The Journal
1/1
‘Be careful what you wish for.’ Those were the words someone once told me. Of course, I’ve heard of it. The only problem is we would never be fully aware of the wishes we made. You see, I’ve always wished for a close friend. A friend I could talk to when I’m happy or down or angry or in need of advice. A person whom I could share all my thoughts and worries. A friend that would listen and not judge. Sadly, this proved to be a harder task than I ever imagined.
Until the year I was finally allowed to enter the grounds of Hogwarts did I find this friend. My first year in the school I had been wishing to attend my entire life since I first found out about it when my brother, Bill left to the enchanted place. I was browsing through my second handed school books when I stumbled across the wrinkled, leather-bound journal. The parchment inside were yellow and coarse against my touch.
It was the day Ron, Fred and George teased me about Harry that had finally driven me to console my thoughts to the old journal. I was furiously scribbling down my anger and once I was satisfied, the unthinkable happened. Every word, line, sentence I wrote vanished as the ink from an invisible quilt began writing a reply. I was scared at first by the revelation but excited once I discovered I wasn’t losing my mind. That the person responding to my thoughts was Tom Marvolo Riddle.
That was how it all began. I wrote day and night. Every time I needed to talk to someone, Tom was by my side. I finally had a chance to vent out about my dumb brothers without letting them find out. And little by little we shared our experiences and feelings. Until…
All was black and ominous except for the cold moonlight which shone through the large, rectangle windows. I ran up the stairs, my footsteps weren’t the only sound. There were the soft snores from the people on the paintings. And the unnerving whispers which rung in my ears. Constantly ordering me what to do and what was good for me. My panting breaths echoed in the empty, dark corridor which I had just stepped onto.
The portrait of the Fat Lady who was in charge of guarding Gryffindor’s dormitories and common room loomed over me. She was sleeping soundly. At night, her usual warm features were transformed into one of eerie horror. I shuddered and was about to give her the password when the voice got louder.
“Ginny. Oh, innocent, little Ginny. You know that’s not where your heart wants to go. Why force yourself?” a low, male voice taunted. I closed my eyes and shook my head in denial. A laugh. “Come on, Ginny. You promised. You promised you will do this for me.” I shook my head vigorously in hopes that thevoice person would leave. “Besides, you want to. Yes, Ginny. You want to.”
“NO! I DON’T!” I shouted, opening my eyes to face the stirring Fat Lady. Her eyes fluttered and opened. I ran to a corner and hid. “Leave me alone!” I demanded in a hushed voice. “Go away, Tom! I won’t do anything for you!” I said through gritted teeth.
“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” His once soft voice rung louder. My hands covered my ears as I tried to convince myself that it would all go away. That it was only my imagination. Tom was a magical journal. That was all.
A menacing laugh pierced through my thoughts. “Oh, come on, Ginny! Who are you kidding?! Didn’t you say you wished I’m alive and not just a journal?!” Tom exclaimed. “And now that I’m finally here, you want me to leave?!”
“You’re not here, Tom! You’re not here!” I shouted and turned a three-sixty. “I can’t even see you! How can you be here?”
“Well, you’re not looking hard enough, Ginny,” the voice replied calmly. “I’m right here. I’ve always been here. Since the day you opened that journal and told me how foolish your brothers were, I’m already part of your life.”
“NO! No, you’re not here!” I yelled and ran down the corridor. I ran as fast as my legs could. I ran until I could hear nothing but the sound of my own beating heart. I ran until I had reached the girls’ toilet.
I stopped and waited for my breathing to calm. The place was in a shade of blue and grey as the dark sky sat quietly by the view of the window. The moon hid shyly behind the clouds. I turned the tap and stared at the cold water which burst through it. Suddenly, I felt at ease and realized Tom was no longer with me. I cupped my hands together and collected the water before splashing them over my face. Everything felt cool and calm as I repeated the action.
Satisfied, I turned the knob and all was quiet again. I wiped my face with the sleeves of my sweater. I turned to the mirror before me. My body tensed up as every muscle grew stiff at the sight of the reflection. I felt as if my heart had skipped a beat and my breath caught in my lungs.
What I saw on the mirror was no longer who I remembered I was. No more ginger hair. No more freckles on cream white skin. All I saw now was…
“Yes,” the reflection snarled and ran a hand through the thick, short black hair. The smile was an evil one. “I told you, Ginny. I told you I’m real.”
I stared at my own reflection in disbelief. “This… this is not possible!” I stuttered but all I saw was a sixteen year old boy where my reflection should be. “No…” I shook my head but nothing happened. I raised my hand to have a closer look and it was still my own bare hand. Then I reached for the reflection but all I felt was a mere cool glass of mirror. The reflection’s hand placed right where mine was. “This cannot be.”
“Oh yes, it is. Anything’s possible, Ginny. How many times have I told you that?”
“But… you’re supposed to be a book. A journal. You can’t be alive. You can’t be real,” I argued. Tom sighed. “Ginny. Sometimes I thought you’re just… oblivious. But up till this stage, I can’t believe you’re still this foolish,” he said. “I am Tom Marvolo Riddle. I was a student of Hogwarts too, years ago. Just like you.” I stared at the reflection and listened to what he just told me. Nothing made sense. He was a journal. He was the creation of an enchanted journal.
Tom groaned in frustration. “Allow me to demonstrate,” he whipped out a wand and I realized then it was me who had my wand out. He wrote his name before me. Tom Marvolo Riddle. I watched ashe I rearranged the letters and read, ‘I am Lord Voldermort.’
I read the words before my eyes, again and again. This couldn’t be. “Voldermort’s dead,” I said. Tom rolled his eyes. “I am not dead!” he exclaimed angrily. “And you’re going to help me fix that error.”
“Me?”
Tom nodded and kepthis my wand back. “I will never help you in a million years! Not when I’m alive. And not even when I’m dead.” Tom laughed. “Oh silly, Ginny. Poor innocent Ginny. Don’t you see? I am you. You are Tom Riddle. We are one and no matter how hard you try to stop me. You’re never going to make it,” Tom said.
“Besides, you’re weak, Ginny. You’re weak and vulnerable. You’ve always been week, Ginny,” Tom revealed, his dark eyes penetrated through mine. “Face it, Ginny! You’ve always been the outcast in your family. Your brothers love to bully you because you’re an easy victim. You always try to please everyone but never thought of yourself, Ginny. You’re weak and that is all you’ll ever be.”
I heard him. I heard the words which came out of his mouth. I heard and I listened. And now I’m trapped inside a body, no longer mine. Taken over by a stranger I once trusted with my own life.
Until the year I was finally allowed to enter the grounds of Hogwarts did I find this friend. My first year in the school I had been wishing to attend my entire life since I first found out about it when my brother, Bill left to the enchanted place. I was browsing through my second handed school books when I stumbled across the wrinkled, leather-bound journal. The parchment inside were yellow and coarse against my touch.
It was the day Ron, Fred and George teased me about Harry that had finally driven me to console my thoughts to the old journal. I was furiously scribbling down my anger and once I was satisfied, the unthinkable happened. Every word, line, sentence I wrote vanished as the ink from an invisible quilt began writing a reply. I was scared at first by the revelation but excited once I discovered I wasn’t losing my mind. That the person responding to my thoughts was Tom Marvolo Riddle.
That was how it all began. I wrote day and night. Every time I needed to talk to someone, Tom was by my side. I finally had a chance to vent out about my dumb brothers without letting them find out. And little by little we shared our experiences and feelings. Until…
All was black and ominous except for the cold moonlight which shone through the large, rectangle windows. I ran up the stairs, my footsteps weren’t the only sound. There were the soft snores from the people on the paintings. And the unnerving whispers which rung in my ears. Constantly ordering me what to do and what was good for me. My panting breaths echoed in the empty, dark corridor which I had just stepped onto.
The portrait of the Fat Lady who was in charge of guarding Gryffindor’s dormitories and common room loomed over me. She was sleeping soundly. At night, her usual warm features were transformed into one of eerie horror. I shuddered and was about to give her the password when the voice got louder.
“Ginny. Oh, innocent, little Ginny. You know that’s not where your heart wants to go. Why force yourself?” a low, male voice taunted. I closed my eyes and shook my head in denial. A laugh. “Come on, Ginny. You promised. You promised you will do this for me.” I shook my head vigorously in hopes that thevoice person would leave. “Besides, you want to. Yes, Ginny. You want to.”
“NO! I DON’T!” I shouted, opening my eyes to face the stirring Fat Lady. Her eyes fluttered and opened. I ran to a corner and hid. “Leave me alone!” I demanded in a hushed voice. “Go away, Tom! I won’t do anything for you!” I said through gritted teeth.
“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” His once soft voice rung louder. My hands covered my ears as I tried to convince myself that it would all go away. That it was only my imagination. Tom was a magical journal. That was all.
A menacing laugh pierced through my thoughts. “Oh, come on, Ginny! Who are you kidding?! Didn’t you say you wished I’m alive and not just a journal?!” Tom exclaimed. “And now that I’m finally here, you want me to leave?!”
“You’re not here, Tom! You’re not here!” I shouted and turned a three-sixty. “I can’t even see you! How can you be here?”
“Well, you’re not looking hard enough, Ginny,” the voice replied calmly. “I’m right here. I’ve always been here. Since the day you opened that journal and told me how foolish your brothers were, I’m already part of your life.”
“NO! No, you’re not here!” I yelled and ran down the corridor. I ran as fast as my legs could. I ran until I could hear nothing but the sound of my own beating heart. I ran until I had reached the girls’ toilet.
I stopped and waited for my breathing to calm. The place was in a shade of blue and grey as the dark sky sat quietly by the view of the window. The moon hid shyly behind the clouds. I turned the tap and stared at the cold water which burst through it. Suddenly, I felt at ease and realized Tom was no longer with me. I cupped my hands together and collected the water before splashing them over my face. Everything felt cool and calm as I repeated the action.
Satisfied, I turned the knob and all was quiet again. I wiped my face with the sleeves of my sweater. I turned to the mirror before me. My body tensed up as every muscle grew stiff at the sight of the reflection. I felt as if my heart had skipped a beat and my breath caught in my lungs.
What I saw on the mirror was no longer who I remembered I was. No more ginger hair. No more freckles on cream white skin. All I saw now was…
“Yes,” the reflection snarled and ran a hand through the thick, short black hair. The smile was an evil one. “I told you, Ginny. I told you I’m real.”
I stared at my own reflection in disbelief. “This… this is not possible!” I stuttered but all I saw was a sixteen year old boy where my reflection should be. “No…” I shook my head but nothing happened. I raised my hand to have a closer look and it was still my own bare hand. Then I reached for the reflection but all I felt was a mere cool glass of mirror. The reflection’s hand placed right where mine was. “This cannot be.”
“Oh yes, it is. Anything’s possible, Ginny. How many times have I told you that?”
“But… you’re supposed to be a book. A journal. You can’t be alive. You can’t be real,” I argued. Tom sighed. “Ginny. Sometimes I thought you’re just… oblivious. But up till this stage, I can’t believe you’re still this foolish,” he said. “I am Tom Marvolo Riddle. I was a student of Hogwarts too, years ago. Just like you.” I stared at the reflection and listened to what he just told me. Nothing made sense. He was a journal. He was the creation of an enchanted journal.
Tom groaned in frustration. “Allow me to demonstrate,” he whipped out a wand and I realized then it was me who had my wand out. He wrote his name before me. Tom Marvolo Riddle. I watched ashe I rearranged the letters and read, ‘I am Lord Voldermort.’
I read the words before my eyes, again and again. This couldn’t be. “Voldermort’s dead,” I said. Tom rolled his eyes. “I am not dead!” he exclaimed angrily. “And you’re going to help me fix that error.”
“Me?”
Tom nodded and kepthis my wand back. “I will never help you in a million years! Not when I’m alive. And not even when I’m dead.” Tom laughed. “Oh silly, Ginny. Poor innocent Ginny. Don’t you see? I am you. You are Tom Riddle. We are one and no matter how hard you try to stop me. You’re never going to make it,” Tom said.
“Besides, you’re weak, Ginny. You’re weak and vulnerable. You’ve always been week, Ginny,” Tom revealed, his dark eyes penetrated through mine. “Face it, Ginny! You’ve always been the outcast in your family. Your brothers love to bully you because you’re an easy victim. You always try to please everyone but never thought of yourself, Ginny. You’re weak and that is all you’ll ever be.”
I heard him. I heard the words which came out of his mouth. I heard and I listened. And now I’m trapped inside a body, no longer mine. Taken over by a stranger I once trusted with my own life.
♠ ♠ ♠
The End.