Simple Enough

Inside, it was near silent. The rain had let up a little, but I could still hear it pounding the old roof. I had changed out of my wet clothes, into a pair of gym shorts I had left here months ago. It was hard to distract myself from the quiet sniffles coming from the girl sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. I went into the kitchen and put some water on to boil so that I could make her some tea. Anything to calm her.

“Sophie?” I called out, and she appeared a few moments later, wiping her eyes, “I’m making some tea. Want some?“ I hadn’t waited for her answer. I was already preparing two cups worth, because I knew she would say yes. I let the bags steep for a good two minutes until the water had turned to a nice honey brown, and removed the tea bags. I lifted the mugs, and when I turned, Sophie was standing right in front of me, worrying her pointer finger between her teeth. It was something she did when she was nervous, and it was the kind of gesture that really pronounce how unbearably adorable she was. I still didn’t know what had upset her, and I hoped she would tell me soon, or I would have to ask.

I could see the emotional battle she was waging, before she sighed and raised her sorrow-filled gaze to mine. I thought she was going to cry again, but when she spoke, her voice was even, though it was quiet. She had a new sense of resolve, it seemed, and I felt as though she would shed no more tears for whatever she had cried for earlier. I handed her the mug, and we went back to the living room and sat down. She sat on couch like she had before, and I sat in the chair across from her so that I could give her my attention.

“I tried to call you days ago, but your phone must have been turned off. You’re a hard man to reach,” she smiled without humor, before continuing, “Mom had been real sick for a few months. You remember. She went to the hospital last Wednesday.”

She fell silent again for a long time, and I waited, sipping my hot tea and looking at her with understanding eyes. I could almost hear where this was going, but I wasn’t one to assume, so I waited. The drink was a little bit too bland for me, but I drank it anyway. It gave me something to do, so I wouldn’t get nervous or jumpy about the news I was about to get.

“She passed away last night.” Her words were so soft, that I almost missed them. She was staring at the steaming liquid in the mug she held between her hands, her eyes blank. I swallowed hard, suddenly wishing that I was sitting next to her, instead of on the other side of the small, antique coffee table. I set my mug down on a coaster and walked around so I stood next to her, taking her drink from her hands and setting it with mine.

She looked at me, her smooth, alabaster brow wrinkled with pain. When I took too long to sit down, Sophie took my hand and tugged, beckoning me down next to her. After I sat, she moved carefully onto my lap so that she faced me, and her legs were around my waist. Her soft hands rested on my bare shoulders, and she stared into my eyes with an unwavering gaze. It was unique to Sophie; nobody could force me to hold eye contact like her. I normally started to feel awkward almost immediately, but not with her. Not that I minded; I mean, I could look at the calm waters of her eyes for days.

After a few long moments of just looking at each other, she smiled. It had been two months since I’d seen this girl, and a few hours longer since I’ve seen her smile. It brought a sense of great relief, and I smiled back easily.

“You can be a real jerk, you know that?” there was an undertone of laughter in her voice, and she smacked my arm gently.

“I know that,” I nodded, and she rolled her eyes, brushing her bangs to the side. Clearly we were going to put the solemn subject of loss behind us, which was fine with me. I was ready to enjoy Sophie, and everything about her.

“You called me what, once a day? Did you think that was going to be enough or something?” she raised her eyebrows, and I laughed, shaking my head lightly, “God, when you didn’t call for those last four days, I thought you might have died. I was worried.”

“Nate threw my phone out the bus window. I have to get a new one,” I told her, and she laughed openly now, letting her head drop back and bringing her hands up to cover her face. I loved watching her. Every move she made was interesting. She’s been a dancer since we were young, so she had an air of grace about her, even with her simplest actions.

When she brought her face back down and looked at me, her eyes were bright again. It amazed me how she could suppress her sadness so entirely, and so quickly, but it worried me too. This was a big deal, and I didn’t want her to have to go through it alone. But I let it be, for now.

“He would do that. Where are they all? Are they home too?” she asked, looping her arms around my neck and locking her fingers together, forming a sort of vice to keep me close. I nodded.

“They’re visiting their families. We’re all pretty homesick,“ I shrugged, and she smiled small.

“How come you’re not visiting your family?” she asked, and I looked at her seriously for a moment.

“I am, Soph,” I broke out into a grin, and she sighed. That didn’t make her happy.

“You didn’t even go say hi to your parents? Or David? Or your little sister?” her voice showed that she was upset about this, but I couldn’t understand why. I thought for sure that she would appreciate that I put her first. I guess not though.

“Well no, not yet. I was gonna bring you with me,” I reasoned.

She was quiet for a long time, before sighing and rubbing her eyes.

“I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. Forgive me?” she offered me a small smile, and I returned it, snaking my arms around her waist and pulling her closer to me. I wanted the distance between us gone, and apparently so did she, because she wiggled closer until she could go no further. Her face was inches from mine, and I could feel her warm breath pass over my skin when she whispered “I’ll take that as a yes. Couldn‘t you find a shirt? They‘re all over my room.”

She passed her fingers up my arms and over my bare back, causing me to shiver before I answered, “To be honest, I didn’t really look.”

Sophie tilted her head slightly to the side and thought about that for a moment.

“Fine by me,” she grinned, leaning into me.

When our lips met this time, it was much more heated. She kissed me long and deep, her hands holding my face to hers so I couldn’t move away, even if I wanted to. My hands remained on that gentle arc in her lower back, doing essentially the same thing she was. It was clear that we had both missed each other more than words could explain, so we let our bodies do the talking.

With Sophie here in my arms, her lips moving hastily against mine, it was hard to imagine being without her. How I stayed away for two months without going absolutely insane, I’ll never know. But I do know that I’ll never get used to her. This girl is going to continue to surprise me, until the very end. People ask me if it’s worth it, to be so compromising for this girl, or to not know what she was going to do from one moment to the next, and I always answer them in the same way.

I’m in love. It‘s the only thing I see, the only thing I know. So of course it‘s worth it. It‘s always worth it.