The Girl That Filled My Dark

I decided just to get ready, but really slowly. I still had a few hours before the show, I spent a long time straightening and styling my hair, I kept changing it to take up more time. I did my makeup really carefully. I got dressed in a good old Nirvana shirt and purple skinny jeans. When I was done, there was still a while to go before I could leave. I decided to walk; it would take longer and give me time to think. I walked out the door without and eye contact to Shay Christian or Ben.

I arrived at the venue to find a lot of kids lining up outside. A few hundred, thousand maybe. Before I called Ronnie a wiped the tears that I finally let out. I couldn’t hold them in. No one was around, and it was quite a long walk. I dialed in Ronnie number after only one ring he picked up.

“Hey babe, you here?”

“Yeah, do you want me to come to the front?”

“Yeah just wait kinda at the front. Otherwise you’ll get yelled at by crazy fans. Ill come out and get you.”

“But they’ll hate me more if you come out and get me..”

“Yes, but they wont be able to get you in here. And they won’t attack you if I’m there.”

“So if I’m ever alone they are gonna attack me?”

“No, no, just forget everything I just said. Come to the front.” He said.

“Coming, coming.” I hung up the phone and wiped under my eyes to try and get rid of the black makeup that was probably all around my eyes. Once I was satisfied it was all gone I walked past all the kids lining up and waited kinda close to the door. I avoided all eye contact, their looks at the moment were probably like ‘Omg what the fuck is she doing?’ and as soon as Ronnie get me they’ll most likely change to ‘band slut’. I was only standing there for a couple of minutes before I saw Ronnie’s head through a window in the side of the building, he tapped on it and waved with a big smile on his face. I looked up at him and waved, as soon as he saw my face his smile vanished and he came and opened the door. Everyone immediately started screaming and girls asked for autographs and photos, crowding around him. He kept trying to push through them but the crowd just kept getting bigger and bigger. “Can you just fuck off!?” He yelled. Everyone looked stunned and backed away. He took one step out of them and sighed. He looked at me and frowned; he laced our fingers together and led me across the road to a park. I could hear the soft murmuring of the fans talking about what had just happened. We pulled me over to a seat and we sat down.

“Don’t even try to pretend you weren’t crying, I know you were. What is it, babe?”

I sighed and looked up at him, “Best friends HAVE to like the boyfriend.”

“Babe, seriously I don’t care if they hate me. I love you and they can’t do anything about it.”

“Yeah, but I care if they hate you, and I don’t want them to hate us, as a package.”

“I don’t want them to hate us either, but I seriously doubt there is anything we can do to make them like it.” He looked at me concerned when I started to cry again. I get emotional about certain things.

“But you have to at least try, I mean, what if we go out all together and they just keep being dickheads to you and saying shit that isn’t true.”

“But Shay, what they’re saying is right. I did cheat on you and I don’t deserve you.”

“But they have no right to judge you; they don’t know you at all. And I’ve gotten over the whole, umm, thing. So they should too, if they were really my friends they would listen to me.” I said not wanting to talk about him cheating on me.

“No, if they were your friends, they would want to protect you, which is what they’re doing-”

“Ronnie, can we get a photo?” A girl asked with a group of about 5 other girls, they didn’t look like skanks, just some girls who wanted a photo with the singer of their favourite bands singer.

“No! Cant you just leave me alone for 5 fucking minutes!?” He yelled at them. The girls looked stunned and just walked away.

“You could have gotten a photo with them, I don’t care.” I told him.

“Yeah well, they cant just but in when we’re talking. They can wait until after the show.”