Walls

(Magie)

I believe I am slowly losing my mind.

I let Alex back in my life. I have no idea why I am doing such a thing.
It probably has to with the fact that the person I thought was my best friend took advantage of me when I was an emotional wreck and then called me a whore the next morning.

I hate that he said that to me.

But I also hate that I know he’s probably right.

Today I was slumping around the apartment with Alex. I didn’t want to leave, in case he was back in town somewhere and with my luck I would run into him. Plus Jack was away the rest of the weekend, and possibly longer, with his girlfriend.

We just sat around watching movies and snacking. We lay on the couch and did nothing.

I wouldn’t let him do anything. Not that he really tried. I respected that.

So half way through 10 Things I Hate About You, I leaned on him. He seemed surprised at first, then put his arm me. I settled down into him, lying down across him after another 10 minutes or so. This didn’t seem to faze him much either. He was laying his hand on my torso under the blanket I had put on top of us, out of lack to put it elsewhere. I grabbed his hands with mine, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smile.

We laid like that for the rest of the movie. We decided to watch another one. Alex had to use the rest room and I was going to pick another one and put it in. I decided that when he got back, I would kiss him, just to see what it feels like, what it should have felt like that night on our date.

I put in X-Men, a movie we had both seen about a million times. I figured if the kissing went well, we wouldn’t feel bad about missing the movie.

The DVD title screen came up just as Alex walked back into the living room. He sat down back in the position he had previously been in and assumed I would just fall back into mine.
But instead I moved closer to him, still sitting up right. He looked at me strangely.

“Are you going to lay down?”

“Well doing that would make what I’m about to do a lot more difficult.” I said with a smirk.

“What are you about to d-"

I cut him off my placing my lips firmly against his. I could tell he was surprised at first. But then he began to kiss me back. It felt so right to be doing this again. Kissing Alex

As we continued kissing, he snaked his arms around my waist and I moved my hands from the sides of his face to his hair. I gave a slight pull on his hair. He made the softest moan against my lips, I smirked and more forcefully pushed my lips against his this time. He began to pull me closer, as he did so, I began to push my tongue into mouth. He welcomed it.

Just as I began to pull us down, with him on top of me, the door bell began to ring. I ignored it at first; enjoying the moment I was in way too much. But it rang again and there was a knock. And it continued for another minute or two.

Alex pulled away and gave me look.

“What? I don’t know who it is”

“Maybe you should go answer it” He said with a cute little smile.

“Alright,” I said getting up and I gave one more peck on the lips “but don’t you move.”

“I would never do such a ridiculous thing.” I heard just as I turned to the door.

I opened to see him standing there, holding flowers in his hands and hope on his face.

“Hello Magie, I came to apologize for my stupidity. I was hoping you would like to come out to dinner with me.” He said in the most adorable voice.

“I would love to do that, but I have company over.” I said staring at my feet.

“Oh really?” he said, looking disappointed. “Well maybe I could just come in for a second?”

“uhh” not that I had a chance to say no, he just walked right into the living room. I closed the door as I rolled my eyes and followed him in.

When I walked into the room, they were both awkwardly staring at each other.

“Um, Alex, you remember Martin, right? I think you guys have toured together at least once or something.”

“Yeah I think I remember that” Alex mumbled out.

Neither of them continued to move.

“Hey, Martin, let me take those flowers and put them in a vase or something.” I said grabbing from his hand.

I walked into the kitchen and began looking for a vase. I was struggling to reach up to the cabinet for it. Then I saw arms reaching above me and grabbing it.

I turned around to see Martin smiling with the vase in his hands.

I grabbed it out of his hands and turned towards the counter again.

“So what the hell is he doing here?”

“That’s none of your fucking business.”

“Hell yeah it is. You’re my best friend, we tell each other everything.”

“You were my best friend. Until about a week ago.”

“Mags, you have to forgive me for that. I didn’t mean it. I was angry at a certain asshole, not you.”

“Well the asshole who you were mad at, I happen to like very much. And he means a lot to me. And if that’s too hard for you to fucking understand, then maybe you should leave.” I said steadily increasing my voice.

“I know he means a lot to you. I just don’t understand why. I mean, hasn’t he hurt you enough?”

“When you love someone like I love or loved Alex, you’re willing to let them hurt them just to be close to them. I don’t care if he does hurt me again, it’s all worth it to be this close with him right now.”

He looked really angry. Like he was about to punch something. He just turned away and stormed out of the apartment. I threw the flowers in the sink and walked out into the living room.

I stomped over the couch and laid down, lying all over Alex.

I stared up at him, he was playing with my hair, attempting to sooth me.

I looked down at me, hope in his eyes.

“So you love me?”

Fuck, he was listening.