Paper Lanterns

"Don't start something you won't finish," he breathed as the elevator doors opened.

I shot him a fake glare, and exited the building, not waiting for him to catch up. I stopped a few yards outside, and thought of what to do next. I felt Billie's arms snake around my waist, and his chin in the crook of my neck.

"Let's go get lunch.. My treat," he said quietly.

"Billie Joe," I sighed, "we don't really have the money to be eating out all the time."

"I know, but what's wrong with.."

"Wanting to take me out? Nothing. I know you have good intentions, and want to do all these things for me, but it's not the right time."

"When is the right time?" he asked as we got on the train.

"When we have enough money to be able to go out and buy useless things just because we feel like it."

"Fine.." He let out a sigh and stared out the window.

"I'll make you a grilled cheese when we get back. How's that sound?"

"Just what I'm craving," he smiled, "you know me too well."

As soon as we got home, I did just that.

"Billie, what'll happen when you guys go on tour?" I asked while clearing our plates.

"You come with us."

"But what if you can't bring me?"

Billie remained silent, so I assumed he didn't have an answer, and supplied my own, "I'll stay here and man the fort."

[Billie Joe]

I watched Grace try and cover up the sad look that was in her eyes and clearly all over her face, but it was true. We didn't have the money to feed and house that many people for however long we'd go on tour.

"I'm so sorry babe," I started.
"Don't be. It's not just a dream anymore.. It's your job," she smiled.

"But," she suddenly said in a dangerously sharp tone, "if I ever hear that you fool around or sleep with a groupie.."

She stopped, and I saw her trying to make up her mind.

"I'm gone. And I'm so serious.. You're my Billie Joe, and nobody else gets to touch you like I may in the near future," she laughed, "plus, I don't want a fucking disease from some slut you 'accidentally' screwed after a wild party. That's just nasty."

"I promise that'll never happen.. It really won't," I told her honestly.

'I'd never do something like that to her.. Even if I was drunk or high, Mike and Tre would set me straight..'

As Grace constructed her next comment, I could only watch, with the fear that she could just leave me now nagging at the back of my mind.

[Grace]

I knew what I had to say.. But I couldn't put it into the right words, so I just said it.

"That's what you say now. But it'll be the last thing on your mind, until the morning after you've fucked up."

When he didn't reply, I went on, "I won't even bother to listen to your apologies or excuses. Promise me that will never happen.. That I won't have to do it."

"I promise," he whispered, leaning in and kissing me.

Billie lifted me up onto the kitchen counter, not breaking contact, and continued to heat things up.

"Oooh, Mike! A free show!" Tre suddenly yelled, making me jump back, and slam my head into the cabinet.

"Gray, you ok?" I heard Billie, as Tre and Mike huddled near me.

"Fucking hell... I need to lay down," I groaned, holding onto the back of my head. Billie picked me up, and brought me to the bedroom, setting me down carefully.

"Thanks," I half smiled, accidentally touching a very tender spot, and wincing.

[Billie Joe]

Just when it was getting good, Mike and Tre had to walk in. That's exactly what I need.. But when Grace jumped, hitting the cabinet, I thought I was gonna be sick. I got her to my room, and sat next to her on the bed.

"Lemme see," I demanded, taking a hold of her soft hands.

"Be careful," she mumbled.

"Don't worry," I smiled, taking a look. 'Oh fuck,' I thought, gazing at the gash in her head.

"Mike," I called out in a calm tone, so Grace doesn't worry.

"Yeah, man?" he came in, and upon seeing the problem,

"Oh.. yeah. Alright," and he went to grab a washcloth.

"Grace, babe?" I kept trying to stay calm, "we need to get you to the hospital.."

"Why? It's just a bump, right?" I shook my head, knowing she couldn't see me.

"Right?"

"Here's the rag you wanted," Mike gave me the damp cloth, and I gently placed it in a spot to help stop the bleeding.

"Billie Joe?" Grace asked in a very panicked voice.

"It'll be ok," I told her, before lifting her small frame up, and taking her down to my car.

On the way to the emergency room, Grace kept asking me what was wrong, but I stayed quiet. "Billie Joe! Please tell me. I don't want to freak out like you are."

'Damn. How does she do that?'

Gray was right. Inside, I've been having the biggest panic attack ever.

"You must have hit the handle.. and cracked the back of your head open," I told her finally.

She glanced at her hands, and turned a few shades paler than she was before.

Before she could answer, I said, "It's alright.. You're gonna be fine. Just don't think about it."

"What am I supposed to think about?"

At a loss, I took her hand with mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

While the doctor prepared Grace for her stitches, he told me that I needed to distract her, so I did the one thing I could think of.. and that was to sing.

I sang one I'd written a while ago.. Before we got together. Well, before she let us be friends again, that I called 'Only of You' and it's all truth.

I think Grace's the only girl I've ever wanted to actually be with long term.

The entire time I sang, I couldn't look her in the eyes. A lot of my songs are way too personal, but that's how I am, and Grace knows exactly how to interpret them..

Just add that to the list of reasons why I love her.