I Wanna Live a Life From a New Perspective

(Brendon)

Lately ever since Ryan and I got into a fight, Jess has been acting very strange and distant. Not even the regular kind of weird but the weird where she freaks out if I raise my hand higher than my head. She must be physically afraid of me now. Aw shit.

But besides that, the tour has been going great. I’m pretty sure we’re going to get the European tour.

Today I am determined to get Jess to tell me what’s wrong, whether or not she wants to.
I had no idea how I was going to get Jess to tell what was wrong, but I had a strange idea that Ryan knew was up or Jess what going to tell him. It really pissed me off that she trusted him more than me, I mean I’m the one who let her come with us anyway. But that’s just the jealously in me talking.

Jealously has taken over many of my relationships. It even hurt my relationship with my siblings. I was so desperate to be the center of everyone’s attention; I would do anything to keep it that way. I guess that’s what I get for being the middle child of five kids.

But I’m determined to not let it ruin this relationship, even though it’s only a friendship, I obviously want it to be more. And I’m not going to let Ryan or any or guy talking to her get to me, for now at least.

I have to stop obsessing over my imaginary relationship with Jess and get out of bed.

I stumbled out to the front longue, grabbed cereal, and sat down on one of the couches. The guys, with the exception of Ryan who was on bed rest, were out there. They looked at me like I had six billion heads.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? Yesterday was kind of scary of us. Not only did we almost lose Ryan but we also saw a side you we didn’t know existed and we kind of didn’t like it.” Jon said in quick snappy voice.

“I was scared too. You know me guys. You know I don’t do stuff like that. I’m sure if it wasn’t little Ryan, I probably wouldn’t have been able to do that. And I know that it’s not funny. But Ryan forgave me; he knows how I get with the ladies. Jess is special to me. You guys don’t have to be mean to me. Jess being terrified of me and seeing Ryan’s head wrapped in bandages should be punishment enough.”

Jon and Spencer sighed and looked at each. Zack looked at me and smiled. I’d like to think he understands what love is more than the rest of us, he is married and stuff.

With a sigh myself I got up and walked to back longue to check on Ryan and see if Jess will finally talk with me about what’s scaring her. I walked to back and approached the door and gave it a knock for good measure.

“Come in” Called Ryan’s voice

I came in and my heart sank. Ryan was sitting on the couch, with Jess asleep in his lap. She had a blanket thrown over her and was sitting there watching some movie with the lights off.

“What the fuck dude? I thought we talked about this. What is she doing sleeping on your lap?”

“Brendon, first calm down, you don’t want to wake her up.” I took a deep breath, though my hands were still on my hips like a pissed off pregnant woman. “Jess came in here to sleep with me because she said she couldn’t sleep out there in her bunk because she didn’t feel safe.”

“Why wouldn’t she feel safe?” I said sitting down across from Ryan.

He just simply raised his eyebrows and pointed towards his head.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t like a hit her or another girl and we’re guys; guys fight and get over it and pretend like nothing happened.”

“Yeah, I know, but Jess is different.”

“I know she’s different, that’s why I like her so much.”

“No, she’s been through a lot. It’s not my place to tell you anything, I’m sure she’ll tell you everything in time.”

“Whatever” I knew I was getting mad at Ryan for no reason, but I couldn’t help, Jess liked him better for some reason. “When she wakes up, try and convince her to come talk to me.”

“Will do” he said as I slid out of the room.

I merely climbed back into the bunk, we were still driving to the next location and seeing as Jess was sleeping, there was no point in really being awake. I drifted back to sleep.

Next thing I knew I was awaken to someone gently poking my side.
I looked up to see Jess smiling down at me.

“Hey” she whispered

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Um, I think we need to talk. And plus we’re wherever we’re supposed to be and there’s some out there basically raping Spencer out there.”

“Oh, ok, well since we’re here. You want to go on a walk for that talk? We’re supposed to be in somewhere where there’s nice weather.”

“Ok, but can you please explain the girl on top of Spencer.” She said with a smirk as I climbed out of my bunk while pulling a hoodie on.

“Oh, that’s Spencer’s girlfriend Kayt. I’m pretty sure she’s going to stay with us for the next couple of dates until we get back up to New York.” I said pulling shoes on.

We walked through the front longue, gave Jon, Zack, Ryan, Spencer, and Kayt the nod and told them we were going for a walk.
----

As Brendon and Jess left the bus, the remaining members of the bands were left there sitting, along with Zack and Kayt.

“So is she Brendon’s girlfriend?”

They all laughed, Kayt looked confused.

Spencer turned to his girlfriend with a smirk and simply said “Not yet, but we all predict by the time they get back, that might change.”