Fall Asleep with the Windows Open

Slowly my eyes drifted open. Billie's sleeping figure was lying next to mine. All the things came rushing back from last night, as one cold slap in the face. The phone rang next to his head and he sat up.
"Hello?" he whispered.
"Yeah, hold on." Did he think I was still sleeping? Obviously because he went into the hallway. I could hear him clearly talking to Tre, saying he would meet him later on in the day. When he came back in he smiled noticing I was now up.
"Hey."
"Morning." He laid down next to me and listened while the rain drizzled on his roof. I rolled out of bed and went to see Joey, this kid is to adorable.

"Good Morning, Joey." I cooed at the baby in his crib. He just smiled back at me and laughed.
"Billie!" I shrieked. He was standing behind me, and scared the shit out of me once I got to the door. He just chuckled lightly.
"Shut up."I smiled. I tried to go back to his room but was quickly spun around to face him, and pulled into a kiss. Working our way back to the bed.

Between a kiss he muttered, "I love you." And I stopped immediately.
"What do you want me to say back to that Billie?" I whispered, guilt washing over me as soon as I saw the hurt flash in his eyes. I ran my hand over his hair one more time and stood up going downstairs to the kitchen. Yeah smooth move genius.

How does this man not have bread? We went shopping and he didnt feel the need to purchase bread. Fine. Stupid eggs with no toast or anything. There goes breakfast. I saw Billie enter the room out of the corner of my eye.
"What are you doing?"
"Running a triathlon...Im making breakfast. Why did you not get bread yesterday can I ask?"
He shrugged,"I dont know. Didnt think about it."
After finding milk, we settled on cereal."So when are you leaving?" He asked.
"Ah, want me gone already do ya."
He shook his head murmuring,"Dont, want you to go at all." Why is he doing this to me.
"I mean, when are me and Joey gonna be bored?Why dont you stay and hang with me and the kid." His bottom lip quivered as he pushed it out, making me laugh.
"No, I'll probably leave soon."
"Come, on you dont have anything to do today...at least anything that should come before me." He smirked.
It came out before I could thoroughly think it through,"But if I stay here we'll probably end up-" To late. By the time I caught it he knew how I was going to end that sentence.
"Ya- ya know, I'll just leave now." I dumped my bowl in his sink and went to leave, him following closely behind me.

"Reiley," he sighed, "Come on. Why are you so nervous around me."
Again my tongue obeyed my thoughts before my heart could interfere, "Because It will ruin what I have with Jared. Im working on moving on, last night shouldnt have happened."
This time it wasnt just his eyes showing pain, but he winced. God, why was I hurting him so much all of the sudden!?
"Im, uhm, im sorry Ry. I should have backed off."
"Billie dont be like this, please." He always pulls me back in. I dont know what exactly he has on me but it works to his advantage. Oh yeah I remember what he has now...my fucking heart.
His eyes were glued to the floor, glazed over in shock and pain."Bye Billie. I'll talk to you later."
He didnt answer so I left, shutting the door behind me.Damn it. What the hell is wrong with me? I love Jared...I do. So why am I here.

*

Two weeks later

On top of the god damn show Jared is shooting a movie. Meanwhile Im living in his house and hes never fucking here. The phone rang in the kitchen...of course, I was in the bathroom having a breakdown. Why wouldnt someone call now?
"Hello?" I asked sniffling.
"Hey,come stay over." Billie. We hadnt talked about the entire event that had happened. Not what was said, or done.
"Bill, not tonight."
"Aw, why?" He whined like a toddler about to throw a tantrum.
I sighed. I really didnt plan on doing anything I just didnt want anything to accidentally happen again.
Finally I gave in after listening to a thousand 'please's.
"Fine. Alright, but what are you going to do when I actually have to work?"
"Uhm...come with you of course!" i laughed a little.
"Okay, I'll be there in two minutes." Then we hung up.

"Any specific reason why I had to come and stay over?" I asked as I entered the house.
I heard him laugh, following it, finding him in the kitchen. "Nah, just bored and wanted to hang out."
I plopped onto his couch. "Your a bad rock star. Why arent you...fucking groupies and breaking shit. Or doing coke?"
He laughed walking over to me and kneeling down in front of where I sat.
"Well, breaking shit is always fun but more of Tre's thing. Doing coke...nah, lets leave that to Keith Richards. And the groupies...I would rather spend time with you. Shit face." He grinned.
"Ass head."
"Whore."
"Do you have Joey?"
He laughed, "First of all I win, and no. Adrienne has him."
"Then we should go out with Mike and Tre." With a lopsided smile he agreed. Maybe being out with other people will prevent anything from going on like last time.

"Ugh...stupid creeky door." I whined into my pillow now awake. Wait. God fucking damn it. Im in Billies room. Mike walked in laughing, as he opened the blinds.
"No light!" My head was throbbing.This definitely gets the award for worst hangover I have ever had.
"Mike what- Ow!" I attempted sitting up...I dont have to explain how this hurt my head.
Something was wrong. But I couldnt- shit I figured it out. I know these clothes...and they arent mine. red plaid lounge pants and the Ramones shirt was all to familiar to me. Billies clothes.My hair was damp and it was still drizzling outside like it had been for weeks.
"Mike what happened last night?" The door creaked again only this time Billie appeared and sat down next to Mike and me on the bed.
"Congrats Ry. You drank me under the fucking table." I gagged at the thought of drinking.
"Did I sleep in here?" He nodded.
"Did you?" He smiled and shook his head.
"No, I changed you out of your puke and rain covered clothes and let you sleep here. I took a guest room." Thank God.
"Oh...thank you Bill."
"No problem." He whispered.

Later that day I went home. Shocked to see Jareds car in the driveway.
"Where in the hell were you?" He asked frustrated.
I couldnt tell him I was with Billie. "I uh, stayed at Danas."
He nodded. "Oh, well. I have a proposition for you. How bout we move to L.A.? You would get more opportunities to act and be close to me while I film."
I smiled with some courage. "Sounds great. When though?"
"Well, since I bought the house already we can move next week some time."
I swallowed the words trying to surface...why did he already have a house there? Instead of causing a fight I just nodded and smiled. When he went up to shower I called Billie in a panic.

"Hello?"
"Hey Bill." I could hear the smile in his voice which for some reason was un nerving at the time.
"Whats up?"
"Uhm, when I came home guess who was here...Jared."
"Oh." He couldnt think of anything else to say?
"Yeah and uhm...he- he wants to...move to L.A."
I couldnt believe the first words that come out of his mouth,"Well what are you going to do if you break up?"
"I dont know. Im sure Dana would let me take her place in Bakersfield."
"Or...you could uhm, always stay at my place. There are three guest rooms that are sitting empty anyw-" I heard a baby cry.
"Shh, Joey, its okay. Uhm, Im just saying. The offer will always be there for you."
I smiled, not only at the offer but at how he was with his son."Okay. I gotta go. Jared is coming back downstairs."
"Wait, when are you moving?"
"Next week." I heard a muffled shit.
"Okay, now I gotta go."
"Alright Bye." And I hung up.

December 15th 1995
Moving Day

The final things were being loaded into a van and I am in total awe. I cant believe Im doing this. They'll be busy anyway...recording the new cd. So dont even regret this because of Billie...er the guys. Yeah all of them. Speak of the devil. Billie pulled into my driveway holding a box.
"Merry early Christmas." I rolled my neck smiling.
"Damn it Billie. Why? I didnt get you anything." He smirked.
"You never have to get me anything. Ever. So just take it and open it when I leave."
I tried to argue but he just shoved the box into my hands further and hugged me.
He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "Dont worry about it. I didnt even have to shop."
When he was pulling away it felt like someone had punched me in the gut leaving me winded.
"Im, gonna go so...dont even think about not calling me." He grinned and winked.
"Alright. Bye Billie." I put down the box and pulled him into a hug again. I squeezed him not wanting to let go. I have no idea what was going on. I just felt like holding onto him.
"Bye Ry." He squeezed back and I let go. And he walked back to his car.
He wasnt hardly out of the driveway when I opened the box. A card fell at my feet. A picture of us on the first day of second grade was inside. The card read:

Reiley,
These are some tapes and a picture my mom gave to me of us. I had to add something to it to of course. Ha ha I win. I'm gonna miss you being right down the street. You better buy the new cd when it comes out. Merry Christmas.
Love
Billie.

Next to the tape was a little green box. I popped the top open to reveal an amazing diamond bracelet. Damn that man! I told him no and- oh fuck it I love it. A tear slid out of my eye as I placed everything back into the box. I quickly whipped the tear stain away when I heard the front door shut behind me.
"Ready to go?" I nodded and got into the car with Jared.

I had no clue why I was so emotional about the gift, but it made me week in the knees. Why did I all of the sudden want to hijack the car from Jared and drive to Billie's house, and hold onto him?

A/N:
Since school is starting I will only get to update twice a week most of the time.Look for updates on Fridays and Saturdays. If I can I will update as much as I can. Sry. :(

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