You're the Apple

Frank’s my boyfriend of four years. We meet a while back when he was still in college.

It had been a tiring day and I decided I needed to relax and have time for myself, so I decided I would have dinner in a little Chinese dinner close to my house. It was cozy and the people were nice. After that I would go home and have a long, hot bath with a lot of bubbles at candlelight. Just what I needed. I would spoil myself a little tonight.

I was between a fight between me and the chopsticks that just wouldn’t pick up the food when a shadow hovered over me. I looked up to see a fine looking young man smiling at me. And by fine I mean fucking hot, walking orgasm kind of fine.

“Hum, hey.” He said.

“Hey.” I answered feeling a curiosity rising inside of me. What was he doing here?

“Can I sit?” He asked gesturing to the chair opposite to the one I was sitting on with a move of the head. I nodded, still taking in his beauty. He was short, maybe 5.2. He had olive skin covered by a large amount of tattoos. You could see his toned up chest through the skin tight white t-shirt he was wearing, along with dark blue skinny jeans. His face was adorned by two piercing greenish hazel eyes, perfect thin pink lips with a lip ring and a little Italian nose, adorned by another piercing.

His hair was a shinny dark brown mess, getting messier every time he passed his hand through it.

“Not so seem rude or anything.” I paused. “But why are you here?” I asked, noticing that after the long time I took to look at him and take in his beauty, he still hadn’t said anything.
“I… hum. I was with a friend.” He started pointing at a big guy with light brown curly hair and full lips. “And… I-I…” He kept stuttering. He raised his closed hand from under the table and opened it showing me a little piece of paper. “It’s a fortune from one of the cookies.” He explained. “It… I believe they… they help people make choices and… you know.” He bit his lip. “It says: one that would have the fruit must climb the tree.” He recited. “I… I believe it means I need to take the risk, to get the big shinny apple.” He explained to me. I though it was really cute he believed in all those things but I still didn’t understand what he wanted.

“I still don’t know what you-”

“You’re the apple.” He said cutting me off in what it seemed a word vomit or maybe a sudden race of courage. “And… I’m taking my chance. Do you...” He paused to choose his words. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” He asked suddenly leaving me no choice but stare until it hit me. “I know how it sounds, but I- oh, my god you’re straight! I’m sorry. I… I should go.” He rambled before getting up, ready to leave.

“Wait.” I said, a smile made its way up to my face. “I… I’d be glad to.” In that moment I really didn’t think about it. I answered without really thinking about all the things that would later it my head like a cold shower and make me shiver from the things my own mind was making up.
I had the third war in my head but I finally won myself. I won all the arguments and I was ready to leave for my date.

I’m glad I said yes. Right now it was the thing I still congratulate myself more for doing. It made all the other choices have a meaning to my life. A life, once upon a time, mean less.

I’m not here to say it was an easy relationship. We had more fights during the time we lasted that a married couple through all their life together. That scared me sometimes. I would ask myself if we would ever get worse if we did get married. But it would just slip from my mind. Frank’s younger he still has a lot to live. That’s what he says. I’ve know him long enough to know that what he really means is that he’s scared of taking it one step further. I’m not about to change that. It’s not on me to change what I want to change. I just wait for it to happen. That’s why I am, and this is no secret, the girl in the relationship. I’ll just wait until he asks because it’s not in my nature or on my destiny to change what I want to change. Whatever it is.

All of our fights were mean less to any of us. We were just too damn proud to say I’m sorry. At least all but one.

I really did though it was the end. Our end. Sure, it was me that wasn’t forgiving, but it was his own damn fault, and I might have been suffering, but I really did wish he was worse.

So there I was again. In that same Chinese dinner, after another tiring day of the same fucking work and trying to spoil myself.

If I were you I would be asking the same, so I’m going to answer. Yes, it did bring memories. But they were good memories.

So there I was again, finishing my meal, without interruptions this time and in front of me was a fortune cookie. I took it in my hand, deciding why I should open it. If they helped Frank making the choice that would make my life miserable, why would I want to have their help in making a choice? Did I really?

Yes, I did. Frank was the best thing in my life, and I knew that it would have ended up one way or another. Maybe for once or twice, closed in my head, I thought, wished I would be the first to go. The first to die, so I wouldn’t have to suffer if he did go first. But it made me sad to think of a heaven without Frank. At least on earth I had the other people misery to distract me.

So I opened the cookie and looked at the paper inside. Deep down in my head I was wishing I would get something like this so I would have a reason. An answer to give if someone asked me why.

To love is to forgive.

I read it over again smiling to myself, right before paying and running to my car outside, trying to avoid the pouring rain.

I drove the fastest I could and got there not long after. I ran to the front door and rang the bell. I waited and waited, but never got an answer. He’s not home. He’s probably somewhere fucking somebody else. I bet he had forgotten all about me already. I ran to my car again only feeling a slight difference between the cold pouring rain and my warm salty tears.

I took my time to start the car, drying my tears so I could see the road clearly. I drove home and this time I didn’t even bother to run. I just walked to the front door letting the rain pour on me, this time not feeling any difference between my tears and the rain.

I walked calmly, head low. When I got to the front porch I got a big surprise. There was a little body sitting next to my door, curled up in a ball and looking at a little paper in their hands. Those hand belong to Frank, those ink craved hands.

I approached the body and noticed he was shaking. I dropped to my knees and hugged him carefully. He wasn’t cold. He was dry and warm, but he was still shaking. Then a sob was heard as he leaner more into my embrace. I took the paper out of his hands. The ink was blotting but you could still make out what it read.

A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he gives up.

“I’m sorry.” The little man told me, hopefully, for the last time.

After that our relationship grew even stronger, but I still felt that little thing missing. I wanted to marry him. I felt ready, I have felt ready for the longest of times, but he was still the same. He didn’t even talk about it.

But I lived. I had him and that was the most important. We were out on dates all the time and would often go to the little Chinese dinner where we had meet. Life was great, even without that little missing piece.

Today we’re going to the little Chinese dinner again. We always sat in the same table. We talked while we ate and the conversation was never over. It had never been over for all those years we have been together.

Then, after we ate, we would always open a fortune cookie. Each one grabbed theirs and opened it. Mine said:

Discontent is the first necessity of progress.

I didn’t need to read it again to understand what it meant. It was helping me making a choice. I looked around scanning the place, trying to find anything that would serve the matter. I found nothing. I thought about myself, what I had in my pockets and that’s when I remembered the most important thing I had ever owned.

I held the object in my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Frank?” He looked up from his fortune. He would always take a lot of time, trying to understand every meaning behind the fortune. He looked confused as if he hadn’t understood the real meaning of the fortune yet. I ignored it. Right now it was all about my fortune. “Will you marry me?” I asked opening my hand and showing him the ring my grandmother gave me after my grandfather died. She would wear his ring so she gave me hers for me to keep and give me strength. So I would never forget her.

His face lighted up and the face of confusion turning into one of happiness and understanding. He shot up from his chair and hugged me.

“Yes. Yes. Yes!” He whispered in my ear. I smiled and hugged him back. But I was still curious. I picked up his fortune.

Don't be afraid to take that big step.