First Impressions

Alex is sitting right next to him, but there’s nothing Jack can do about it. If he even attempted to put a comforting hand on his knee, it would instantly be slapped away. He only knows this because he’s tried – numerous times.

Zack and Rian know that something’s up, they just can’t figure it out. There’s obvious tension between the two best friends, so something really bad had to have happened, they think.

“So um… Did something go on between you two after we left on Friday? You’re acting so weird.”

The question/statement comes from Zack. He’s looking back and forth between Alex and Jack, as if that would help him figure it out.

“No.”

Jack’s jaw drops at Alex’s blatant denial of anything happening between them over the weekend. “Are you kidding me?”

“Oh, you want to tell them?” Alex sneers.

“Tell us what?” Rian asks, confusion written all over his face.

“Nothing…” Jack mumbles.

“That’s just like you,” Alex hisses. “Why can’t you just man up and say it!”

Jack sighs. Might as well make him happy. “I’m gay, alright guys?”

Zack smirks and Rian just starts laughing. Jack frowns, wondering what the hell is so hysterical.

“Well, that makes sense,” Rian states. “What, did you have like a sudden enlightening?”

“Are you serious? How the hell was it so obvious?!” Jack asks, slightly exasperated. How did everyone know?

“I don’t know, Jack… It kind of just was…”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Anyway, what was the point of this conversation? That can’t be why you two are so awkward – Oh, shit!” Zack cuts himself off, and stares at his two friends with wide eyes. “You two hooked up, didn’t you?!”

“Shhh!” both Alex and Jack hiss at the same time.

“Oh, my bad. But seriously, you did!”

Alex half nods and half shrugs. “Jack doesn’t want anyone to know. He’s embarrassed of me.”

“No,” Jack interrupts. “That’s not it at all, and you know it! I’m just not ready to come out to the whole fucking school. You may walk around screaming ‘I’m gay!’, but I don’t!”

“I don’t do that…”

“Well, everyone already knows that you’re gay. I want to tell my parents first, alright?”

“Why is this conversation happening in this lunch room?”

Jack shrugs. Alex is right; they really couldn’t talk about it here. Anyone could overhear.

**

It’s awkward. Jack knows that. He doesn’t know how to make it not awkward, though. He knows Alex is still kind of mad at him. But he’s nowhere near ready to come out. It’s just not the right time.

“Can you please talk to me?” Alex just continues to sulk. “Please? Because honestly, this is so stupid. I like you, you know that.”

“Then why can’t you just… come out? For me?”

Alex’s voice is strained and Jack knows he’s just seconds away from crying.

“Alex…”

Jack decides that the way he’s sitting is too uncomfortable for this ridiculous yet necessary conversation and decides to fix it. He sits on his legs and turns in the seat to face Alex. Now he’s as comfortable as he possibly can be in a car.

“Alex, I like you too much to argue with you about this. Honestly, can’t you just understand that I’m not mentally ready to tell my parents? I’m just…not.”

Alex nods slightly and then starts chewing on his nails. “I just… I want everyone to know your mine.”

“Aww, Lex.” Jack leans forward and brings Alex into a hug as best as he could. “I am yours.”
**