More Than Just A Mark On My Sheets

Zack’s POV:

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay back and sleep?” We asked her for the millionth time.
“Jesus, I’m not tired! I slept enough and I want to go!” She exclaimed, smiling.
“Okay, just making sure,” Rian nodded while she bounced Jason on her hip, looking at him while I was staring at her.
Her phone began ringing and I hopped off stage, taking the baby out of her arms. I felt comfortable holding him now. At first I was nervous, but it all just washed away. It felt right to hold him. I still wasn’t totally used to the whole father thing, though. That was still setting in.
“What do you want?” She spoke into the phone as harshly and quietly as she could. “What?” She stopped pacing. “Fuck no! You’re out of your goddamned mind! There’s no way-” She was interrupted.
Alex, Rian, Jack, Matt and I just stopped what we were doing and stared at her, wondering what she was talking about.
“Why would I ever want to talk to them?” She asked. “Oh yes, because they were so good to me when I needed them, Jane,” She said, sarcasm dripping off of every word. “No!” She cried out suddenly, tears forming. I held back from rushing forward and hugging her. “They don’t know where I am, they can’t do that,” She tried to regain her composure. “You know what? Why the hell are you telling me this? Are they too scared to tell me themselves?” She yelled, her voice shaking. Jason was looking up at me, wincing whenever she yelled.
“Don’t call me that,” She growled, her body beginning to shake as she paced back and forth in the same path, over and over again. After a while more of the screaming and yelling into the receiver, she finally hung up, running out of the venue.
“Take him.” I ordered, handing Jason to Matt and taking off after her. “Taylor!” I called loudly, looking around frantically once outside. I spotted her, sitting on the ground, back against a tree trunk. Her face was buried in her knees, her body was shaking and I could hear her muffled sobs.
I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her, getting that warm feeling again. Wow, I’m really becoming a pussy. “Taylor, who was that?”
She didn’t look up, she tried to say something, but I couldn’t understand it. I kept my arms around her while I waited patiently for her to calm herself down. The guys could wait, this was more important than any sound check. After a few minutes, she calmed down. She was still crying, but it had subsided enough so that she could speak clearly.
“It was,” hiccup. “My old aunt Jane,” She looked up.
“Old?” I asked, confused. Her face was red as a tomato, and her make up was running. She still looked stunning. I wiped away some of her tears with my thumb, only to watch more fall. “Do you mean like, age?” She shook her head.
“I guess I should tell you.” She mumbled.
“Tell me what?”
“I was taken away from my parents because they abused me,” She said quietly. My jaw dropped as the silent tears streamed down her face faster. “She was my birthmothers sister. I continued to talk to her because she was a good aunt, and she was the only one-besides the parents I had most of my life-who knew about me getting taken away from my parents,” I don’t know how anybody could abuse such a beautiful girl. It sounds corny, but so true.
“Taylor, I’m-” She cried harder when I said her name and looked up at me, shaking her head at me. “What?” I whispered.
“My name isn’t really Taylor,” She whimpered. “Well, I changed it. My birth name was Victoria, but when I was adopted, I wanted to leave my old life behind, so I changed it. And when my aunt called me Victoria I sort of flipped out,”
“W-what was she calling you for?” I asked, tripping over my words in shock.
“She said my parents wanted to talk to me,” The confused look remained on my face. “Not my birth parents, they’re not allowed to have any contact with me whatsoever.” She reassured me.
“I’m sorry Taylor,” I said sincerely, bringing her closer to me.
“It made me stronger,” She responded, leaning her head against my chest. The moment felt perfect. If only it weren’t so sad.
- - -

“What did you think?” I asked her once we were off stage.
“You guys were really good,” She nodded. I could tell she was still upset about earlier, but didn’t want to talk about it. “Thanks, Matt,” She took Jason out of Matt’s arms. “Sorry I made you hold him all that time,”
Matt rolled his eyes. “You apologize too much. You act like holding a four month-“
“Five months, actually.” She cut him off.
“Five month baby is a big deal.” He chuckled, correcting himself.
“I better go put him to bed,” She said, walking to the back of the bus. I followed her, leaving the conversation Alex and Jack were having.
I made sure I didn’t make a noise while she laid him down and looked around for something. She searched through her bag and pulled out her iPod, blasting Remembering Sunday through her earphones, loud enough for Jason to hear it, but not too loud for his delicate ears.
She stood there and watched over Jason’s crib as he feel asleep, not aware I was standing a few feet behind her, watching her do so.
The song ended and she pulled her iPod earphones out of his crib, setting it back in her open suitcase.
“Why did you play that for him?” I asked, making her jump, and making me smirk.
“How long have you been standing there?” She asked.
“The whole time. You never answered my question,”
“He can’t fall asleep unless I play that song,”
“Since when?”
“I’ve played that for him every night since he was born.” She admitted sheepishly.
“You listened to our music before?” She nodded.
“Just because you knocked me up, doesn’t mean I didn’t still like your music,” She laughed. I began to feel guilty again, but did my best not to let it show. She didn’t like it when I felt guilty for this whole situation. It was hard not too, though, after everything that’s happened to her, how can you not feel bad? Getting pregnant just added to the pile of drama and crap her life was.
“I’m sleeping in your bunk tonight,” She told me. I nodded. I was definitely fine with that.
“You can lie down, I’ll be right there, just gotta talk to the guys,” I told her.
“’Kay, I’ll go shower.” She nodded, heading towards the bathroom and turning the shower water on before shutting and locking the door.
“Hey, Zack?” Alex called my name.
“That’s me,” I retorted, sitting down on the couch and sighing.
“Do you remember what it was like fucking Taylor? Or were you too drunk to remember anything at all?” He asked bluntly.
I do remember. It took a while, but I did. After a few weeks I had finally remembered everything that had happened that night.
I nodded. “What was it like?”
“Amazing,” I admitted.
“I bet it was,” Jack commented. I rolled my eyes.
“Jack has a point. She looks like a good fuck,”
I glared at him. “Don’t talk about her that way, and don’t you even think about trying anything with her.” I growled.
“Zack, chill, I’m not that stupid, I wouldn’t try anything with your future girlfriend,” Alex held his hands up in defense and I realized how stupid I was acting. It was my natural instinct to get offensive whenever somebody threatened to take Taylor away from me, and she wasn’t even mine.
“Sorry,” I shook my head. “And she’s not my future girlfriend, she wont date me. I knocked her up and screwed up her life, remember?”
“You think what you want, Merrick,” Jack scoffed.
The shower water turned off and we started a new conversation about how were going home soon. Taylor came out in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
“I’ll be in there,” She pointed to my bunk and waltzed to the back of the bus.
“Are you guys gonna… you know…” Rian trailed off suggestively.
“Oh, totally. She just had my child five months ago and she wants me to risk knocking her up again Rian. That’s exactly what we’re going to do,” I rolled my eyes.
“Jeez, no need to go all sarcastic on us,” Jack pouted.
“Aw, I still love you Jack,” Alex jumped on top of Jack.
I chuckled and shook my head at them. “Night guys,” I walked towards my bunk, shedding my shirt and throwing it on the floor.
I watched as Taylor smiled at me and scooted over, making room for me in the cramped bunk. I didn’t mind being squished together with Taylor.
“Nighty night, Zack,” Taylor smiled before letting her eyes slide shut.
“Night, Taylor,” I yawned.
Before I fell asleep, I began wishing that Taylor and I were together. That way, we could have a normal family. But that wouldn’t happen.