Paper Lanterns

"Thank you. Okay, now. I know that what you said five years ago was one of the worst things to say, ever, and it is pretty much considered unforgivable. What you said truly hurt, not only me, but yourself," I drew a deep breath, then continued, "But I'm forgiving you."

Billie's eyes lit up, full of excitement.

"I felt completely awful after what I said to you last week, and I wish I could take it back, honestly, but I can't. I seriously do want to be friends again, because my life has basically sucked for the past five years, and I could really use a pick me up."

Billie got up, and lifted me out of my seat in a hug.

"I'm so sorry... Sorry for the teasing and harassment.. most of all how stupid and immature I was when you mom passed. I should've known."

"Apology accepted," I mumbled into his neck.

"Friends?" he asked, letting me go.

Was being friends with Billie really what I wanted?

Of course.

My life was a bore, and Billie was a total blast. A newish variable in the mix.

"Definitely," I nodded, and got out two cans of Coke, and a few packs of Poprocks; what a classic. We used to have those, 'How many can you eat/drink without exploding' contests.

"Oh. It's on," he smirked.

I managed to consume three and a half Cokes, along with five packs of different flavoured poprocks. Billie had six of each.

I groaned, rubbing my stomach, "Billie, I don't feel too good."

"Woah. Something must be wrong. Are you dying?" he led me to the couch, and gently pushed me down. He sat, and I rested my head in his lap.

"Why?" I mumbled.

"Because you didn't use my full name," he smiled.

He was right. I hated calling him that, because he wasn't like every other Billy out there. He was Billie Joe. One of a kind.

"Just take a nap. You'll feel better," he smiled, and turned on the TV. He found some made for TV movie, and watched, absent-mindedly playing with my hair until I fell asleep.

[Billie Joe]

'Why?' I asked myself as she lay in my lap. 'Why did she have to be sopretty? Strike that.Gorgeous? No. Beautiful.

I didn't even realize it, but I had been playing with Grace's hair. It was calming just being around her. I glanced down, to see her peacefully asleep, with her mouth barely open, breathing slowly.

I lightly kissed her cheek, then sat upright again, as she shuffled in her sleep.

Probably an hour had passed, and I heard the door open, close, then footsteps, and Grace's brother.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I put my finger to my lips, signaling an obvious 'be quiet' and pointed to Grace.

"That doesn't answer my question," Jeff shot in a low voice.

"She invited me over to apologize for some things she had said last week. I apologized like a hundred times, we agreed to be friends gain, then we had a 'who can outlast the affects of poprocks and Coke' contest," I shot back smugly.

"She didn't forgive you that easily. I don't buy that load of bull."

"What makes you say that?" I hushed my voice, trying to control my rising anger.

"Just look at the insides of her arms," Jeff mumbled, then went upstairs, and I gently lifted Grace's arm, and glanced at it.

There, I noticed a few small, thin, white lines, but none were across the width of her arm.

'Did she do this to herself?' I thought after I took a sharp breath, then tried to control it. No way would I have a panic attack now.

'Just breathe. It's nothing to worry about..' I told myself, even though I knew it wasn't true. I checked her other arm, and didn't see any fresh cuts. These ones all looked a bit old to me.

'Did I really cause her more pain than she's let on about?'

Yet again, I found myself playing with her hair, distracting myself until she woke up.

[Grace]

"Billie?" I murmured, keeping my eyes shut.

"Yeah, Gray?"

"Why are my arms up here near your lap?"

"I dunno. You moved around a lot though."

I yawned, "You're really good at keeping still."

"Uh, thanks," I could tell he was grinning, so I peeked through one eye, and sure enough, he had that amazing smile plastered to his face.

I stretched out, before crossing my arms across my stomach. Billie's wide smile fell, and his eyes were glued to my arms.

"Uhh.. Billie Joe?" He blinked, then moved his gaze up to my face.

"Grace, if I ask you something, you promise you wont get mad, and won't lie to me?"

"Sure, of course. Ask away."

"When and why did you, um, cut?" I suddenly became aware of myself, and sat up.

Avoiding eye contact, I replied, "Freshman and half of sophomore year was really tough. Everything just sort of sank in. New school, no friends, no mother. I had to escape it somehow, and it was only a few times. But I swear to God, I stopped. I haven't in well over two years."

"Not to sound like an ass or anything, but were some because of me?" he asked, gently pulling me to face him, and he stared me right in the eyes, and I couldn't lie.

"Some.. yes. But I'm so much better, and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. I won't say anything else, but thanks for answering honestly."

I smiled, "Hey, it's what friends do."

"I still would've made up some excuse or lie."

"Well, that gives me so much reassurance for the future Beej," I laughed, and he cracked a smile.

"It's good to see you laughing again. Oh! Hey! The guys and I have a gig at a local place tomorrow night, wanna come?"

There was a hopeful gleam in his eyes, but it didn't seem genuine.

"Sorry, I kinda have other plans.."

His head fell.

"But maybe we can catch a movie or lunch earlier?"

"Sure, sounds cool."

"Speaking of cool, I wrote a song, but need music, and I can't find the right sound."

Billie's eyes lit up, for real this time, and opened his mouth to reply.