Shadows in the Night

It could take a lot of arm twisting for him to admit it, but those who knew Billie Joe well knew he was a hopeless romantic. Though not unrealistic, he lived for tender moments with his husband. Like cuddles and emotional spooning after making love in the dead of night, sweet nothings in the ear, and terms of endearment left and right. Those were some of his favorite things about his relationship with Mike. But since that awful day that he silently discovered his Mike snuffing powder with another man, most of his favorite things didn't exist anymore.

Billie had several failed relationships under his belt. He tended to give his all to a person, but the person he yielded himself so completely to did not usually reciprocate such passion. Cheating boyfriends, physical abuse, and hateful words had filled the apartments shared with lover's past. It would go on and on until poor Billie would finally reach his breaking point. Either that, or his boyfriend of choice would cut him loose before he got the chance.

But Mike had been different. When they began dating, Mike was something special. They had been friends for years beforehand, which helped in many ways, but the man's heart was so big and sweet. He had all but smothered Billie Joe with the love he deserved, and he took care of him. It had ultimately led to the day of their wedding, and as Billie had stared out at the sun rising above the ocean that surrounded their hotel room that was their honeymoon suite, it in turn also felt like the rising of his life. New life, new love, new hope.

As things unfolded, though. . . Mike was looking less and less like Prince Charming.

The thing was, Billie Joe could see that Mike's extraordinary heart hadn't really shrunk. Although it sped from the influence of cocaine that he wasn't supposed to be inhaling (and perhaps the orgasm that was courtesy of someone else) it was obvious he still loved him. He could read the man like a book, and when he saw those eyes as his lips declared his love each day, there was nothing but sincerity inside of them. And Billie Joe penetrated deep in search of lies.

Maybe Billie could salvage what they had, before their ship hit rock bottom.

"Dad - Dad, Billie, check this out - are you watching?"

"Of course we are, Hero!" Mike called out with a chuckle tacked on at the end. "Let's see what you got, girlfriend!"

The thirteen year old, dark-haired girl beamed in their direction, before charging for the body of open water, springing off her feet, and jumping into the in ground pool with an effective splash!

The two men she considered both fathers whooped and applauded when she came back for air. "Nice one, Stel," Billie exclaimed with a grin. "I'm impressed!"

Estelle flashed them another radiant smile and dove underwater again, enjoying the water as she always did during the hot, California summer.

"I swear," Billie Joe said laughing, sitting in one of their patio chairs beside Mike. "That girl's half fish."

"Fuck, I know." Mike gave another chuckle and stole a swig from his icy cold beer. "It's a good thing we have this damn pool."

"Told you it was a good idea." The musician was smug; he had been the one to insist that any house they chose should include a pool when they had been searching the market for a place to call their own.

Mike looked over at Billie and rolled his eyes, though he smiled. "Yes, hon, you know all."

Hon. It was a relief on Billie's shoulders. Finally; something other than his own goddamn name, something other than what everybody called him. "And it's a damn good thing that her high school's got a swim team. I think she'll do really great on it."

"Right. . ." The smile Mike had been wearing slowly changed itself into a frown as he gazed on at his little angelfish milling about in their pond.. "High school. . ."

"You're worried about her," Billie Joe said, his own smile smaller. But his eyes were warm, because it never failed to impress him how much love Mike truly had for his precious Hero. "She's a big girl, you know, Mike. Got a lot of you in her. She'll be good in high school."

"That's the problem," her biological father sighed. "She's too pretty, Bill. Fuck, you remember high school, don't you? Guys were, and still are, fucking pigs, and she's going to be right in the middle of it all." He bit his lip, then swung his eyes over to the smaller man again innocently. "Ever thought about being a home school teacher, Billie?"

Laughing out loudly, the guitarist shook his head and grinned warmly his husband. "Not in a million fucking years, Mikey."

Mike sighed again and nodding before taking a long gulp from his bottle of Corona. "Yeah, I thought not. It just sucks. . ."

"She'll be all right, babe, I promise. It's life, you know?"

"Easy for you to say. She's not your daughter, Billie."

It stung. Like a fucking bitch, it stung to hear those words come out of his lover's mouth. Enough to force a lump to rise in Billie Joe's throat, but he quickly swallowed it down, along with the tears pricking his eyes. He carefully composed his face, though it didn't matter since Mike wasn't looking his way anyway. "Yeah, I know, Mike."

Sometimes, Billie Joe resented how well they knew each other because Mike would hear the upset in his voice immediately. "Fuck, Billie, I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant. It's just. . . not exactly the same for both you and me. You didn't raise her. . . you know?"

"No, I get you, Mike." Billie smiled reassuringly and nodded, but what the other man had just said had something new and different from moments before stirring in him. "It isn't the same."

"She loves you like her daddy, though," Mike said fondly, the softness in his voice matching his new smile. "And you feel the same. That's all that matters."

Mike had been married twice before swearing his vows to Billie Joe. Both women, and both beautiful. The first to Anastasia, who had given Mike Estelle, though they split not long after she was born. But the second? The second was Brittney fucking Cade. Or, as Billie liked to call her, the biggest tramp to grace mankind.

The two had been married even less time than Anastasia and Mike, which was scarce in itself. In fact, though Mike promised to stay with Brittney through her pregnancy, it hadn't happened. The man had been pushed to the edge, and in the end, he had fallen for his best friend anyway. The papers were signed before the blond woman had reached her ninth month.

His name was Brixton, and he was only a year and a half old. And he was in the middle of a custody battle.

Billie thought about it often, but strangely, Mike didn't appear to. It was obvious he missed his son, who he loved just as much as his Hero, but he wasn't pursuing his baby. . . He wasn't lifting more than a finger to steal him back.

And Billie Joe did not understand.

"Babe. . . Mike?" Billie started uncertainly, as Brixton's sister continued to splash about in the pool. When their eyes met again, he murmured, "You love it when Stella visits, don't you?"

Mike's eyebrows raised, as if he were surprised. "You have to ask that question, Bill?"

"Well, I'm asking because. . . you don't seem concerned that your other child doesn't visit."

Something hardened in the blue eyes that were usually twinkling for some reason or another. Like a cube of water freezing. They narrowed. "Brittney and I are still fighting for custody. You know that."

"That could be thought of as a false statement, considering you haven't talked to your lawyer in weeks."

Billie was entering dangerous grounds, and he didn't even understand how it was possible that he could be. It was all confusing to him, and it nearly made his stomach sick. He loved that little boy, as much as he loved the girl in the pool, because they were Mike's, and he loved Mike. And truth be told, he always wanted a baby, and that was just what Brixton was. They could make him theirs.

Was that part of the problem? Did Mike not want to share that with him? Just the same way that Estelle wasn't exactly Billie's?

"Listen, Billie Joe, Brittney's an ass, and you've experienced that firsthand. This is a difficult situation, and I have to tread lightly here."

"But it's your son, Mike. Can you really tread lightly when he's involved?"

"Why are you attacking me?" Mike demanded suddenly, sitting up and clenching his beer tighter. His eyes had never been more cold, and it was bringing Billie Joe's heart to pound. "Why the hell are you on about this shit, anyway? Come to think of it, you've been on it all damn week!"

"It seems like somebody has to be! You're ignoring it, Mike, and I don't understand why!"

"Lucky for you, you don't have to!"

Billie Joe watched in disbelief as his husband quickly stood from his chair, threw open the sliding patio door, and slammed it behind him before he could even take in another breath.

All he could hear was his heart thrashing against his rib cage, and it was when he realized that Estelle wasn't swimming anymore. She was clutching to the edge of the pool, a floating head with stringy wet hair that was staring, a pale face looking about as ready to throw up as he was.

And Billie just knew - could see it in her goddamn eyes - that all she could think about was watching another fucking divorce.