Be a Man

After Austin walked away, I stared after him. And stared, until Brandon said something to me.

“I…I have to go.” I stood up abruptly. “I don’t feel so well.”

I left the cafeteria immediately, rushing in between tables and barely making it out to the hall before I bolted for the bathroom with tears starting to come out. I couldn’t help it - I finally realize what feelings I have for him, and he thinks I’m moving to someone else.

The hurt in his eyes killed me. It really did.

“You’re so stupid, Anna,” I cursed myself. “You’re such an idiot.” I leaned over one of the sinks, staring at my reddening eyes in the mirror (this was all after I’d made sure no one else was in here, of course).

“Anna?” I heard from the door to the bathroom, “Are you in there?”

It was Hailey’s voice but, frankly, I didn’t want to talk to her right now. I didn’t want to talk to anyone but Austin, but that was kind of impossible the way I was acting. And I couldn’t face him after seeing that look in his eyes.

In the hope that Hailey wouldn’t come in, I stayed silent, taking a few steps back, into a stall, so that if Hailey opened the door and looked in she wouldn’t see my reflection or hear me. But then I had to take an extra measure and climb up on the toilet seat, because I heard her come in. I was sincerely thankful that I had backed into the stall that had been out of order for months, so no one would think much of it if it was closed and locked.

She didn’t think much of it, sighed, and left the bathroom. I sighed softly and hopped off the toilet, leaving the stall just as the bell to signal the end of independent study (time taken aside for those who have D’s or F’s) and I knew the cafeteria was about to gain a hundred or more people. This also meant that the bathroom would get a few more visitors. I groaned softly and wiped my cheeks before walking out and walking out into the freezing little patio. I sat at one of the picnic tables, shivering slightly.

“Stupid,” I muttered to myself. “You can’t just tell him how you feel and get it all over with. No. You have to talk to Brandon and Hails about it in the middle of the school day and let him overhear. And then he thinks you’re in love with some other person and walks away. Smart move, Anna, smart move.”

I groaned, laying my head down on the (did I mention freezing cold?) table. After five or so minutes of this, I mumbled to myself, “Why do I have to be so effing stupid?”

“ ‘Effing’, eh?” I jumped about six inches in the air at this and whirled around. “I didn’t think you’d be the type to…avoid saying a word outright. You always seem quite outspoken, y’know?”

“What do you care?” I mumbled, slapping myself inwardly.

“If you must know, I recall being slapped pretty hard across the face by the person I‘m currently talking to,” Thomas sat down, “and I’m not quite over that yet.”

It was here that I kind of scooted away. I didn’t like the tone of voice he used.

“It’s not my fault you were talking about me as if I was a possession or something,” I retorted, a bit snappishly. “If you hadn’t have been, I wouldn’t have felt the need to stop you from beating Austin to a freaking bloody mess of flesh and splintered bones. Now, if you don’t mind, I was trying to think about something and you so rudely interrupted me.”

I am officially one of the absolute stupidest people in the world, as I had been telling myself since Austin walked away. I knew that even more now that Thomas was fuming.

“Are you quite finished being rude?” Thomas forced out with a noticeably fake smile. “I would like to ask you something.”

“I’m only rude because I. Don’t. Like. You.” I stated slowly and clearly. “But ask away.”

“Why don’t you go to the movies with me on Friday?”

I snorted, then burst out laughing. “Me? Movies? With you? Hon, if that’s what you wanted, you’ve gone about getting it the wrong way. And anyway, there’s someone else I’ve got my sights set on, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish thinking about how ask him out.” I stood abruptly. “I fear I must bid you adieu,” this last was in the most dramatic tone I could muster.

A hand went around my wrist. It was unlike when Austin stopped me before school - this time it hurt, and made me fall back onto the bench.

“Ouch!” I yelled as my backside hit my just emptied spot once more. “What the hell?!”

“I asked you on a date,” Thomas said, his fingers clenching harder. I grit my teeth.

“And I refused,” I replied.

“Refusal is not an option here, Anna,” he hissed. “I don’t give a damn if there’s another dumbass you like. No one else is going to get you. Preston, the dumb idiot, can’t even get you, and he’s tried for over a year.”

“I’d rather have him than you,” I retorted, anger rising.

“So then, you’d rather have no one,” Thomas smirked rudely, “because nothing gets better than this.” he indicated himself, to which I snorted and twisted my wrist futilely, in an attempt to pull away.

“I was mistaken about Austin. He’s not the most annoying, arrogant, jerk-off in the world, y’know?” I glared at Thomas. “You are.”

It wasn’t a smart thing to say, because he just glared back, gripped my wrist harder, and slightly twisted it. I flinched, but didn’t say anything.

“Think you’re funny?” he sneered. “You’re going on a date with me, this Friday. That’s it.”

“I will not go out with an arrogant prick like you,” I gave one final wrench, and actually managed to pull my arm away…not without a little bit of pain, however. I hissed in annoyance, but jumped up and out of his reach.

“You will, Anna,” he stood up so quickly I hardly noticed and just barely had time to jump back. The bell rang, and he looked at the school with disgust. I shivered when he walked by and said, “We’ll talk about this later.”

We wouldn’t, actually, though. Someone had started a very public fight with him right in front of the doors after school. On the inside, but still in the way of Hailey and I getting to my truck.

Just like the first time, though, it was before the actual fight. And just like the first time, Thomas threw the first punch. However, the teachers on duty didn’t notice and Hailey, a bit angry, shoved her way to Thomas and pushed him away from Austin. Yes, Austin. And I went to Austin, a bit miffed, and angry, and who knows what else, but thankful that he wasn’t getting his ass kicked.

“Anna,” I heard behind me as I propelled Austin to the doors with Hailey, who had totally screamed at Thomas (I had told her about the incident at lunch) and would have thrown some punches and slaps of her own at him were it not for Brandon’s timely arrival. I turned and glared at Thomas, who continued, “We still have a talk to finish.”

“Thomas,” I said straight-out, “I want nothing to do with you. You think you can get everything you want in life just because you want it, be it cars, money, or women, but that’s not true. It’s about time you learned that - starting with me. Besides, I already told you, I’ve got someone I’m going to ask out. If you don’t mind, just don’t talk to me anymore. Or look at me.”

“Don’t walk away--” Thomas couldn’t finish because of Hailey. Again.

“HEY!” she looked him in the eye. “I told you to leave her alone. You’re not gonna fuck with my girl just because you want to get in her pants, just to say you can get the one thing that he can’t!” The ‘he’ she was referring to was Austin, clearly indicated when she gestured at him. “So just lay the fuck off!”

Surprisingly, the only person who got in trouble was Thomas, when Hailey kept yelling and Mr. Burns came over and she promptly said that he’d been harassing me all day. Then she turned around and we walked out, ignoring Thomas yelling and Mr. Burns asking us to come back. Finally he just yelled, “I’ll talk to you three in the morning!”

And also, just as surprising, I managed to calm Austin down, waiting by his car. I calmed him down enough I felt like asking what the almost fight was about.

So I did.

It started out, “Austin?”

“What?” it was kind of snappish, but I wasn’t angry at him.

“What was that about?” I asked, straight-up, a no-nonsense tone to my voice.

“You told him no at lunch. He wouldn’t listen, and he was harassing you. I couldn’t ever get a chance at being your knight in shining armor if I didn’t at least try to kick his ass.”

I sighed, patted him on the shoulder, and said, “Forget it. Don’t do anything rash, or stupid. It’s done with, if Hails has anything to say about it. Go home. Drive safe. Take…take a nap, or something, and I’ll see you in Mr. Burns’ room tomorrow for his little chat.”

He stared after me, not just watching me leave, but watching me leave. As in, his mouth kind of dropped in an oh-my-gosh-she’s-not-trying-to-bite-my-head-off-and-she’s-actually-being-nice look.

I didn’t notice.