The Girl That Filled My Dark

I just looked at him, he looked terrible, I hate to think it’s because I left. I heard footsteps coming closer to us, I didn’t need to look to know who they were.

“Ronnie, dude, stop hitting on fans, we have to go. And there’s a group of kids saying that they’ve lost some of their gang.” I heard Bryan say.

“Oh fuck, I completely forgot about them. Oops.” I said. Then shut my mouth know they would be able to recognize my voice. Everyone stopped and stared at me, and then Bryan spoke.

“Shay?”

No backing out now, I thought. “Yeah,” I said softly, not making eye contact.

“Oh my fucking god! You’re here, in Jersey, wait, why are you in jersey? Were you in there? Wow, I missed you so much!” Bryan said pulling me into a long hug. All the rest of them hugged me to. “Are you gonna come and hang?”

“Umm, I can’t, I, err, have to go, back to my friends.” I walked off quickly, ignoring their yells for me to come back. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back, it was Bryan.

“You can’t just leave.”

“Yes I can, and that’s what I’m going to do. You should just let me go, and we can forget this ever happened.”

“I don’t want to pretend this never happened!”

“It’s just so much easier not having to watch over Ronnie every second to make sure he’s not doing anything stupid. And I’m happy now, my life is great. I have everything I need, I don’t need them,” referring to the whole band, “to stuff it up for me, okay?”

“I don’t think you quite understand what you’ve done to him.”

“What I’ve done to him! Do you even remember what he did to me? I told him, if he stuffed up, I’m gone, and he stuffed up. The first time I even gave him a chance to! I cried myself to sleep for months because of him. I can’t do this now, he can’t come back, and I can’t go back, ever, okay?” I walked of again, as fast as I could this time. And I didn’t turn back when he called me.

We were driving home in dead silence. Everyone was suspicious about the scene with Ronnie, but they could tell I was upset, so they didn’t say anything… yet.

We arrived home, and I went straight up to my room. The guys were staying here tonight, so Kyra was going to have to share a bed with me. That would be fine any other night but tonight. All I really needed was time to think.

I lay in my bed, I could hear them talking in the living room. It was all the same thing, ‘what’s with her and Ronnie? Do you think they know each other? Why is she so upset? Should we go talk to her?’ I heard them decide for Kyra to come see me. She opened the door and sat down on the bed next to me.

“Are you ok?” She asked, worried.

“I’m fine.”

“Well you don’t look fine. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m fine, really, I am.”

“You are a really bad liar, and I can see straight through you anyway. I know when something’s up. So don’t even try lying.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, its just, stuff from ages ago. Don’t worry about it.”

Kyra gave me an unsure look but agreed anyway. She got into the double bed with me and said goodnight. After a few minutes, she started to snore, so she must have fallen asleep. I on the other hand, stayed wake all night. This is what he does to me, one look at him, and I won’t be able to sleep for weeks, even more so if I know he’s so close to me.