Walls

(Maige)

I woke to feel like my stomach was full of tar. I felt as if I was going to blow chunks
everywhere.

I quickly opened my eyes and looked around. Fuck.

I had fallen asleep at Alex’s, on his pull out couch, in his sweatpants, with Mr. Gaskarth sitting right there next to me.

Last night Trevor and I broke up.

I found out he was sleeping with some whore. How did I find out? He told me. Why?

Because he knocked her up.

And I broke down right then and there.

What is it about me that makes guys want to cheat on me. Is it something that I do?

Well, Alex was right there when I was about to do something stupid. And he convinced me, though it didn’t take much, to go home with him.

The car ride to his house was silent, with exception of the radio and my sniffling.

When we arrived at the man cave, it looked like shit, but I still loved it. Crumbled papers where everywhere, he had been writing, there were empty pizza boxes upon empty pizza boxes, and there was an indent in the big chair in the corner.

Alex had gone into his room to get me sweat pants and shirt. He came out and threw the clothes on the couch and explain he would heat up his leftovers, get the cookie dough and find Titantic. I just nodded, still not registering that I was here. I went in to the bathroom. I pulled the grey pants and the Kane Hodder shirt. It felt nice to be in his clothes again, to have his scent. But it only made going out there and not kissing him harder.

Pulled myself together, whipped off all my smeared makeup, and texted Jack, letting him know I was staying at a friend’s house, which was kind of true…

When I walked out the door, I felt this weird feeling, of regret and joy. Like I knew I was putting myself in a shitty situation, but I wanted it regardless. I knew why once I saw on the pull out couch with his pajamas on (flannels and a plain white tee, instead of his usual boxers) with cookie dough, the remote, and a big ass smirk.

I climbed onto the mattress and tucked myself under the sheet. I was still sitting up, but I was extremely close to Alex, probably the closest I’ve been since we broke up, with the exception of what happened at the diner.

Without any words, Alex started the movie. He had chosen A Walk to Remember, he was going for my heart strings. Before it even got the sad part, I started to cry. I began to cry because seeing how much Landon care for Jamie, it reminded how much Alex cared for me and I guess still cares for me. I began to sob so hard that I didn’t even noticed Alex pausing the movie and hugging me in comfort.

After I had calmed down, we finished the movie and ate more crap. I continued to eat most his crap food and watched a marathon on TV of Gilmore Girls.

I guess I passed out sometime during that.

After I stumbling out of the bathroom, I saw that Alex wasn’t there. I walked into the kitchen to get some Pepto Bismal for my stomach and I saw him sitting there at his little table with a glass of orange juice and a bowl of cereal.

“How can you eat after all that crap from last night?”

“Honey, you ate all that crap, I didn’t.”

“Oh, so um do you think you could drive me back to my apartment?”

“Yeah, later, I have some errands to run in town. But I don’t have to them till later.”

“Oh, ok, well I don’t want Jack to worry or anything.”

“Well he hasn’t called here in a crazy panic yet so I think we’re good.”

“ok, umm do you have a shirt or something I could borrow?”

“Yeah, just grab one from the draw, you know where everything is.”

I walked over to Alex’s room, it brought back bittersweet memories. Me and Alex used to spend days upon days locked in his apartment that summer before they left for their first tour. We would spend hours in that bed watching tv and doing other activities.

I pulled on my jeans from yesterday and grabbed one of his glamour kills shirts. It was a little, cause me having boobs and all, but whatever. I put on my eyeliner; thankfully I had that with me.

I walk out to the living room, “I’m ready for anything” and I took a deep breath.
(Alex)

I’m surprised we had spent the past two days together and she hadn’t killed me yet.

Last night after Magie came home with me and we watched a sad movie, we went out the next day to the mall. I had errands to run and she didn’t complain.

I just dropped her off at her and Jack’s apartment. I still couldn’t wipe this huge smile off my face. It was nice to just be with Magie for day. We were just us, which hasn’t happened in like two years.

I sudden had a burst of lyrical inspiration:

I admit
I made a few mistakes
We were so caught up in love
We didn't have a chance to come up for air

What a waste
Where does the time go?
Where did our minds go?
I don't know
What's this place?
Where did my heart go?
We'll never know
I'll never know

Those are some of the truest lyrics I have written in awhile. And I’m very proud of them. And with those words written, it only motivates me to get Magie back even more. My birthday is only two weeks away, so I have to really work on this.

And I have the perfect plan.