That's The Way It Is

I sighed as I watched my boyfriend snorting lines on the coffee table. I knew what he did at these parties, but I agreed to come anyway.

He wasn’t like this until he met Ronnie. Ronnie was the biggest partier you could imagine. In turn, Max wanted to be one to fit in.

In public, Max acted as though I didn’t exist. He flirted, drank, and did any drugs you could throw at him.

Part of me wondered if it was because he never fit in during high school. I was his only friend then, and he caught hell for it every day. He was called gay, and I was called a whore. That’s just how life works.

He would lie and say he wasn’t addicted. Everyone knew he was.

He swore up and down that he wasn’t putting on a front, but he was.

At home, he was the kindest and most amazing boyfriend and lover; the type that caters to your every need. He held my hair back when I was sick. He wiped my tears away when I was sad. He was perfect.

With Ronnie, he became a loud, obnoxious asshole. Why he wanted to impress Ronnie, I’ll never be able to understand. No one else liked Ronnie. No one else tried to impress him or befriend him.

Max became a person I couldn’t stand to be around. I stayed at home all the time. I refused to go anywhere with him. I didn’t want to watch him spiraling down.

The only reason I came to this party was because Max threatened to leave me if I didn’t spend more time with him. I can’t bear to lose him. As much as it hurts, I know my Max is still in there.

Loud voices began screaming a warning from outside and I panicked. Cops.

“Max! Let’s go!” I jerked his arm and tried to pry him from the room.

“What the hell? Let me go!” He pulled his arm back.

“Max, you can’t go to jail! Come on!” I pleaded. He heard the sirens and his eyes widened.

“Shit! Where do we go?” He looked around wildly.

“Back yard! They’re not here yet; we can hop the fence!” I drug him out the back door and somehow climbed over the fence.

We ran to a local park and put on the façade of an innocent couple taking a stroll.

“Damn, that was close,” He laughed as though it was no big deal we had just fled from the cops.

“Max, this shit is getting ridiculous,” I snapped.

“What are you talking about?” He tilted his head. Great. He’s so high he won’t even remember this conversation.

“The partying, Max! You’re constantly running from cops and protecting Ronnie. You’re ruining both of our lives,” I admitted for the first time. I never had the heart to tell him.

“You never had a problem with it before!” He exclaimed.

“I’ve always had a problem, Max. I just never said anything. I thought it would pass. I thought you were smart enough to see yourself going downhill!” I tried to hold in my tears.

“I’m the same person I’ve always been,” He grumbled, kicking the ground stubbornly. He wouldn’t look up from the ground.

“No, you’re not, Max. You’re not the same person I fell in love with,” I whispered the last part. His head jerked up and his sharp intake of breath broke the silence. We both stopped walking.

“You don’t love me any more?” His voice was shaking. His lower lip quivered. I watched his perfect green eyes fill with tears and my Max resurfaced.

“I do still love you, Max. I swear I do. I just hate what you’ve become. You have to stop this, Max. It can’t go on any more,” I struggled to keep my voice steady. I had to be strong right now. If I was strong, he would listen. I could break him.

“I’ll- I’ll do anything! Don’t- Don’t leave me! I can’t lose you!” His voice was thick as he fought off sobs. His tears fell freely and I couldn’t help but cry as well.

“No more drugs. No more parties, Max. Promise me,” I demanded.

“I promise. I fucking promise, baby. I love you so much!” He looked so small, so broken.

I placed my hands on either side of his face, wiping his tears away with my thumbs.

“I love you more than anything, Max. That’s why I’m doing this. Do you understand that?” I pressed. He had to know it was for his own good.

He nodded and timidly wrapped his arms around my waist. I moved my arms around his shoulders and we embraced each other tightly as we cried.

About an hour later, we made our way back to the street where the party had been and I silently thanked God for making me park so far away my car couldn’t be associated with the party.

As we walked to the car, we heard footsteps.

“Where’d you guys go?” It was Anthony; one of Max’s friends.

“The park. We waited it out,” I answered.

“Anybody get caught?” Max asked.

“…Ronnie,” Anthony sighed.

“What?!” Max’s jaw dropped. This was shocking to even me. Ronnie had been caught before, but he learned after that. He was the world’s greatest escape artist.

“Yep. Direct parole violation. He’s gonna do time,” Anthony was obviously using a nice tone to console Max. He never liked Ronnie, either.

Max was frozen. He couldn’t believe it. Ronnie was invincible to him, for some reason.

“Come on, Max. Let’s go home,” I said quietly, trying to coax him into the car. He silently nodded and slipped into the passenger seat. I got into the driver’s side and started the car.

“Max?” I asked quietly. He turned his attention to me.

“We’ll get through this,” I promised him.

“I know,” He mumbled.

“Ronnie needs this, babe. This will help him,” I pressed.

“I hope so. Don’t ever let me be like that again. If I ever disappoint you again, please tell me. Don’t let me get so bad again?” He pleaded.

“I promise, baby. I promise,” I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together, kissing the back of his hand.

I knew we would be okay. Ronnie was going to prison, and Max was getting clean. Everyone wasn’t coming out of this a winner, but that’s the way it is.