Words I Might Have Ate

It had now been a few days later, and now it was the weekend. I was still with Mike, and we both hadn't talked to Billie since that day I went over there. Mike tried to, but got shunned by Billie's evilness. It made me feel guilty that he hated Mike now because of me. I was coming between their friendship, but I didn't mean to. They were best friends before I even moved here. I don't want them to hate each other and throw away eight years of friendship.
 
And for some strange reason, Tre doesn't seem to be concerned by any of it. It's like he doesn't even care, which bothers me. He's supposed to be concerned for both of his best friends, and try to bring them back together... but nope. He just acts as if nothing's going on.
 
Me and Mike were at home, just wasting a day away. He was still kinda upset about Billie supposedly 'hating' him. I was too, but I tried not t let it bother me much.
 
"I'm bored," I sighed. Mike nodded in agreement. "Let's go somewhere Mike."
 
"Carrie, are you sure you wanna be with me?" I sighed again.
 
"Yes Mike. Look, I know you're mad at me for splitting you and Billie up--"
 
"Carrie, I'm not mad at you."

"You should be," I mumbled.
 
"Carrie, I'm not. And it's not your fault. Billie's just stupid, okay? He doesn't know what he wants anymore, he's confused about everything, and he thinks he hates everyone, okay? His mind's fucking with him."

"What made him like this Mike? Me. If I hadn't of broken up with him, none of this would be happening. It's my fault you guys aren't friends now."

"Stop! It's not your fault, and it's not my fault! It's not anyone's fault! It's him! He needs to get his mind right and lay off the pot for a while, cause it's not helping anything for anyone." Mike scared me a bit when he started yelling. I never really saw him mad before, or yell... just at Tre, but everyone yelled at Tre.
 
"... Sorry. Just stop blaming yourself for everything. It's not you--at all. Trust me." I nodded slowly. I still thought I was the one to blame.
 

"Can't I get some fucking peace in this damn house? God, leave me alone!" I slammed my door shut on my brother, who magically came home and was now bugging the shit out of me. Brad was home, which sucked dick. I wanted to go over to Egg's house, but stupid prick Brad wouldn't let me.
 
He doesn't even know Egg moved back. Heh. He hated Egg. My Mom didn't like him much either. Egg would always just act like he was right at home. Actually, it was kinda like his second home cause he was over here so much. He swore like a sailor and never cleaned up after himself unless someone said something. Most of the time I would, cause I wouldn't wanna get yelled at.
 
Of course when Brad was home, Egg couldn't come over. Actually, no one could--especially Tre. He was never really welcome unless I said he could come over, and I'd still have to get the O.K from my Mom.
 
I still can't believe it. Carrie and Mike... I always knew she had a thing for him. She was practically all over him at Homecoming. Man... that was the last thing I ever thought would happen. I can't believe he asked her out. Now they're just going about their business like nothing happened. Mike hasn't talked to me... well, he tried, but I was mad, and kinda went off on him.
 
"Why the hell does this have to happen to me?" I questioned to myself. "Am I being punished for something? Is it for dropping out? Why?" My door burst open and in came Brad.
 
"Get the fuck out of my room!"
 
"I'm sick of you acting like you own the fucking place! You don't own shit in here!"
 
"It's my fucking room!"
 
"Are you paying for it?"
 
"No, but it was provided for me, so therefore it's mine, so get the fuck out!" Before I knew it, his hand was around my throat.
 
"If you don't stop talking to me like one of your goddamn friends, I swear, I'll fuck you up." He glared at me while I glared back at him, even though I couldn't really breathe.

"Hey!" David shouted, just in time before I passed out. "Let go of him, or I'll call the cops." Brad acted like he was thinking about it, just to make me suffer a few more seconds. He finally let go, and I rubbed my neck, since it kinda hurt.
 
"If you ever touch him again, I'll kill you," David threatened. Brad glared at him, then at me. He left my room after shoving David out of the way. David wasn't exactly happy about that, but he tried to restrain himself. "You okay?" I nodded.
 
"Yeah, just go. I need to be alone."
 
"No, every time you're alone and mad at yourself, you do something stupid to yourself."
 
"Whatever David. Just go."

"Dude, what's with you lately?"
 
"My best friend's going out with my ex-girlfriend, and I'm kinda pissed about it! If you were here, you'd know!"
 
"I can't say anything to you without you yelling at me, huh?"
 
"Just get out David. Nevermind me. Just leave. Please." David sighed and left my room. I closed my door behind him and sat on my bed with a sigh.
 
I didn't know what to do anymore. I knew I wanted Carrie back, and I wanted to kill Mike, and I wanted to leave my house because my stupid fucking step-dad was pissing me off more than ever before. I couldn't though. I couldn't leave, I couldn't kill Mike, and I couldn't get Carrie back.
 
I missed her so much. It had only been two weeks since she broke up with me, but it felt like an eternity. I felt like a chunk of me was missing. She made me so happy... I feel like I can't go on without her any longer. I just... I just wanna know if she feels the same way about me. I gotta know.
 
When I told my Mom and Brad that I was dropping out, they weren't for it at all. Especially my Mom. She said she didn't wanna see me as a failure. Then Brad said that I had to move out if I was gonna drop out, cause I said I was eighteen, and I could do whatever I wanted, so he turned it around on me.
 
They had been arguing about that all week. I hadn't been to going to school, so I had to hear them complain on the days they had off of work. It really got old. And just because I even said anything about dropping out, they grounded me, so I couldn't even go anywhere if my Mom was home.
 
I was even grounded for the whole weekend... actually, for the rest of the fucking school year. Two months. My Mom and Brad made it perfectly clear that I couldn't go anywhere, no one could come over, I had to do all mine and my brother's chores, and I couldn't even practice with my band; not like I could anyway. I couldn't do shit. I was on total lock down. I couldn't use the phone either.
 
Brad had been getting on my case about everything. He was just looking excuses to yell at me. That's why he was pissing me off to the max. He just wanted to see me crack and break down. I haven't broken down yet though, and I wasn't planning on letting him even if I did.
 
I needed some pot, but I had no way getting any, since I couldn't communicate with anybody. All I had was my cigarettes, and they didn't do much for me. They just helped me mellow out a bit, but not a lot like pot... wait! I had pot in my backpack! Egg gave me some!
 
I quickly jumped off my bed and to my backpack which was across the room. I quickly unzipped my backpack and almost broke the zipper in the process. I pulled out the bag, and practically squealed with happiness. I checked in my drawer for some paper, and cheered when I found some. I quickly and gently threw my bad and the paper on my bed and snatched a magazine from under my bed.
 
I sat it in my lap, and began rolling up as usual. I wasn't gonna be stupid and smoke it in my room. I was gonna smoke it in the bathroom... or in David's room... actually, my room would be better. I grabbed my lighter off of my desk and lit my joint, taking a long puff from it, and closing my yes as I felt the long awaited effect.
 
I slowly blew out the smoke and relaxed a bit. Well, I felt a whole lot better than I did before. I was still pissed off, but I didn't really pay attention to it. Mary Jane has that effect on you.
 
"Hey Billie," my brother called, knocking on my door.
 
"God, fucking retard," I muttered. I quickly put my joint in the ashtray and fanned the air around me with my magazine. I threw my pot under my pillow, and rubbed my face for a second. The room was practically spinning, and I started getting these crazy thoughts, like; I thought my pillows were come alive and suffocate. I shook my head real quick and walked to my door. I unlocked it, and David looked at me strangely.
 
"What?" I asked.
 
"Time to do the chores, which mean mine and yours." I groaned and stumbled a bit.
 
"Dude, could you do them for me? Please? Just for today? Please?"

"What's so important that you need to do?"
 
"Nothing. I just don't wanna do my chores today."
 
"Brad told me to tell--"
 
"Fuck Brad. I don't give a fuck about what he fucking says. Trying to fucking strangle me... fucking, fucking fucker." David peeked his head in my room, and widened his eyes. He stepped in my room and closed my door.
 
"Are you fucking smoking in here?" I looked at my joint in the ashtray, and shook my head. "You're fucking stupid. He's gonna kill you if he catches you."

"Aren't you gonna call the cops on him if he lays another hand on me?"
 
"Yeah, but you brought this upon yourself. You're taking a risk."
 
"Yeah, whatever. I needed something to relax, okay? I forgot I had some, then remembered, so if I get caught, I'll handle Brad myself, cause I really need that joint right now, and it's burning out cause you're wasting my time, you fucktard!"
 
"I was gonna stick up for your ass, but I don't know anymore." I just ignored him and snatched my joint from the ashtray, and took another puff. That one really hit the spot. I stumbled a bit when I took that hit.
 
"You're a dumbass." He walked out of my room and closed the door behind him. I lay on my bed with the joint in between my fingers and closed my eyes. I didn't really care about anything, except Carrie... still... And those stupid pillows.
 

Mike and I were at Tre's house, chilling with him and Pepper. I swear, they spent more time with each other than they do with their own 'fuck-buddies.' And they flirt with each other enough, so why not, you know?
 
"I wanna get high," Tre sighed. Pepper nodded.
 
"I hear Egg's got good shit. I think he said he put some other stuff in it to spice it up."
 
"Sweet. Let's go get some then."
 
"Nah, it'd be better if he delivered it to us," Tre stated. "That way we wouldn't have to go anywhere."
 
"Ooh, guess who I saw the other day," I chimed in. They gave me quizzical looks, so I figured that was a 'who?' "Hailey."

"Turner? Jimmy's old flame?" I nodded.
 
"I haven't seen Hailey in forever," Pepper sighed. She then pushed my shoulder. "Why didn't you invite me, whore!" I laughed.

"It was the day I left class for... Billie." Pepper shivered.
 
"I still can't believe you wasted ten minutes on him. He didn't even appreciate your help. I should kick his ass right now."
 
"Yeah. He is being an asshole," Tre agreed.

"Then why don't you do something about it Tre?" I asked. "We can't since he hates us all."
 
"He's not gonna listen to me. No one ever listens to me, duh. Try asking Egg." I sighed.

"Billie's always around Egg. Haven't you noticed that? If I try to talk to Egg, Billie will probably say something to me, than take Egg and walk off." Mike shook his head.
 
"No, Egg will stop him before he says anything to you. Egg's cool like that, and he doesn't like the asshole side of Billie." Tre nodded.
 
"Yeah. Egg's a pretty good guy."
 
"Egg has a big penis," Pepper sighed. I burst into laughter, along with Tre and Mike. "I felt left out of the conversation."

"That was so random," I laughed.

"But true," Tre smirked. I laughed again.
 
"Why else do you think his nickname is 'Eggplant?' He makes sure to plant in your egg." It took me a second to get it, but I did, and laughed. Mike and Tre laughed as well.
 
"Goddamn, you're funny like me," Tre chuckled. "I love ya Pepper."
 
"And I love ya too Tre," she giggled, hugging him playfully. Tre hugged her back and kissed her cheek.
 
"Ooh, getting a little frisky Tre," Pepper giggled.
 
"Oh, you don't know the half of it," Tre grinned. We all laughed.
 
"Hey Tre, come with me for a second," I said, getting up from the floor. He did and followed me into the kitchen.
 
"Now Carrie, you know I'd love to bang you, but I'm still with Gina, and I don't think she'd--" I laughed.
 
"Shut up. Be serious with me here--do you wanna go out with Pepper?"
 
"Carrie, I already told you, I don't wanna fuck our friendship up. Plus, we're both taken." I smiled.
 
"You didn't answer my question. Do you?" He sighed.

"Maybe..."
 
"You should ask her out. I know you're only using Gina for sex, and it's the same way with Pepper and Brett. She likes ya too man." Tre smiled.
 
"Really?" I nodded.
 
"Yeah. I asked her... she kinda didn't give me an answer, but I know she likes you." He chuckled. "I think you'd be way better off with Pepper. You guys are just alike, and both love sex. You'd love each other, no doubt. Gina's cool and everything, but... I don't know. Same with Brett." Tre nodded slowly, taking in everything I said.
 
"I'll think about it, okay? Will ya stop asking me that question now?" I nodded. "Kay... whatcha think we should do?" I shrugged.

"Get high?" Tre nodded with a grin.
 
"Mike! Call Egg, now!" Tre shouted while going out of the kitchen, me following in suit. Tre sat back on the floor next to Pepper, and Pepper gave me a funny look. Mike was indeed on the phone with Egg, telling him to gather some pot and bring it over.
 
After he got off the phone with him, we gathered up food and stuff that we could munch on. There was knocking at the door, and I got up to answer it.

"Hi Egg!" I greeted cheerfully, hugging him.

"Hey Carrie. Hey, I can't really stay. I'm gonna try and find a way to bust out your ex. You know, he's grounded until the school year's over, so yeah. I think he's going crazy... but you don't care, so why am I wasting your time?" I rolled my eyes.
 
"I do care... try and convince him not to hate Mike. I was the one who said yes, so he shouldn't be mad at him. He can't just give up on the band." Egg nodded.
 
"I know, I know Carrie. You know that day he left the school and you went after him?" I nodded. "He was gonna ask you back out. I swear." My jaw dropped and I gasped. "I gave him the courage to, and he was gonna really do it, but then he saw you and Mike together."
 
"Really?" Egg nodded. "Oh crap... I feel like a bitch now."
 
"Don't feel too bad. Just keep that in mind." He handed me the dime bag, and said bye to us all, then left. I sat back down with everyone and handed Tre the weed. Mike looked depressed now. I'm guessing he heard mine and Egg's conversation.
 
"I don't wanna smoke now," I sighed.
 
"Oh, come on Carrie. Pretend Egg never said anything about asshole. Smoke with us." Mike nudged me with his elbow, and nodded his head towards the kitchen. I got up from the floor and followed him into there.