Confessions of a Hollywood Celebrity

Previously...

It was true. I did look over the financial records, and I have been doing quite awesome lately. In my view, spending large amounts of money can be such a waste if you don't know what you're doing or if you have impulse buys (which is something I do my best to stay away from).

***************

They used to call me “Lightening”
I was always quick to strike
Had everything I own
In the saddles on my back

I had a reputation
For never stayin’ very long,
just like a wild and restless drifter,
like a cowboy in a song

I met a dark haired beauty
where they laid the whiskey down
in Southern Arizona
in a little border town

She had to dance for money
in that dusty old saloon
I dropped a dollar in the jukebox
Played that girl a tune, yea

Never see it comin’
It just hits you by surprise
It’s that cold place in your soul
and that fire in her eyes

That makes you come together
Like wild horses when they run
Now the cards are on my table
And the bullets in the gun
Yeah

She was sittin’ on my lap
We still had shots to kill
When a man pulled up who owned the bar
In a Cadillac Deville

Grabbed her by her raven hair
And threw her in the floor
Said “No free rides for the cowboys
That ain’t what I pay you for, no”

She jumped up and grabbed my pistol,
Stuck it in the fat man’s back
Said “Open up the safe
And put your money in the sack”

Tied his hands behind him
and put a blindfold on his eyes
“If you’re dumb enough to chase us, man,
You’re dumb enough to die”

Never see it comin’
It just hits you by surprise
It’s that cold place in your soul
and that fire in her eyes

That makes you come together
Like wild horses when they run
Now the cards are on my table
And the bullets in the gun
~Toby Keith, Bullets In The Gun

At 12:00 PM, after talking some more with Macaulay about money and financial records, I then checked my schedule, and then told him I had to meet Naomi Campbell for lunch. He didn't argue, saying he had to go as well. He was meeting with his friend, the King of Pop Michael Jackson, so they could discuss a business strategy.

"Be sure to tell me everything later, please," I told him with a final hug before we parted, and he promised he would.

With that, I then pulled out my cell phone and called Naomi.



"Hello?"

"Hey there, Naomi," I said. "It's me."

"Hey there, Jade!" Naomi replied, a tone of happiness in her voice. "What's up?"

I replied, "Oh, basically the usual. You know, paparazzi, and getting articles written about me in newspapers, magazines and other media outlets. What about you, Naomi? Anything new?"

"Oh," she replied, "same as usual, just like you."

"Looks like we have something in common, Naomi," I remarked. "But that's the price of being a celeb."

"I agree, Jade. You certainly have a point there," she remarked.

"And as a matter of fact, I have something I want to tell you," I then said.

"What is it, Jade?" she asked. I could sense the curiosity in her voice.

"Well, what I'm planning to do involves saving my money," I explained. "What I will do is put myself on a budget."

"That's a great idea, Jade," said Naomi with a tone of pride. "I think that will definitely help. Plus, Macaulay tells me you've been doing awesome with all the cash you have from selling jewelry to me and my fellow celebs, too. You're dividing your money into fourths, giving some to charity, and putting some in your cash box, your Zillionz ATM and your jar. And that's very awesome. Good for you."

"Thanks. Well, got to go. We are meeting at Izzy's Deli for lunch, right?"

"Oh, yes, most definitely. Talk to you later, Jade. 'Bye."

" 'Bye." After I turned my cell phone off, I then got in the limo and called to John,
"John, let's go to Izzy's Deli, please."

John nodded, and off we headed to Izzy's Deli. It's a great restaurant, and they have great food, too. As soon as I got there, I looked at the watch I had gotten as a "just because" gift from Oprah Winfrey - another great friend of mine who is not only a great talk show host, but is also very sweet and shares what she has - and grinned, noticing that I was only a few minutes early. In my view, that's a personal record - and a darn good one, too.

I remembered Oprah telling me this one day when we had a personal chat together:

"I don't understand these people who have the guilt-over-the-money syndrome," she once declared. "I was a deprived Negro child who suddenly ended up being wealthy, and I am happy about it."

************************

"Jade, darling!" Naomi called as I stepped over the threshold and then headed over to the table where she was sitting.

"Hey there, Naomi," I grinned. We exchanged hugs and "I missed you" 's, like old friends do. Over lunch (chicken strips and french fries for me and a salad with low-fat dressing for Naomi), Naomi and I discussed in whispers what we would do if we heard about a recession going on with the economy (which I knew was a possibility).

"For my part," said Naomi, "I would make sure to put half of my paycheck into my savings account and some of it into my checking account before putting what's left over into my wallet or purse."

"I would do the same thing as well, Naomi," I replied, smiling. She smiled also.

"So tell me," she asked, "how's your jewelry-selling business coming along? I hope you're doing great."

"I am," I replied, nodding, and began to fill her in on most of the details. She listened very closely. Then, when I was finished and reached for my soda to take a sip so I could quench my thirst, Naomi remarked,
"Sounds like you're doing awesome, Jade. And I am proud of you for that as well."

She then gave me a smile, which I returned.

"Thank you, Naomi. Encouragement from someone, especially a fellow celebrity and friend like you, means a lot to me. And we celebs do have to stick together - which is usually because of the paparazzi sometimes."

She nodded in agreement with me there. "I agree with you there, kiddo. I agree."

When we left the restaurant an hour later, the paparazzi were suddenly swarming all around us in a bee-like fashion. The cameras were clicking and flashbulbs were popping while the paparazzi were shooting off questions like "Jade, how about a smile?" and "Naomi, what's it like being friends with a billionaire child star?", which we ignored for each other's sanity as well as our own. It was getting to the point where, thanks to the flashbulbs, it was hard for me to see the path in front of me.

Luckily, Naomi was there for me like the good friend she is.

As she held my hand in a gentle grip so we wouldn't get separated, she hissed things like "You guys, I need you to step back please!" and "Shoo, shoo, all of you" at the photographers as we headed to her limousine. It was when we got inside and Naomi said "Drive" to the guy behind the wheel that she and I were finally able to relax.

"Are you all right, Jade?" she asked as she turned to me, her protective mother bear self, which she usually saved for the paparazzi, falling away and being replaced by the concerned friend persona (which was usually for me).

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so. Thanks for staying with me the whole time, Naomi. I needed that."

She smiled. "You're welcome, Jade. After all, we celebs must stick together, like a pack of wolves when one of their own is in danger."

I nodded at that one. Apparently, that was true, since I was kind of like a wolf cub, and Naomi, Macaulay, Michael, Britney, Jack and the other celebs were like the mother and father wolves assuming a protective stance in front of me so that I was OK.