Trust Me, Don't Leave Me

~~~~Dougie’s POV~~~~
It took forever the next day for Liz to get to our house. For a while I wondered if she had lied and wasn’t coming. But that didn’t seem like her, she was so sweet.
Soon I heard the sound of her motorcycle and went out to meet her. She climbed off the bike and pulled off her helmet before I got to her. Even in the middle of summer, she was wearing a black leather jacket and black leather gloves. She was humming something while she switched riding gear for her bag and put on her glasses.
“What are you humming?” I asked, spinning her around. She was wearing a semi-tight brown T-shirt that said “All this and brains too” and a pair of skinny jeans.
“The ending theme of Tokyo Mew Mew,” she said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“What’s that?”
“Tokyo Mew Mew is my favorite anime.”
“Will you sing that ending theme for me?” I asked hopefully. She was a beautiful singer.
“OK.” Then she started singing in Japanese. “Karikari hagotae hoshii shi, Amasuppai no mo sosorareruwa. Dezaato dake wa betsubara, Donyoku ni yukou! Tokimeki, doki doki, Doki doki, Ironna koto ga shitai!”
OK, I’ll admit that I didn’t understand a word of that. I guess I’ll have to get a translator sometime. Or start learning Japanese, ‘cause she knew it and love makes people do crazy stuff.
“Is there a translation to go with that?” I asked.
“I’ll show you the anime sometime, and you can follow along. They have the calligraphy, Japanese pronunciation and English lyrics on the end.”
“What do you know that’s in English?”
“I Get Off by HaleStorm.”
“Sing it.”
“It’s a little hard. I’ll sing something in my range, OK?” I nodded and she started singing. “I was so happy when you smiled; your smile breaks through the clouds of grey, far from the sunny days that lie in sleep. Waiting with patience for the spring, when the flowers will bloom renewed again, knowing there’s more beyond the pain of today. Although the scars of yesterday remain, we can go on living as much as our hearts believe. We can’t be born again, although we can change. Let’s stay together always.” I applauded her and she blushed, looking away.
Then she sighed, leaning back against her bike. She looked sad for some reason. I leaned my hand against the seat next to her, using my other hand to turn her face toward me.
It was about to get really serious between us.
“Liz, there’s something I need to say right now,” I said, my heart pounding a mile a minute. She struggled free of my grip and shook her head violently. “I have to say this,” I insisted.
“No,” she said. “Don’t. I know what it is. Don’t say it.”
“You couldn’t know. I have to—”
“You can’t!” It was only a whisper, but it might as well have been a scream. “I do know! I’ve seen it! I can’t hear it!” She was crying now, her shoulders shaking. She pushed her glasses up and pressed one hand over her eyes. “I can’t. Not here, not now.” She looked up at me then. “Not…not after eight years…not ever.”
She had her tears controlled, taking deep breaths to help her do so. I had to tell her. I had to tell her now.
“Liz, I—”
“Don’t,” she said, but it sounded like just a reflex.
“Liz, I love you.” For a moment her shoulders sagged and I had the worst thought that I had broken her. Then she stood taller and raised those icy eyes to mine.
“I told you not to say that,” she said. “And you shouldn’t feel that way.” She looked down for a brief moment then looked me in the eyes with more feeling than ever before. “And I’m sorry, but I’ll probably never love anyone.” Her eyes amended that. She’d probably never love anyone again.
“I love you,” I pressed, my hands on either side of her hips, leaning against her motorcycle. “I’ll never give up.” I leaned closer to her. “Never,” I whispered before I kissed her. I’d make her love me the way I loved her. It was the only way.
I expected her to hesitate, or even push me away. But she didn’t hesitate. She instantly pressed her lips back to mine and I felt the fingers of one of her hands come gently up to touch my jaw.
When the kiss ended, her hand stayed where it was. Her eyes were wide and her other hand was braced between mine on the seat to hold her up. She looked amazingly confused and perfect.
I hardly noticed my arms slipping around her waist, distracted by the perfect blue of her eyes with the little ring of pale green at the center. Her heart and mine were both beating harder, nervously. I could feel hers at her waist against my arms with how hard it was pumping. “You’re all I’ll ever need,” I whispered, kissing her again.
When I pulled back, it wasn’t by much. “I’m not sure…” she said, her voice dying away in the middle. “I mean, I can’t…” She was staring at me with eyes full of fear.
And I realized something.
“You’ve been hurt before, haven’t you?” I asked, brushing her cheek.
~~~~Liz’s POV~~~~
“You’ve been hurt before, haven’t you?” Dougie asked, brushing his hand across my cheekbone. My heart stuttered for a moment in my chest before picking up double time. On the surface, I was scared, scared for being hurt again. But somewhere, deep inside, coming close to the surface, I exulted at the feeling of his fingers against my skin, his nearness. I had no clue what was happening to me.
I nodded in answer to his question, unable to lie. I didn’t want him to know how my heart had been broken.
“Don’t worry about such from me, OK?” I wanted to believe I could forget that pain. But I couldn’t.
And still he made me feel so confused. It wasn’t just because he was the only guy I’ve ever really kissed.
And a smile cracked across my lips. How smut-romance-y of me.
“What’s the smile about?”
“It’s not a proper thing to say, Dougie.” He bent and kissed me again. That kiss again, the one I could never resist.
This time, when he pulled back, he stepped away, smiling. “Let’s just go inside, OK?” he asked, holding his hand out to me. I smiled back and took his hand, letting him lead me in.
And hoping in the deepest pit of my heart that he wouldn’t realize that I’d never answered his other question, never agreed to trust him.