Be a Man

It was now September, and Hailey wouldn’t cease with her interrogations. I even caught her questioning Austin. Austin, for Pete’s sake. I let it fly, mainly because he was distancing himself from me - meaning, Austin only said hi or asked me out every other day, now. I tried to think what I’d said or done that would make him do that, and it hadn’t hit me until this morning as I was taking my shower.

The ‘Wendy Neff’ conversation. That had to be it. Did he put two and two together and realize that I had viewed him as a male version of Wendy for the past few months?!

And another thing - where were the ‘Hey, babe’ and ‘What’s up, Anna?’s that I had become accustomed to? Used to? The hey’s and what’s up’s that I now missed, although I would never admit it out loud? Where was the childish, immature Austin I’d grown to hate, but then to tolerate once more? Where was my Austin, the one who hit on me daily, sometimes upwards of fifty times a week? Where was the annoying but persistent boy - man? - that had bugged me without fail since day one?

Where was my Austin?

I could’ve killed myself for those thoughts, but it’s all that ran through my head as I lay on my bed to try to concentrate on my book report. It was a Saturday now, and I was staring blankly at the wall with a pen in my hand. The book report lay forgotten, obviously. Then I decided that I, the unchangeable me, had some serious changing to do. But for every change needed, there was a problem in the way.

Change 1: I must continue to hate Austin.

Problem: I’m not sure I ever really hated him.

Change 2: I would try my hardest to ignore Austin.

Problem: Hadn’t I already done that?

Change 3: Austin would not cross my mind more than necessary.

Problem: Too late.

And there were many other things like this. Hailey would have an I told you so attitude, and Brandon might just get fired when I admit that His Clingy-ness has actually grown on me.

I groaned, still thinking about this nearing suppertime, and went downstairs for a snack.

“There you are, Anna!” Mom said brightly. “I was just about to go get you! We’re all going for supper with the Prestons in a half hour, so why don’t you get ready? It’s at a fairly fancy place, so why don’t you wear the nice dress that Christy got you for your birthday?”

I thought about it, realizing that this missing the bane of my existence thing could worsen if I didn’t go, so I just relented and said, “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Good! Be ready soon, then!”

“Sure thing, Mom.”

The dress Christy had bought really wasn’t that bad. It was just above the knees, a beautiful emerald green with a lace-up back and it was strapless. I put it on, along with some heels that matched - Mom had bought these after seeing the dress - and made my way carefully downstairs when I had done my hair.

“Let’s go, now!” Mom said, spotting me. “We’ll be there just a few minutes early!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm, and we left the house.

We got to the restaurant about ten minutes early, and we went in to the reserved tables we had. Yes, tables. A table for four, and a table for two. How many guesses would it take to figure out which two get the table to themselves.

“You’re going to be at this one,” Mom said as our waiter showed us to the tables. Mom indicated the two person table, a good four feet from theirs. “You and Austin haven’t been talking much lately, so we decided we’d give you time to catch up.”

Lately, as in, the last year, or had Mom even noticed that we had had an even larger falling-out over the last few weeks? And the bad thing, I can’t believe I’m admitting it to myself, even…but I am actually kind of grateful for what they’ve done. The whole, table to myself with Austin. I hoped that we could retrieve some sense of what I’d come to believe was normalcy. I really, sincerely hoped that we could go back to normal.

Like anything that had to do with Austin could be normal, but still.

So, I said waiting like a good girl, sipping at my water, until the Preston family walked into the restaurant. I spotted Austin, looking just as haphazardly handsome as always, and I wished with all my heart that he would grow up. After all, that was our deal, right? If he grew up and acted like the man he should already be, I would give him a chance. I would give him the chance that I never wanted to give him. Or did I want to give him this one, tiny chance to prove himself? Maybe he has grown up.

I can’t be liking Austin Preston now, can I?!

Well, like I’ve already said, I’m going to kick myself for it, too…

I want my Austin back.

The teasing, cocky, arrogant jerk he could sometimes be. All the same, I wanted him back. I didn’t like this strange, alien creature that had replaced him…it was just too different from the Austin I’ve known for over a year.

Too different from my Austin.