Paper Lanterns

September came, and I didn't go off to UCSD, or any college that I'd applied to. But that doesn't matter. All I need to focus on is getting to Billie's in one piece. I'm a complete wreck right now, and really need him.

[Billie Joe]

I was sitting on the couch watching TV, when someone came in the door. I looked up, and saw the back of Grace, as she set down her guitar.

'Why'd she bring that?'

Once she'd turned around, and I saw her face, I shot up and pulled her into a hug. Her eyes were puffy and swollen with red, tear stained cheeks.. She looked disheveled.

"Gray, what happened?" I rubbed her back, letting her clutch onto me as if her life depended on it.

"I- I need to lay down for a bit.." she mumbled, letting me go, and walking into my room.

"Gray?" I followed her, sitting on my bed that she'd already gotten into.

"I don't want to talk about it now. Lemme sleep," she let out shakily, and I nodded, kissing her forehead.

"Just stay here, okay?" She mumbled, and I obeyed, laying down beside her. She moved closer to me, resting her head on my chest.

As she slept, I tried to think of reasons why she'd act like this. I wasn't coming up with anything realistic, and before I knew it, I heard her call my name.

"Billie Joe?"

"Yeah, Grace?" I looked down at her. She sat up, pulling me with her.

"Billie.. I went home after work.. to get some stuff then come here..." I realized she was telling me what happened, so I made sure to listen carefully.

[Grace]

"He was there. In my room.. waiting with duct tape and something else.. I can't remember."

"Who?" Billie questioned, but I ignored him, and continued.

"He tried to force himself on me." I couldn't say another word. The tears welled up again, and I let go. I felt Billie pull me into himself, trying to help me calm down.

Once I managed to do that, he asked again.

"Gray, who tried to do this? Because I swear, I'll make them wish they'd never been born."

"Drew" I spat, resting my head in the crook of his neck, taking deep breaths, inhaling his scent. I felt him tense up, but he remained silent.

"Jeff was there too. He said it was initiation, since he was new.."

"What kind of initiation?" Billie asked softly.

"It was for varsity baseball.. To pass the torch since Drew graduated, and Billie.. I don't want to go back there," I said into his neck, but I knew he heard.

"Which is why you're officially my new room mate. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Okay," I nodded, pulling back and rubbing my eyes.

"We'll get your things tomorrow when he's at summer school." I nodded again. Tomorrow was Thursday the 17th, I think. Jeff would have summer league practice too.

"I can help pay rent or for food or something.. I was looking into places earlier, but I know I'll feel safer here with you," I smiled at him, playing with the hem of my top.

"Gray, you don't have to."

"No, I want to. I'm going to, so deal with it. You need to eat more anyways," I said, and lifted his shirt so I could see how skinny he was.

"You probably weigh less than me," I shuddered slightly, glancing at his visible ribs, and let the shirt go.

"I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about," he sighed, adjusting his shirt.

"Yeah, until you get sent to the ER for malnutrition," I accidentally thought out loud, a slight bitterness to my voice.

"I'm gonna make you something," I told him, and got up.

In the kitchen, I gathered the few items, including eggs, bread, peanut butter, some old takeout, and a frost bitten veggie lasagna. I threw out all the unusable foods, and grabbed a frying pan. I made eggs, and peanut butter sandwiches. Odd combination, but it'll have to hold until tomorrow.

"Billie Joe!" I called, holding the two plates, and went into the living room.

Nope. I went to his room, but he wasn't there. The bathroom door was closed, so I held the plates with one hand, and then knocked on the door.

"What?" Billie snapped.

"Um, dinner's ready."

"I'll be out in a sec," he said, so I went back to his room.

Ten minutes went by, and he hadn't come back.

"Billie, I'm coming in." I opened the door, and saw him shirtless, staring at himself in the mirror.

"I really am pretty fucking messed up, huh Grace? I weigh less than 110, and I'm skinnier than a stick. It's because I can't afford to feed myself.. I can't get a fucking break, can I?"

"Billie Joe," I grabbed his hand, pulling him to face me, "you've been dealt a pretty shitty hand. But only you can make it better. You're going to get a record deal, but you can't expect one to show up instantaneously. In the meantime, I'll live here, and make you anything and everything you can eat. Everything is gonna work itself out," I told him.

"How are you so sure?"

"I don't know," I shook my head honestly, "but I've got this feeling."

He nodded, and gave me a hug.

"What would I do without you?" he asked quietly, pulling his shirt back on.

"I dunno.. Die?"

"Probably," he laughed as we went into his bedroom and ate.

"Tomorrow, after we get my stuff, we're going to the grocery store, okay?"

"Do I have to?" he whined, "you know all my favourites already."

"That I do. But I don't know Mike's."

"And you think I do?"

I laughed, "Okay. You caught me. I just don't want to go alone."

"That's all I needed to hear. Of course I'll go."

We sat on the couch in the living room, watching TV. I was laying down, with my head in Billie's lap, entwining my fingers with those on his right hand, while his left was playing with my hair.

"Billie?"

"Yeah?"

"Could we not tell anybody about.. uh... you know, yet?"

"Whatever you want Grace.. Whatever you want."