The First Kiss

Another shiver.

The goosebumps rose on Lauren’s arms as she sat at the end of the hotel bed. She couldn’t sleep, as the thought that her beloved was only next door was giving her nightmares. She may never see her again.

Yes. Her.

She sauntered into the hall, making sure to take the key with her so she wouldn’t be locked out until morning. Sliding down the door, Lauren buried her head in her hands and begged herself not to cry. Though she knew that even if the tears pricked her eyes and welled up, she wouldn’t be able to set them free. She wasn’t that emotional.

The sound of a turning handle made her ears prick up. Her eyes darted to the next room: her room. She was expecting an adult figure, a parent maybe, to walk out and start the journey downstairs in search of more coffee.

Instead, there came a quivering silhouette in pajama shorts and a tee-shirt, shuffling along the vomit inducing shag carpet in furry slippers. Lauren backed into her doorway, praying not to lay eyes on the shaking beauty so as not to fall in love again.

The younger girl looked round, her eyes searching for whatever had made the shuffling noise. Her beautiful eyes fell on the one person whose heart beat in time with hers.

“Lozzie…?”

Lauren’s dark eyes - or more eye, as her freshly straightened hair fell over the right eye - were visible in the shadows as Katie looked down at her.

“God… what I wouldn’t give…”

“To do what?”

The words fell over Lauren’s bottom lip without any form of restraint or control or even thought put into them. Though she knew she had that spark in her eye, that look on her face. Pure seriousness; it was something she wasn’t familiar to but could resort to if the time called it.

“To run your fingers through my hair? To hold my body close to yours? To tell me just how you feel? To have my hand in yours? To kiss me just once…?”

With that, Lauren stood up and began sauntering away, her hands tucked just inside her pajama bottoms as if there were pockets.

They hadn’t even spent their long weekend together, like they’d promised. Parents had dragged them off in separate directions, and they’d been ruthlessly locked in during the night and forced to sleep. Tomorrow was Bank Holiday Monday, they’d be leaving. Going separate ways and going back to a distant, internet/phone relationship.

It strained their teenage hearts so much. So much it almost hurt to think they’d have to return to that without getting their one chance to have the moment they’d always longed for. To finally be able to feel hands, skin, waists, lips.

Katie didn’t know what to do. She wanted to chase after the older girl, who teetered on the line between fourteen and fifteen whilst she advanced towards the fourteen mark. But there was a tiny part of her that wanted to stay and forget they’d ever met in the hallway, just put it behind her.

As much as she was madly in love with Lauren, Katie just didn’t know…

But suddenly, Lauren stopped. Time seemed to slow down, almost to a stop as a single tear sent eyeliner and mascara cascading down the flushed and slightly pock-marked cheek of hers. A slight sob escaped her lips as her fingers closed around the pendant around her throat.

It wasn’t a gift from Katie. In fact, it had nothing to do with Katie. It was a Valentine’s gift from an ex-boyfriend, that she wore religiously. Not because she still loved this boy, but because it helped her believe that anyone can fall in love, anyone can find someone. It reminded her that it was okay to love Katie, no matter how much it hurt.

As the slow motion continued, Lauren turned and looked at Katie. The black line traveling down her face showed Katie the emotion behind Lauren’s tough exterior. She knew Lauren had a soft caring side, a side that came out often in their many conversations, but never once did she ever expect to see her cry.

Just one hug…

It was a step. A single step towards each other and that was it. They started running, like wind through leaves on a tree, like water in an estuary. Into each others arms.

How amazing it felt to finally hold one another, in their own arms. This wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t a figment of their overly-exaggerated imaginations. It was real. It was almost too much, as the tears began rolling down their soft features, creating warm little circles on their clothes.

A shiver.

It ran over their skin as the breeze from the open window swept through them. Lauren pulled Katie closer, attempting to keep her small, trembling body warm as possible. Katie looked up, feeling warmer than before. She saw Lauren shivering slightly.

“I’ve told you this so many times, but I don’t know if they ever meant as much as this time does…” Katie whispered, brushing the hair off Laurens pale face.

Lauren looked up slightly, though not too much as she was a good half a foot taller than Katie. She looked deep into those sea blue eyes, taking in every emotion she could see there. They were like crystals, like pools. They shined in the light that bore down on them, illuminating their exposed skin in the eeriest ways.

Taking her wrist in her own hand, Lauren moved closer to Katie, so their foreheads were almost touching.

“Just say it,” she whispered.

It sent shivers up Katie’s spine in a way that excited and entranced her. She felt like she would melt if Lauren came any closer. Their bodies were pressed close and Lauren began twist their fingers together, tangling them and entwining them in both hands.

“I… I…”

The words escaped her. She was too caught up in the two amazing orbs before her. The way they caught the light was hypnotizing, illuminating the blue beautifully, which made the green tint and the black pupil seem even more beautiful.

“Say it.”

Lauren’s voice was, if possible, almost less than a whisper now. It was so quiet that Katie had to strain her ears just to hear.

“I… love… you.”

She said it. With her own voice, her own mouth, her own tongue. She said it. Lauren smiled a somewhat relieved smile. She’s been waiting to hear those words for so long that all the pain and all the waiting seemed worth it.

“I love you too,” she smiled, brushing the hair off the younger girls face.

The cheeks beneath Lauren’s fingers turned slightly pink as Katie felt her face grow warm. She knew she was blushing but she just couldn’t help it. All those things Lauren had said to her in the past, words she’s only ever got to read and never hear, seemed more true than the fact that two plus two equals four.

It all added up.

Standing on tip-toe, Katie slowly pressed her lips to Laurens. Just briefly and chastely. But it was the most beautiful kiss they’d ever had.

As Katie pulled away, Lauren opened her eyes. She didn’t smile, she didn’t cry. She just stayed, blank and emotionless. It was better than she’d ever expected. She’d never kissed a girl before, not really. She’d been kissed by one before, but it’d never been like that.

Laurens hand found the back of Katie’s neck, leaning her head back slightly. Their lips crashed together in the most beautiful event of their lives so far. It seemed surreal, it seemed unreal, it seemed too real. Lips meshing together in utter bliss.

Until the sound of a door handle being used caused them to spring apart.

“Katie? Why aren’t you in bed? We have to be up early so as not to hit traffic. Come inside,” Katie’s father said sleepily, his eyes half closed to lessen the light.

Katie almost hung her head in disappointment. She hadn’t wanted it to end. She’d been in a dream world with the one whose hand fit hers perfectly. Who just so happened to be a girl, like her.

As Katie’s simple but beautiful frame disappeared into the hotel room, Lauren sank to the floor and licked her lips. They still tasted like her. They’d always taste like her. No one had that taste, that smell.

They got their hug. They even got their kiss.

Another shiver.

Goosebumps rose on Laurens arms as she unlocked the door to her hotel room and slunk inside, still licking the lips that had finally touched those of her beloved. Still feeling the arms that had been around the one she loved.

That just so happened to be a girl, like her.