Cats + Cute Boys = Confusion

Oh god. There’s a cat stalking me. No, really, it’s true. Don’t look at me like that!! For heaven’s sake, I wouldn’t make something like this up. I have limited imagination capacity as it is. I doubt my brain could give me fully-fledged hallucinations, and therefore, this has to be reality.

Oh dear, that doesn’t make it any better…

Perhaps I’d be better off being insane. No! I’m perfectly sane! Whether I like it or not…

Let me explain. A few days ago, I was walking to school, and this cat was just sitting in the middle of the road. I’ve never been particularly fond of cats, but this one seemed a little dazed. Either that, or it was suicidal, and waiting for the next car. Normally, I would have just left it, but I was feeling a little sick from the lack of breakfast, and I didn’t feel like seeing splatted cat all over the road. So when I saw a huge four-by-four zooming towards it, I decided it was time to act.

Three days later, and I’m fairly sure this cat will never give up following me around. Either it’s in love with me, or waiting to repay its life-debt.

I mean, it’s bad enough not being the object of interest for any of your own species, without having to attract another… Or maybe it’s my fate, and I’m meant to turn out to be cat woman.

I looked around, as I was walking to the park and still hadn’t spotted the cat for today. It was perched on the fence a metre ahead. It certainly seemed like a normal cat – average size, proportions etc. If you can imagine the colour of the black mud you get round puddles and then streak it with grey clouds, that was its coat. I thought it was female, but then again, I was no biologist…

Or Zoologist… whatever you call it.

I sighed, and crossed the road away from the cat. It simply trotted along the fences, a parallel path to myself. I’d tried several things over the past few days. Ignoring it didn’t help, as I’d discovered on the first – it had turned up in my history lesson on the windowsill outside, giving me the shock of my life. I’d screamed in front of the whole class, who’d immediately doubled up with laughter. After attempting to escape to the bathroom, it had been sitting on the toilet seat! It’s enough to put you off ever going to the toilet again.

On the second day, I had decided I should try to scare it. However, its constitution was a little hardier than my loudest ‘Boo!’ and all attempts to sneak up on it were quashed well before I was close enough to poke it.

My one remaining option – to attempt to make it understand my desire for it to go away, would require a less public place. And so I was walking to the park, in order to evade any human gaze, who might ask themselves why this eighteen year old girl was shouting at an innocent cat.

Having reached the park and a secluded area of trees, I turned around to confront my stalker. The cat was sitting nonchalantly on the grass behind me, tail curling and flicking behind it.

“Stop looking at me like that!” I told it, annoyed.

It simply cocked its head to the other side.

“Right, look!” I said, pushing aside the nagging voice in my head, which told me that talking to cats was definitely a sign of insanity, “Stop following me! It’s annoying, and scary, and I’m getting very freaked out!”

It turned around in a circle before lying down.

Right, I thought to myself, if speaking isn’t working, we’ll just have to try telepathy.

Stop stalking me! I thought hard, staring down at the cat, Stop it, stop it, stop it!

It didn’t seem to be working, so I lay down on my stomach in order to be level with the cat.

Stop following me and go away! I yelled.

The cat decided that licking my face would be a good idea.

“What are you doing?” asked a quiet male voice.

Eyes wide, I stood up as fast as was humanly possible.

“What?” I squeaked, shocked.

“Cat’s don’t tend to talk back, you know,” said the angel I was confronted with.

“Right, yeah…” I laughed, blushing bright red.

The cat decided to weave its way through my legs, making me wobble dangerously. The angel reached out and caught my hand before I fell over. I gulped, probably visibly.

Great. My first male human interest and he already thinks I’m an insane cat-girl.

Seemingly annoyed by my close contact with another, the cat jumped into my arms. Letting go of my hand, the boy studied the cat. Given a moment, I studied him. He was only a little taller than myself, currently with an expression of loose curiosity across his pale face and light brown eyes, which was framed with dark blonde hair.

“Is he yours?” he asked, after a moment.

“No,” I replied, “But I thought it was a she?”

“Definitely a boy,” the boy laughed.

An awkward pause ensued.

“So what were you doing?” the boy asked.

I gulped, “Attempting to stop the cat stalking me,” I confessed.

“Stalking you?” he repeated.

“I know I sound insane,” I glared.

“No, not insane… just a little abnormal,” he smiled.

“Well, I was at the end of my tether,” I replied, now annoyed by this perfect boy who thought who could just turn up and interrupt my attempts to persuade the cat to go away, and then laugh about it.

“Has it got a collar?” he asked.

I looked – nothing.

“Nope,” I said.

“Have you advertised it?” he continued.

“Nope,” I replied, “It’s not like it’s lost or anything.”

“Might be, you never know,” he replied, “You should take a picture and make some posters…”

Oh goody. Now I was not only being stalked by an obsessive cat but also lectured to by an extremely cute boy on the proper procedure upon finding a lost pet.

“…If you want any help with that?” he finished.

“Thanks but-” I began.

Hang on, what was I saying?! An insanely cute boy was offering to spend several hours in my company and I’m thinking of turning him down?! I looked down at the cat and, for once in its short stalking duration, thanked its being there.

“Sure, if you want,” I replied, “Er, thanks.”

“No problem,” he smiled, “What’s your name?”

“Catrina,” I said.

“Suits you. I’m Jesse,” he offered a hand to shake.

I struggled to free one hand from the cat and shook it, feeling the static again, without surprise this time, only happy appreciation. We stood there for a moment, myself uneager to detach my hand.

“So how about those posters?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, letting his grip slip from mine.

Okay, so there’s a cat stalking me. And I might just be slightly mentally unstable. But there’s a very cute boy in front of me, who’s ready to spend a few hours in my company… I think this day might turn out a little better than I thought.