You Never Learned A God Damned Thing

The sun was glaring down at me as I tried to hide in the shadows of the bushes that were growing near the house where Danielle lived. I was supposed to make sure that Danielle or anyone else wouldn't find out about Billie Joe disappearing somewhere with a girl he'd met after one of the shows at 924 Gilman. I had no idea how should I do that while he didn't worry about anything and didn't even try to hide with his meeting. I crawled under the bushes feeling some of the branches tug on the leg of my baggy jeans, sleeve of my shirt and other resting on my head.

I doubted that Billie meant it like this; to crawl through the bushes and literally stalk his girlfriend to know where she was. I preferred to know what she was up to then come up with an idea how to help out Billie Joe not knowing where he was and then hear him complain to me how useless a friend I was. There was no way, which I knew of, that would help me keep an eye on Danielle and at the same time trying to save Billie when the time came. What if Danielle just went shopping and walked into Billie in some cafe with that girl? Or what if she came up with going to his house and hanging out with him? And what would Mike say? What if she asked me where her boyfriend went? What would I have to say? What if I didn't find the answer or she realized that I was lying and knew the truth about Billie's whereabouts? Maybe that was why he didn't tell me where he went? He knew that I wasn't too creative when it came to anything. Lying was a part of this.

I crawled further into the bushes carefully thinking about my next step. I didn't plan spending the whole day in the grass under someones house, in the mud and cold. I had my life too. Promise was a promise and I did respect that, but then again how far am I supposed to go to keep it?
I crawled out of the grasses and squatting slowly crept towards the house in the direction of the backyard. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Once I spotted a high tree I slowly climbed up. I didn't have the best view, but good enough to know that Danielle was home in her room with her girl friends. I should have just rung the doorbell and hide in the gras... I slid down the tree easily and landed on the ground without any damage.

It was time to socialize.

After an hour I was almost home. My pointless trip to Danielle's house turned out to be a wasted time and as soon as I approached my drive way I spotted Mike sitting on the porch staring off into space. I walked up closer with my hands stuck deep in my pockets and a small smile on my face.

"Mikey." I stopped in front of him as he snapped out of his daydream the moment he heard my voice. "What brings you here?"

"I thought that you might know where Billie is. I guess he wasn't with you, huh?" I bit my lip and shook my head, preferring not to even make up false ideas about where he could be. Lying to Mike would be awful. Lying to the best friend is never a good thing as they find out the truth sooner or later from some unknown sources or either realize all the words were lies. "He should have told me there was no band practise planned for today."

"Yea, he sort of ruined the day, huh?" Mike shrugged and rested his head in the palm of his hand. I sat down next to him and stared ahead at the street. It was always Mike and Billie. They'd go everywhere together, they would tell each other everything. They were best friends and unlike I, they longed for the same thing. I just didn't know what future awaited me and could care less, but they did know and were not the types to abandon their dream once it appeared in their heads. It was odd that I was the one that Billie wanted to know about his little secret and it was clearly irrational to me why Mike didn't know about it. Mike hanging out without Billie and Billie without Mike was a weird and unusual sight. Not only to myself.

We sat on my doorsteps in a peaceful silence, lost in thoughts. I could only guess what would happen when Billie came back. The questions, the explanations, the lies... I hoped I wouldn't be around at that time, though nothing seemed that day as simple as if someone planned things to make them turn against what was expected to turn out good.

"Isn't that Danielle?" Mike asked in a voice surprised, raising from the sitting position. Without thinking he jogged up to her before I managed to even form a reply or think. For a moment I watched them talk, staring wide eyed, feeling the blood draining from my face. I wasn't even trying to be discreet with the staring or didn't try to look indifferent about the whole situation. Perhaps that's what caught Danielle's eyes as well as Mike's after a moment. I looked away as soon as the girl started heading my way with a look on her face that screamed 'you do look suspicious'. Obviously Mike followed her without even hesitating. He could see there was something up. Of the two of them he could guess before Danielle's mind could put the pieces together that I was indeed hiding something.

I rested my chin on my fist and fixed my gaze on the street trying to come up with something believable. Danielle stopped right in front of me, blocking the view. Her eyebrows crossed together when I looked up at her.

"Talk." she said in an ordering manner and I looked at her indifferently and stretched my arms above my head, before glancing sideways at Mike stopping next to Danielle. "Where is Billie Joe?"

"How could I know that? We're not joined by the brain or I'm not a psychic...Mike would know where he is." I shrugged my shoulders and glanced at Mike, whose face looked expressionless though his eyes were watching me carefully. "They're like...married. You know, they're everywhere together and when they're not they know where the other is and so on...I'm more like...a fifth wheel."

"But Mike doesn't know where Billie is." Danielle crossed her arms and her suspicious gaze pierced me once again. I tried to stay as calm as I could and act indifferently just like it didn't bother me or just like I really didn't know where Billie was. The truth was that I really didn't, but I knew what kind of disappearance it was. "I think you do know where he is, Scarlet."

"How could she know that?" I nodded my head, agreeing with Mike. It seemed I agreed to eagerly. Danielle bit her lip as her cat eyes narrowed looking down at me. At this point I decided to get up to be on the same level with her.

"I truly have no idea where he went." I sighed. "I'm not someone he comes to confess about his whereabouts or what's on his mind. Why would he...?"

"Actually..." Mike trailed off and crossed his arms looking down thoughtfully. Danielle looked at him with raised eyebrow. For a moment I thought that he would prove her that I tried to hide something. I sighed and shook my head as Mike looked up with a grin on his face. "I think that he really wouldn't tell you anything."

"Of course he would. She's the drummer in the band, his friend and she hangs out with you." Danielle waved her hands frantically like she was performing some magic tricks. "In other worlds she knows everything."

"Almost." I shrugged my shoulders. "Wherever Billie went it's not my problem." Danielle glared at me and shook her head. I relaxed slightly and smirked. It seemed like I could pull off something...I was still alive.

"What are you smirking about?!" Danielle snapped, pushing my arm a little. I looked at her a little confused.

"Oh, come on, she's smirking all the time." Mike rolled his eyes. "Why don't we go inside?"

"I'm not going in! I want to find Billie now!" she exclaimed clearly frustrated.

"No!" I exclaimed, taking a step towards her with a face panic stricken.

"No?" she looked at me shocked. "So...you do know where he is." she stated clearly surprised and looked at Mike, who looked as surprised as she did. I frowned and bit my lip. Wasn't she...or even Mike suspecting me a while ago? Just like I knew all about Billie's secret date or whatever it was? Or where he went, with who and what for?

"Where's my boyfriend?" Danielle asked, crossing her arms. At least she wasn't screaming or freaking out. I was so sick of that attitude and it seemed that I had the chance to meet only that side of Danielle - the drama queen.

"Um...he...I can't really tell you." Mike smirked and shook his head.

"See?" he elbowed Danielle. "She can't keep secrets. Incapable of lying and keeping secrets." I glared at him and took a deep breath before directing my gaze at Billie's girlfriend, who tried to stay calm and look like nothing happened. I didn't want to know how pissed off she was. To be honest I didn't see the point of being angry at Billie going somewhere. At least not knowing where he went and with who. It seemed harmless and it's exactly as they say: Ignorance is bliss.

"Billie told me something about a...surprise for..." I looked down at the ground trying to collect my chaotic thoughts, which were giving me many ideas of what Billie could be doing, but not really making a good believable tale. I raised my head to meet Mike's blue gaze piercing me. "For Mike!" I grinned, but then my smile fell and I laughed nervously.

"For Mike?" Danielle rolled her eyes. "Why?"

"Uh...Sorry. I, damn, you were right. I can't keep secrets." I looked at Mike before deciding to go with it. "It's an early birthday present! He wanted to make sure that everything was planned out and--"

"It's February." Danielle stated, looking blankly at me.

"And then goes April and May!"

"Before April there's March." Mike chimed in. I glared at him and caught Danielle looking at me disbelievingly at some point amused by how it didn't make sense. Why would Billie even prepare something three months ahead... Seriously... It didn't make sense for me either.

"Well, he---"

"Wait." Mike cut me off. "Don't tell me he went to Larry to make sure if he really meant recording--"

"Exactly!" I exclaimed pointing at him wide eyed. "How do you know that!"

"I know about that too." Danielle snorted. I frowned and crossed my arms. "I guess you didn't..."

"Well," I raised one eyebrow and looked down at my sneakers. "Did he lie to me then?"

"It seems like it." Mike chuckled before putting an arm around me.

I rubbed my head wondering why didn't he tell me that we were recording something. I mean, he would tell me that, right? At this point my lie was believable and I wanted some explanations. Danielle laughed silently and muttered something before going up the steps of my porch to the front door.

"Are you coming or what?" she called over her shoulder. I muttered something about Billie being a horrible liar and with Mike pushing me towards my house I promised myself to somehow thank Mike for saving me from letting Danielle find out the truth. The question was if he did it intentionally or just by accident.

When the darkness fell over the neighborhood, Mike and Danielle were gone and my dad was about to come back anytime soon, I felt really exhausted for some reason, though I didn't do much that day. Sitting with Billie's girlfriend in one room was stressful for me and I found myself carefully selecting the things I would say and avoided my friend's name or anything that could bring him up at any cost. It made me sort of feel sort of uncomfortable while sitting with the two in the same room. Let's say that I was not the best in this kind of things and the guilt caught up with me fast enough to curse every second I started to feel alright with what I agreed to do. I was no saint, but the thing that I hated the most was cheating of any kind when it came to relationships between people. How can you trust anyone if they trick you on every step?

All that I needed was a long shower, which on the most part happened to be cold. Once I left the bathroom with wet hair sticking in every direction wearing boxers and over-sized t-shirt I went straight to my room not even bothering to wait for my dad to come back home or check if everything was okay at home. I didn't even care if the murderer with an axe was hidden behind the door. I was that tired.
Without turning on the light I staggered to my bed and fall on it. The bed let out a groan and a hand caught me around my waist and for the first time in my life I felt like I was about to die and regretted all the times I was so careless!

I jumped out of my bed screaming so loud and long that I was sure the neighbors would come over to check what was it all about or that my throat would simply end it's life and I would never speak again. The silhouette jumped from my bed as well and backed away to the corner of the room. It started screaming. He started screaming. And I tried to find the light switch in the darkness of the room as I backed away to the wall.

The light filled the room and blinded me and my throat began to slightly hurt. I coughed and squinting my eyes looked towards my bed. All I saw was something black, cowered near the bed. Slowly, the black started to look like clothes and the cowered thing--a guy, started to resemble someone I knew too well. He had his arm stretched over his eyes that were furiously blinking.

"Billie..." I blurted out in a voice slightly damaged.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he whispered after a moment when his eyes met mine and I was staring at him with wide eyes. I shook my head and thought how obvious it was that he was here.

"I...no..." I shook my head. "What's wrong with you? How did you get in?"

"The door were open. You said that you won't let me in through the window again." he shrugged his shoulders and laid down on my bed putting one of his hands behind his head. "Nice outfit, but not really scary if that's what you aimed for."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and went to sit on the desk. The thing I hated about Billie? He felt in my room like in his own and it seemed impossible to make him notice the difference between the rooms. It seemed like he didn't care in which room he ended up sometimes from the looks of how frequently he appeared uninvited. At least half of the time Mike was here too. It seemed so much easier when he was around. It was ridiculous how many times I wished that I could see some handsome guy in my room instead of Billie. The guy that I would like. Billie didn't fit the picture very well. Not that I even thought he could... "Could you stop doing this?"

"Doing what?" he asked surprised. "I don't know what you mean."

"Coming here without telling me or whatever..."

"Apologizes!" he exclaimed suddenly as he sat up. "The next time the idea pops in my head I'll gladly send you a letter telling that I'm coming over or should I wait for an invitation?"

"Invitation, huh?" I sighed. "I guess I'll go with this..."

"As you wish...I can't promise I'll remember this." he winked and collapsed on the bed once again.

"And why are you here?"

"I just, you know, came here cause I've hear you really tried to tell Danielle you had no idea where I was and it didn't quite work." I bit my lip not meeting his gaze. Mission not accomplished. "So, Mike told me that you made up some album recording and yeah, we really will do that...one day. And we do have a show next Friday on some party, so--"

"It's all? You were talking with some chick about a gig? And that's why Danielle couldn't know?!" I got off the desk and slowly went in the direction of the bed that Billie was lying on. He shrugged his shoulders as I glared at him.

"That's all you've got to say?!"

"Chill." he said in a careless voice. "She doesn't like any girl around me."

"I guess she's right." I crossed my arms looking down at him. "Shouldn't you bother her right now?"

"Shouldn't you dream about pony's and Prince Charming?" I looked at him annoyed and went over to the window. "Are you throwing me out?" Billie sat up looking at me with raised eyebrows. I rolled my eyed and turned my back on the window and leaned on it.

"It was the first and last time I did something like this for you, Billie."

"I know." he smiled.

"I mean it." I gave him a serious glance. "I don't like lying to your girlfriend that you're doing something else while you're with some girl doing...I don't want to know what, but that's obviously nothing right." he rolled his eyes and resembled a child being screamed at. "I won't do that. It's just that...I wouldn't like that happen to me."

"Like it would happen to you." he snorted and when he realized what he'd said his eyes widened and he chuckled like he said a good joke. I shook my head and looked down sort of getting the meaning of the words. When I thought about it what he said made sense and it kind of stung, "Um...you know, I've got to go. I forgot to do something. Night." He quickly got up and went out of the room and down the stairs from where he came. I should remember about locking the door next time. What if it wasn't Billie, but the guy with an axe?

I shook my head and walked over to my bed and collapsed on it, wrapping the comforter around me, smiling at the heat that was radiating from it. I guess that I deserved something more then thanks from Billie after what I've went through. Mike sure as hell found out and Danielle still lived in her dream of a boyfriend in a band that wrote songs about her. And I was still the same Al. The next day it would be still the same...and then again and again. It seemed like everything was never meant to be changed and I was damned to never feel what it is like to be in love. Why would I even think I knew what was it like to be lied to in Danielle's situation? I sure as hell didn't want to be a part of this. I had a problem. What if I told her? What if she knew that Billie was somewhere with some girl?