do you think, Skyy or Smirnoff?” He asked, holding both bottles up to my face.

“Definitely Smirnoff,” I replied. Vodka was the one drink I really loved; mainly because it mixed so well with cranberry juice.

“My thought’s exactly,” he said, flashing me a smile. We grabbed a couple of other bottles before proceeding to the check-out. We had enough alcohol to last a decade. But of course, when I said that to John, he just laughed and said it would be gone before I even had time to blink. I just shrugged my shoulders and followed him back to the bus.

By the time we arrived, the party had already began. The buses were all parked in a circle and a small fire in the center was keeping everyone warm. People were just standing around, talking or dancing, but when they saw us arrive, they practically rolled out the red carpet in excitement, not so much for us, but for what we were carrying.

“Finally!” Jared let out as he helped us put everything on the table. John put the beers in the cooler and soon enough, we were trampled out of the way as everyone poured various drinks into their red cups. I managed to grab one and when everyone cleared out, I put equal parts cranberry juice and vodka into my cup and walked away.

I couldn’t find anyone at first and I didn’t really know anyone outside the band due to my poor social skills, but I quickly spotted Anny by the bus. I was about to go up to her, but I realized she was with Garrett and what those two had going on was really none of my business, at least not yet.

“Hey Pat,” I said as he came over to where I was standing. The look on his face was of pure discomfort; he didn’t want to be here and I sort of felt bad that he had to stay for the sake of everyone else.

“Hey,” he whined as he leaned against a bus next to me.

“You know, if you run into the bus really fast, I won’t tell anyone that you’re not here...” I trailed off, hoping he would catch my drift.

“You’d do that? Really? Thank you!” He replied, left his drink on the table and very discreetly ran into the bus. I shook my head and laughed to myself, but then, there I was alone again and the lonelier I got, the faster I was drinking what was in my red cup and the more often I refilled it.

John wasn’t anywhere to be found which surprised me. I wasn’t expecting him to spend the whole night with me, but I was expecting some sort of contact with him at some point and by the looks of it, it wasn’t going to happen.

“What’s up Ali?” Kennedy asked as he grabbed himself a beer out of the cooler. I snapped out of my daze immediately and sighed.

“Not much, bored,” I replied, taking a sip of my drink.

“How could you be bored at a party? Get out of your comfort zone Ali! Go talk to someone, engage in a conversation, hook up, do something!” He slurred at me.

“I don’t hook up with guys I don’t know, Kenny,” I replied, irritated.

“I am living proof of that,” he said, proudly.

“Why are you being such an asshole?”

“I’m just kidding Ali, relax,” he mocked. “Look, I’m going to go, see you later-”

“Wait,” I shot back, just as he starting walking off. “Did you see John anywhere?”

“Last I saw, he was talking to a girl behind the buses... Sorry Ali,” he added and walked off.

I wanted to punch something. All along, I thought he still cared for me, at least enough not to be hooking up with some girl at a bus party in front of my face. I thought he was bigger than that, but I guess not. I was determined not to let this ruin my night though because after all, we weren’t together. I needed to keep reminding myself that constantly. I pushed that jealousy monster to the back of my mind, doubled up on the alcohol and stepped way out of my comfort zone, just like Kennedy suggested.

I started talking with this group of guys that I was told were from Florida. They seemed nice enough and the more I drank, the nicer they got. One of them was Ben, he was the best looking one. He was tall, had long-ish brown hair, green eyes and great bone structure.

After a couple of hours, the rest of his friends had gone to talk to other people, leaving us alone. We’d danced, kissed and held hands by then, something I would have never done if I was even remotely sober which obviously wasn’t the case. I’d lost complete control of myself and somehow, I sort of liked it. I liked having that much to loose.

“So, is there a boyfriend I should be scared of right now?” He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Nope, no boyfriend. I’m a single girl. Single and ready to mingle. As single as I can be. No emotional attachment whatsoever to anyone,” I rambled on. I was the type of drunken mess that could talk for hours on end and say absolutely nothing relevant.

“Perfect,” he smirked. “So, what would you say if I suggested we take this conversation inside?”

“Inside where?”

“In your bus-”

“No, no, no! We can’t go in there! Pat’s sleeping,” I shouted. “He gets crabby if we talk loud when he sleeps.”

“What if we go in my bus?” He asked, already pulling me up to my feet. I doubted I could walk. The whole world was spinning around me.

“Alright, I could use a nap too,” I laughed. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I threw my arm over his shoulder. We started walking towards his bus which seemed further than ever in my perspective. Just then, I caught a glimpse of John making a bee line to where I was.

I didn’t want to deal with him right now, but at the same time, a part of my though that I was just doing this to get his attention.

“Where do you think you’re going with her?” John asked as Ben came to a stop in front of his bus door. I propped my head up at the sound of his voice.

“Dude, there are plenty of other girls at this party, get your own,” Ben replied as he tried to open the door, but John slammed it shut.

“Um, yeah, ‘dude’, she’s my girlfriend-”

“Ex-girlfriend,” I corrected, pointing my finger up in the air as I laid my head back on Ben’s shoulder.

“Ali, come on, you don’t really want to go in there with him do you?” John pleaded.

“I just want to go home,” I whined over the music.

“Alright, come on, I’ll carry you,” he said as he took Ben’s arms off me and helped me walk off. I buried my head in the crook of his neck as he helped me walk back to the bus.

“Wait, we can’t go in there,” I said, just as we came to the door.

“Why not?” He asked, confused.

“Because Pat is sleeping in there, but don’t tell him I told you. Okay? Promise?”

“Alright,” he smirked. “Let’s just stay out here for a while then. Hopefully the fresh air will sober you up a little.” He sat me down next to him behind the bus and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“Why did you do this Ali? You’re going to be sick now,” he scolded as if he was my parent.

“As if you’re one to judge mister oh-I-was-drinking-my-problems-away-until-a-week-ago,” I mocked, closing my eyes. He laughed and titled his head on top of mine.

“Who was that girl you were talking to before?” I shyly asked.

“Who told you about that?”

“Kennedy, but that’s beside the point. Answer me,” I whined.

“That’s Steph. She used to be our merch girl before you came along and she just stopped by to say hi,” he responded and in a minute, I went from feeling self-righteous to down right stupid.

“Is she your girlfriend?” I asked, curiosity taking over me.

“No Ali, she’s not. Is this why you drank yourself to this point?” He laughed.

“No... I was thirsty,” I laughed, but I was the only one that seemed to find it funny. “I’m so stupid...”

“No you’re not, like you said, who am I to judge, right?” He replied. We stopped talking after that. I closed my eyes and tried to start sleeping off the massive hangover that was waiting for me in the morning. And he just stayed there, waiting for me.

“Alright Ali, I think we should go in the bus now...” He trailed off as he helped me up. The party had died down by now. Our bus was the only one left in the parking lot. I rubbed my eyes and he helped me to my feet.

“Wait,” I said. “Why... Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because, you’re my friend, Ali. That’s what friends do,” he said, pain swept over his face. I realized then that he’d been avoiding the subject as much as I had, but we couldn’t run from it anymore.

“And that’s it, just friends? That’s all you think we are right now?” I sighed. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the situation, but I just wanted to curl up and cry.

“I don’t know what we are or what we’re doing, but I’m not ready to risk this to move onto something that might not work-”

“Why wouldn’t it work? It used to work at some point, remember?” I said, finding the strength to break away from his hold so we were standing face to face.

“I don’t want to talk about this now. Let’s just get on the bus and go to sleep,” he said, walking off.

“No John, you’re going to stop running and you’re going to come talk to me because all this is starting to give me a serious mind-fuck,” I shouted and before I knew what hit me, he pressed me against the bus and crashed his lips to mine. I wasn’t to drunk to realize how much I wanted this right now. I’d never been happier. He pulled away eventually and looked down to his feet. I smiled and pulled him in to meet my lips again.

“So...” He trailed off.

“Yeah...”

“I’m not sure that counts,” he laughed as I latched myself around his neck. He took me in his arms and we started walking to the bus door.

“Why not?” I whined, nearly falling asleep.

“Because you’re drunk Ali, it doesn’t count,” he joked.

“It counts if I want it to count,” I replied as we walked up the steps. Bob was sleeping in the driver’s seat, but he immediately sat up when he heard us walk in.

“Need help John?” He asked, standing to see that I got in okay.

“I’ve got this Bob, thanks,” John smiled as he walked me to my room. Ally and Anny were both passed out on the sofa and the rest of the boys must’ve been sleeping also, seeing as the bus was so quiet. He laid me down on the bed, yet my arms stayed intertwined around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.

“Alright, you have to sleep now,” he said as he pulled away, giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

“No, stay with me. Sleep with me,” I whined, latching onto his arm.

“I can’t Ali-”

“Why not?”

“I’m not going to sleep with you, you’re drunk. We’ll both regret it in the morning,” he laughed, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“I didn’t mean it like that, you pig,” I laughed, closing my eyes. “I meant, just, sleep next to me. Please? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

And just like that, he caved. He took off his shoes, put his pajama pants on and laid down next to me. I turned into his chest and within minutes I was asleep.

I was home.