Fall Asleep with the Windows Open

The words were being repeated over and over in my head...hes gone. Sorry Reiley hes gone. Your husband is gone. I shuddered.
"Shut up." I whispered to myself, hoping it would make the voices stop.
"What?" Billie asked coming over to sit on the bed with me.
I didn't respond, I just flung myself into his arms as quickly as I could. Once I was there the tears came easier, I hadn't even noticed the other people come into the room.

Billie shushed me and stroked my hair gently.
"Why did I have to be so stupid. Maybe things would be better if...if I had..." Billie furred his eyebrows.
"What are you saying?" His voice wasn't soft anymore. For some reason I think that hurt him.
"I don't know. Billie I'm just talking...I wish I could have taken his place. He was so good. People loved him. He didn't hurt anyone. He-"
"Reiley! Snap out of it." I hadn't realized it but I had started shaking in his arms.
"He was a better person."
Billie sighed, frustrated. "Your a good person too. People love you Reiley...I love you." the last part falling off silently.

We sat there all night. People came into the room but Billie just told them I needed time. Dominic's brother Paul came and actually argued with him. Asking him why he was the only one who could talk to me, and that there were a couple dozen people wanting to see me...Billie just pushed him out of the room.

One week later

The funeral was miserable. Towards the end his family started fighting with each other over Dom's decision to leave everything to me. I didn't want it. I would rather have him...so I gave them the business rights and the house in Italy. I planned on selling the house in L.A. and downsizing to a place at home. In Oakland.

I don't think I would have gotten through any of it without Billie there. He refused to leave my side, and even though I argued on the outside, I was grateful on the inside. When we got home after that week I was mobbed by my family and friends all wanting to know what they could do for me. The answer was always nothing. I already had someone watching me like a hawk.

I was laying on my bed at my parents house when the doorbell rang. I heard my mom answer it.
"Oh, hello Billie." It had a tint of hate in it...and I cant imagine why.
"Hi Mrs. Davis." Pleasant towards her, as usual.
"Glad to see you learned how to use a door to get into someones house." Wait, how did she know about that.
"What?"
"Oh I'm not as stupid as you think. Do you honestly think I never checked on my daughters sleeping...and caught a glimpse of you in there more than once...or her not there at all. Just the window open. Not that complicated." She sighed and I assume pointed to the stairs cause I heard a knock on my door frame shortly after.
"Can I come in?" He asked lowly. I grunted and he got the point.
"We were so close, ya know. Its just not fair...we were almost there. Now I have a stupid puffy dress in my closet." I grimaced.
He laid down next to me and rubbed his thumb over my back. Its now become a normal routine for him to do this.
"If anyone truly deserved a happy ending it was you, Ry."
We sat in silence until my stomach grumbled. It had been doing that alot, since I couldn't eat.
"You need food." He went to get up but I just yanked his arm back down.
"No I don't." He rolled his eyes still tugging to get away.
"I'm not gonna let you just waste away Reiley. Your still living and I plan on keeping it that way."
"You cant be here twenty four seven, Billie. Something could happen." I sneered.
"Your being ridiculous!"
"Just get out Billie! You don't need to watch me...nothing interesting is going to happen trust me. Just leave. Its actually starting to crush me, how your around so much. I need to be ALONE!"
He winced at the words I spat at him, but I was to angry to care. So I turned my back on him and heard my door shut silently behind him. The rest of the night was spent dousing my pillow in tears. Both mournful and angry.

"It should have been me." I cried.
"It should have been me." I kept repeating them until I basically fainted form lack of hydration and nutrition.

That night I dreamed that Dominic was still alive, but I never got to see Billie again. No matter how hard I searched, he had disappeared.
It made me wonder...what was my subconscious mind trying to tell me?

cmnts<3