Beyond This Illusion

I sat in my room anxiously. The end of summer was near, and the mail had still come up empty. My teachers were supposed to send me a packet of brochures, telling me which five high schools they had recommended for me. I would then pick the one I thought fit me best. But I had two weeks left until the end of summer, and I still had no idea where I was going to school.

My phone rang loudly in the silence of the silence of my room, scaring me shitless. It was my best friend Amanda. I could tell by the shrill Lady Gaga ring tone she had chosen for herself.

"Hey Mandy what's up?" I told her, trying to keep my bad mood out of my voice.

"I got my school stuff in the mail today!" she shrieked into the phone. I pulled the phone away from my ear, letting her get it all out of her system. Then, taking a silent deep breath, and making sure to keep my voice cool I said,

"Awesome!" Even I could hear the fake tone of my voice. But Mandy, luckily, was completely unaware.

"Hey did you see that cute top I bough the other day? I think it went really well with..." I tuned her out, giving her the occasional "mmhmm" and "uh-huh". I loved Mandy to death, but when it came to other people she was about as attentive as a puffer fish.

***

I sat in my room absentmindedly plucking out cords on my old acoustic guitar when the doorbell rang.

"Mom you got it?" I hollered downstairs.

"Yes!" came her reply.

I went back to my guitar, figuring it was a telemarketer, or a Jehovah's Witness. I was altogether surprised when my mom yelled,

"Honey, it's Charlotte!"

"Okay, tell her I'm in my room!" I yelled back. Charlotte was my totally bad-ass, but slightly erratic friend from school. She came into my room and I knew instantly that there was something wrong. Charlotte was a dedicated writer, and not to mention a great one. She was also ambidextrous. But Charlotte had this habit of writing all over both arms when she was upset. In the winter, she usually wore long sleeves, but since it was summer, she drew some weird looks.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. For a minute, she didn't say anything, just twirling a pen in her fingers. I knew it could only mean one thing.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked her, keeping my face as serious as I could. She turned toward me giving me a sarcastic "haha" face. I smiled.

"No, but really what's wrong?" I asked her, serious this time.

"I still haven't gotten my brochures in the mail. What if I failed last year?"

"Please, your parents would never let you fail." Charlotte's parents, well Charlotte's Dad, were usually really cool, unless it came to school.

"Yeah, I guess." She said, but she didn't look convinced.

We talked for a while, about everything and anything. we alternated between telling each other random stories, playing short games of truth, and pretty much laughing our asses off. We told corny jokes, listened to music, and just generally chatted until it was about eleven.
Then we set up our stuff in front of an old T.V., broke out the gummy worms and jelly beans, and settled down to watch our favorite 80's movie, Footloose.

***

I must have fallen asleep before Charlotte because when I woke up the next morning the T.V. was off and the candy bags were gone. I got up and shoved Charlotte's shoulder, trying to get her to wake up too. Instead she grumbled and inaudible set of words and then rolled over so that her back was facing away from me. I tried to shove her again but she wouldn't budge.

"Char, wake up it's noon." I said. No response.

"Honey, I made you guys pancakes!" my mom called from downstairs.

"Pancakes?!" I yelled. I abandoned Charlotte altogether and ran down the stairs to a delicious smelling kitchen.

I was about halfway through my plate of pancakes when Charlotte dragged herself downstairs. Her brown hair was a big mess on top of her head, her make up was all smeared, and she generally didn't look like she wanted to be awake.

"Morning, sunshine!" I said cheerfully, sliding her a plate of pancakes. She gave me a look that pretty much said she would have flipped me off had my mom not been in the room. Of course I did the mature thing, and stuck my tongue out at her.

My dad came in from his morning jog, carrying what looked like a hefty stack of mail. But I guess, these days, every stack of mail looked hefty. He kissed my mom on the cheek, and set the mail on the kitchen island. I dug in immediately.

Right away I took out two manila envelopes near the middle of the stack. The first one had my name on it. Lia carter, it said in big bold letters. My heart practically exploded as I saw the return address was from my old junior high. Then, I remembered the second envelope. I looked at that one and was surprised to find that the envelope belonged to Charlotte. I handed it to her, figuring that her parents had dropped it off that morning or something.

"Come on, let's go up to my room," I told her. We dashed up the stairs, and were breathless by the time we got up to my room. We sat on my bed and I started shredding my envelope completely, taking care not to rip the papers inside. Charlotte was more careful, sliding the papers out through the top of the envelope like you're supposed to. Overachiever.

I took the brochure on top of the pile and looked it over carefully. there was a picture of the school on the front. The school looked really clean and definitely new, with beige colored buildings and burgundy roofs. I tried not to judge, but the headings and the pictures got the best of me right away. Every picture was a kid with their nose buried in a book. By the pictures, there were headings like "school uniforms" and "strict hands off policy". I tossed the brochure aside into my No Thanks pile.

To my disappointment, the next two brochures were exactly the same. Each one only emphasized good grades, and general education, with nothing else. Luckily, the fourth brochure was different. The school on the front looked well worn and had a cozy feel to it. The off-white walls and dark green roofs were fading, but I still liked the colors. The brochure showed a bunch of different electives, including auto shop which I thought was really cool. I put this one next to my leg in my Definitely Considering pile.

I picked up the fifth and final brochure. Time seemed to slow to a stop as I looked at the picture of the lady on the front. I new her face like the back of my hand. I had been drawing her since I could pick up a pencil. I heard Charlotte exhale beside me and found her staring at the brochure I was.

"That's her. That's the girl I'm always writing about." she whispered. I nodded, silently agreeing with her.

"Dude, we have to go to," she paused looking at the front of the brochure, "Lumina High."