Thinking Of You
1/1.
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed
When I met James, I was fascinated. He was the single most beautiful man I had ever seen. Looking back, I’m not sure what it was that grabbed my attention the most. It could’ve been his shocking blue eyes, or his gorgeous black hair. It could’ve been his tall, firmly built frame. I may never know.
His conditions were simple. I had to give up everything else. I was more than willing at that point. I had forced myself to forget what you and I had together.
Being with him gave new life to old feelings. I missed you. Things quickly began to feel wrong.
I never told him everything. I didn’t tell him I had once longed for your affection, and a large part of me still did. I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t actually gay. I was only bisexual.
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
I didn’t tell him about you, my best friend. It would kill him to learn that Iwas once am still in love with a woman. I didn’t tell him that you and I had once gotten to the point of being together, but you had to leave for school. You said we couldn’t stay together because you were scared you would hurt me. You were scared you would meet someone and things would change.
I know he truly does care. He merely cares too much. He is overbearing and protective. Somehow, I need that. I need to feel like someone loves me that much. Someone loves me so much that they want to keep me all to themselves. It is my own way of pretending that you don’t belong in my arms.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
When he kisses me, I think of you. His lips are thin and cold. Yours are full and warm.
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
When he makes love to me, I simply give in. I think of your tight walls wrapped around me. Only you could make me moan like a common whore. You knew every point and curve that would make my nerves come alive.
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes
When he is content for the night, he lies on his side and looks into my eyes. I stare into his blue pools and stop myself from frowning. I miss your honey brown eyes.
He runs his hands through my hair and whispers to me. He whispers things that I do not hear, for I am thinking of the things you once said.
You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
Everyone has their flaws, but no one can use them to their advantage like you could. You were loud and immature, but never dull. You made me smile so much it hurt. You made me laugh so much I cried. Everything about you surprised and delighted me.
I do not know how I let you go. I should’ve fought harder. Now you are gone, and no one can compare.
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test
You said that separating was better for both of us. You said we would both find our betrothed. I didn’t believe it, but I complied and began dating.
I still don’t believe it. No one can please me as you did.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth
By some cruel chance of fate, he began using the same lip balm you did. The vanilla flavor I loved to transfer from your lips to my own.
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
When he hugs me, I grimace behind his back. I know it is not right. It doesn’t even feel right. We don’t fit.
You fit perfectly in my arms. Your short frame molded to mine as though it was made to be put there. Your head rested flawlessly beneath my chin.
You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!
I know now what I have lost. You were my true love. We were never meant to be apart. I hate what I have done. If somehow, by the grace of God, I come by your smile again, I will never let it go.
I try to hold on to hope. I try to tell myself that I will have you once more, but it only hurts. It creates a burning in my chest that brings tears to my eyes. I don’t even know where you are. For all I know, you didn’t even move back to the city once you were done with school.
Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
As I sit in this chair, I look down from my open window. I watch happy people walk by. I watch couples hold hands and laugh together. I watch people act as we used to.
“Oh, shit! I’m so sorry!” A familiar voice yells from the streets. I glance in the direction it came from to see papers scattered across the sidewalk. A young woman hurries to gather them as an older man assists. Being only on the second floor, hearing their conversation is not difficult.
“Don’t worry about it. No harm done,” The old man says to her as he hands her the documents.
“Thank you so much! I just dazed out, I guess,” She laughs.
I know that laugh.
I’d know it anywhere.
“Emily?” I blurt a bit too loud. You look up and your eyes widen.
“Alex?” You grin. My heart melts.
“Wait there!” I call. I quickly run out of the apartment, silently thanking God that James isn’t home.
When I rush out of the front door, you are there waiting. Your briefcase is on the ground by your feet. You smile at me and hold your arms out expectantly.
I throw my arms around you and swing you around, holding back tears of joy. It feels so right to hold you.
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay
I will tell you how I feel. I will leave him. I will not lose you again.
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed
When I met James, I was fascinated. He was the single most beautiful man I had ever seen. Looking back, I’m not sure what it was that grabbed my attention the most. It could’ve been his shocking blue eyes, or his gorgeous black hair. It could’ve been his tall, firmly built frame. I may never know.
His conditions were simple. I had to give up everything else. I was more than willing at that point. I had forced myself to forget what you and I had together.
Being with him gave new life to old feelings. I missed you. Things quickly began to feel wrong.
I never told him everything. I didn’t tell him I had once longed for your affection, and a large part of me still did. I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t actually gay. I was only bisexual.
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
I didn’t tell him about you, my best friend. It would kill him to learn that Iwas once am still in love with a woman. I didn’t tell him that you and I had once gotten to the point of being together, but you had to leave for school. You said we couldn’t stay together because you were scared you would hurt me. You were scared you would meet someone and things would change.
I know he truly does care. He merely cares too much. He is overbearing and protective. Somehow, I need that. I need to feel like someone loves me that much. Someone loves me so much that they want to keep me all to themselves. It is my own way of pretending that you don’t belong in my arms.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
When he kisses me, I think of you. His lips are thin and cold. Yours are full and warm.
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
When he makes love to me, I simply give in. I think of your tight walls wrapped around me. Only you could make me moan like a common whore. You knew every point and curve that would make my nerves come alive.
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes
When he is content for the night, he lies on his side and looks into my eyes. I stare into his blue pools and stop myself from frowning. I miss your honey brown eyes.
He runs his hands through my hair and whispers to me. He whispers things that I do not hear, for I am thinking of the things you once said.
You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
Everyone has their flaws, but no one can use them to their advantage like you could. You were loud and immature, but never dull. You made me smile so much it hurt. You made me laugh so much I cried. Everything about you surprised and delighted me.
I do not know how I let you go. I should’ve fought harder. Now you are gone, and no one can compare.
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test
You said that separating was better for both of us. You said we would both find our betrothed. I didn’t believe it, but I complied and began dating.
I still don’t believe it. No one can please me as you did.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth
By some cruel chance of fate, he began using the same lip balm you did. The vanilla flavor I loved to transfer from your lips to my own.
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
When he hugs me, I grimace behind his back. I know it is not right. It doesn’t even feel right. We don’t fit.
You fit perfectly in my arms. Your short frame molded to mine as though it was made to be put there. Your head rested flawlessly beneath my chin.
You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!
I know now what I have lost. You were my true love. We were never meant to be apart. I hate what I have done. If somehow, by the grace of God, I come by your smile again, I will never let it go.
I try to hold on to hope. I try to tell myself that I will have you once more, but it only hurts. It creates a burning in my chest that brings tears to my eyes. I don’t even know where you are. For all I know, you didn’t even move back to the city once you were done with school.
Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
As I sit in this chair, I look down from my open window. I watch happy people walk by. I watch couples hold hands and laugh together. I watch people act as we used to.
“Oh, shit! I’m so sorry!” A familiar voice yells from the streets. I glance in the direction it came from to see papers scattered across the sidewalk. A young woman hurries to gather them as an older man assists. Being only on the second floor, hearing their conversation is not difficult.
“Don’t worry about it. No harm done,” The old man says to her as he hands her the documents.
“Thank you so much! I just dazed out, I guess,” She laughs.
I know that laugh.
I’d know it anywhere.
“Emily?” I blurt a bit too loud. You look up and your eyes widen.
“Alex?” You grin. My heart melts.
“Wait there!” I call. I quickly run out of the apartment, silently thanking God that James isn’t home.
When I rush out of the front door, you are there waiting. Your briefcase is on the ground by your feet. You smile at me and hold your arms out expectantly.
I throw my arms around you and swing you around, holding back tears of joy. It feels so right to hold you.
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay
I will tell you how I feel. I will leave him. I will not lose you again.