Paper Lanterns

That's when it hit me.

'He doesn't think I love him, so he wanted to break it off.'

I pushed him back, and went to the car.

When we got back home, I packed an overnight bag, ignoring Billie's pleas the entire time. I was ready to leave; my bag in hand, keys ready, and I was walking to the door. But Billie was standing there, blocking my only exit.

"Billie, please move."

"No fucking way," he crossed his arms.

"Billie Joe Armstrong. You get the hell away from that door."

"No. I'm not letting the best thing that's ever happened to me just leave without a fight."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked , trying not to crack.

"Because, we're in love. People who are in love don't leave each other, Grace."

"You're the one who left me! Do you have short term memory loss or something?! You seemed so sure of your decision when we were at the bay."

"But I didn't know that you'd told Tre.."

"Yeah. Because you probably left halfway through our conversation! Not to mention you were eavesdropping."

"How could you tell Tre all those things?" He asked, glancing at his hands.

"Tell him what?"

"All of those personal things? How could you spill your guts about us to him?"

"Billie Joe, I trust Tre. He's a great friend, and he listens when I need to talk to someone outside of our relationship. I'd really like it if I had other friends besides you and the guys. And I do, but I don't really hang out with them like I do with you. That's not the point though."

"Then what is?"

"I'm not leaving," I smiled.

"Really?"

I nodded, and he immediately pulled me into a long kiss.

"Billie.. Gig," I got out in between kisses, and let go of him.

"Huh?" he asked, going in for another.

"Nuh-uh. You have a gig in like, two hours."

"Shit, we've gotta go then," he went and gathered his equipment.

I knew Mike was already there.. Always the early one. Tre might, but who knows.

We got to Gilman's, with tons of time to spare, and since Tre wasn't busy getting in gig mode like Billie, I pulled him off to a table to talk.

"So, did you tell him?" Tre asked in a girly tone.

I sighed, "I know that Billie Joe doesn't really like the fact that I tell you everything, but I feel like I can really open up, and trust you. That's really rare, but you're probably one of the best friends I've had in a long time."

"Thanks Gracie. That means a lot," he smiled.

"Beej took me to the Bay and said he needed to tell me something. He told me we should break up."

Tre gasped, "Did you hit him?"

"No. I told him I what I had planned on saying, and that if he didn't want to be with me, it was fine."

"Oh god, he's an idiot."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I continued to tell him about what happened, ending with "But we're fine now that everything's been said."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Earlier, I told him that if I find out he's messed around or slept with anyone else when you guys go on tour, that I'd leave. I need you and Mike to make sure that never happens."

"Gracie! I'd never let him do something so hurtful to you!"

"Thanks."

"No problem, girlfriend. What are best buddies for?"

"Tre, come on!" Mike yelled from ten feet away.

"I'll see you guys after the set. Have fun!" I said before they disappeared.

The guys came on stage shortly after, and Billie Joe was full of an energy I'd never seen before. They played the usual, but were two songs from the end.

Billie looked around, talking to the crowd, further pulling them in with his charm.

"Alright," he smiled, sending a wink at me, "these next few are for a girl who's very special to me. Love ya, Gray."

'I love you too,' I mouthed at him, but I'm not sure if he saw.

Afterward, Mike went with Tre to his place, while Billie and I went to the apartment. I pulled him into the bedroom, closing the door behind us.

"You were amazing tonight," I told him in a quiet voice, before giving him a hard kiss. He pulled back, gasping slightly.

"Woah. Where'd that come from?"

I shrugged, "I've been thinking."

"About..?"

"Us." I smirked, taking a page out of his book.

"Oh.. Are you still angry about the,"

"No. I should be, but I'm not. I think we should take this to the next level."

"The next level being?"

I moved in closer to him, and softly pressed my lips to his, letting my hands undo his studded belt. I heard Billie take in a sharp breath, and noticed him shudder.

"Grace.."

"Mm?" I asked, my lips now at his neck.

"Are you," he stopped, and let out a low groan.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, gently pushing be backwards.

I looked into his eyes. They clearly begged me to say yes, but I knew he'd understand if I said no.

"I-- I need to use the bathroom. Don't go anywhere," I suddenly said, then went across the hall, and locked the door before sliding down to sit on the linoleum.

'Oh god..' I mentally kicked myself.

'He probably thinks I'm psycho. I really do think I'm ready.. and Billie's been patient enough.' I hopped up, checked my reflection,

'I'm halfway to sex hair, why stop now?' I smiled to myself, and reentered the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind me.

Billie was laying on his stomach, his head resting on his arms, facing the wall. I got onto the bed, and sat on -- well, more like straddled him, and began to knead his shoulders and neck.

"It's alright, Beej. You didn't do or say anything wrong. I'm glad you asked if I'm ready."

"How do you always know what's on my mind?" he grumbled into his arm.

"I don't know. It's probably got something to do with how I've known you for years."

"That could be why," he laughed.

"Are you sure you're ready to lose your virginity.. to me?" he asked, half serious, half joking.
I shook my head.

"I'm not losing it.. I'm letting it go, is more like it," I told him in a similar tone.

"Well then, let me just grab something," he said, and I let him up.

I saw an exasperated look appear on Billie's face as he shuffled through his dresser drawers. Next, he checked the bedside table, and even his wallet.

"God damn it.." he sighed, sitting back on the bed.

"What? No condoms?" I joked, but I stopped my giggling as soon as he replied.

"Yeah."

"Uhh. Want me to check Mike's room?"

He nodded, and I went into the room, taking a thorough look around. Upon my empty handed return, Billie began to beat himself up with things like, "How could we not have any fucking rubbers anywhere.." and, "I swear I got some not that long ago."

"Beej," I sat next to him on the bed, "it's okay. There'll be plenty of other times.. Like your birthday."

"No. It's not ok. We'll never be alone together. Mike and Tre'll do anything to keep us from it. I'm going out, and finding some."

"Alright," I sighed, and went into the living room.

Once Billie had left, I watched TV for an hour, before laying down, and letting sleep take over. I knew how much Billie and I both wanted to do the dirty deed, but I guess it just wasn't the right time.