Paper Lanterns

Things with Billie Joe had been moving along steadily, and as the day they were leaving to tour drew closer and closer, we had become more and more intense.

"Come on, Beej, we gotta hit the road!" Tre told him as we all stood outside our apartment building.

They had finished loading up the bookmobile, and Mike and Tre had already said their goodbyes to me.

"We'll be back in six weeks, remember?" Billie told me, a sad look in his normally bright eyes.

"I know. Just in time for you to turn nineteen," I smiled, giving him something to look forward to, "but don't worry. You guys are gonna have so much fun touring! Make sure you take pictures."

"And I'll call every time we get to a new city."

I shook my head.

"Really, just every so often is fine. Make sure you don't forget about little old me."

"I could never forget you, Gray!"

"Billie, we have to go," Mike stressed, starting the engine.

Billie leaned in, giving me a passion-filled, knee-buckling goodbye kiss, and when he pulled away, he hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek gently.

"Goodbye, Gray. I love you!" He got into the bookmobile.

"Don't have too much fun while we're gone," he called as Mike began to drive off, and I laughed, waving until they turned the corner and were gone, then I ran inside and got comfy in the warm blankets, turning on the TV and trying not to think about the fact that I won't see my boyfriend and best friends for he next six weeks.

The first two or three weeks, Billie would call every couple of days and just talk.

He always said the tour was going great, and that people were really into their music. He told me about how of all their clothes were stolen in Florida, and how Tre had pushed a TV out of a window at their hotel to see how fast it'd fall.

But by week five, Billie had been calling more and more often, sometimes twice a day. It was like he was trying to figure out if I knew something.

On February tenth, I had just gotten back from work, when the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I asked, expecting to hear Billie Joe's voice.

"Grace, it's Tre," came a very quiet, strange voice I'd never heard from Tre. It sounded like.. Well, it sounded serious.

"Tre, what's going on?"

"Billie's out getting some coffee with Mike, so I thought I'd finally call. Beej has been watching me like a hawk."

"Why?"

"Gracie, I love you, and you're basically my best friend, and I'm only telling you this because you made me promise," Tre started, and my heart stopped.

"We think Bill has slept with a few girls.."

"What? You think, but you don't know?"

"We never saw him in the act... We just heard him saying he and 'Stacey' or 'Lacey' were going to talk. But the girls were always clingy."

"How many?"

"What?"

"How many girls, Tre?"

"Four.. That we've seen."

"Thank you for telling me."

"Gracie, don't do anything stupid, please.."

"I'm not making any promises." I heard something in the background, then Tre said, "Yeah mom. I'll call you back later. I love you! Bye."

I hung slammed the phone down on the receiver, tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't know what to do, so I decided to do something to help me figure things out. I got in my Trans Am and got onto Highway 1, driving on the PCH until I was sick and tired of driving.

Hours later, I pulled off at a rest stop, turning my car off and breaking down. I sat there and cried until I physically couldn't anymore. It was sickening, how long I cried over Billie Joe.

After the tears had stopped, I took a nap in my car, then drove back on Highway 1 until I was back at Mike and Billie's apartment... Which didn't feel like home anymore.

"Home," I sighed, then came up with what to do. I would get my own place, then go to UC Berkeley in the fall. Billie would be too busy with the band and all his new skanks to even notice the fact that I had gone.

So for the next two days, I packed all of my stuff, found a two bedroom, one bathroom place at the Foxboro apartment complex fifteen or twenty minutes away.

By the time the guys were supposed to be back from their tour, I had moved into my new home.
I called Tre and told him about what I had done, and that I had forgotten a few things at Mike's. He said if I wanted to get them, then I needed to get them now.. So that's what I'm doing.

"Grace, I'm so sorry we couldn't keep a better watch over Billie," Mike told me when I came over.. Billie wasn't there, which was good.

"It's not your fault... I know you and Tre did what you could. I partly blame Billie Joe, but I kinda blame myself too."

"You know he loves you so much.. He just can't control himself when he drinks a lot."

I nodded, "But I made it perfectly clear that if he did anything with another girl on that tour, that I was leaving, so I am."

I walked into Billie's room, grabbing the last few things out of the closet and putting them into the bag I'd brought.

"Uh, Grace.. I'm sorry I couldn't keep him occupied," I heard Tre, then stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Billie Joe barge into the apartment.

I dropped my things on the bed and ran to the bedroom door, slamming and locking it before Billie could get in.

I backed away as he began banging on the door.

"Grace," I heard his voice calling through the door.

"Grace, what Tre told you.. It wasn't true! I never slept with anyone on tour!"

I rubbed my hands over my face, surprised to find fresh tears on my palms. I wiped my hands on my pants, then ran them through my hair.

"Stop lying to me!" I yelled back through the door.

"Damnit, Gray. You know me, how I am. Why would I lie to my best friend, the girl I love more than anything... Just open the door!"

"No," I squeaked out.

Billie was silent for a few seconds.

"Grace?" he asked.

"I said no, Billie Joe. No!"

I heard Mike and Tre's hushed voices, trying to talk some sense into Billie, but then there was a loud thud against the door, and an even louder, "Fuck!"

Then another thud, and the door came flying open, a bright red Billie Joe Armstrong came tumbling in. He quickly got to his feet, closing the door behind him.

"Billie Joe, please don't do this. Just let me go," I said as I grabbed my bag of stuff off of the bed, slinging it over my shoulder.

"No.. Please don't leave me.. Let's talk about this.."

I shook my head, somehow getting past Billie and out of his room, only to face Mike and Tre in the living room.

"Bye guys.. Talk to you soon."