Maybe Memories

Remus Lupin returned to Hogwarts after Christmas break with bandaged arms. Though, it wasn't exactly new for him to show up back at school hurt. It actually kind of worried Sirius, and struck curiosity. This time, he couldn't hold his tongue. He pulled Remus aside in the common room.

"May I help you?" Remus asked.

"What happened to your arms?" Sirius questioned quietly.

Remus furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed Remus' arm, pulling the robe sleeve up to his elbow, revealing several wrapped bandages.

Sighing, Remus jerked his arm out Sirius' grip. "I feel into the Christmas tree. It's actually quite embarrassing."

Sirius crossed his arms. "Really?"

"Yes," Remus said turning away and going towards the dormitory.

"Thanks for the book, by the way," Sirius called after him.

Remus glanced over his shoulder, "Yep."

"No, really," Sirius said going after him, "it's good to know someone listens to my rambling speeches and such."

Remus gave a half-smile before he continued forward.

"Guys! Wait, guys, " James exclaimed coming through the portrait hole, "the funniest thing!"

"What's that?" Sirius questioned. Half the common room had looked up expectantly.

"Snape tripped coming out of the Great Hall and everyone laughed," James said grinning. "You know what he tripped over?"

"Let me guess," Lily interjected, eyebrows furrowed in anger, "your foot?"

"No!" James exclaimed glaring at her, "his own foot."

"You're so immature," Lily said.

Estelle snorted. "It was actually pretty funny."

"Estelle," Lily began, "you're not actually letting these--"

"Evans, give it up," Sirius interrupted.

Lily glared at him and looked back down at her book.

"Don't worry, Lily," Estelle said, "I just find people tripping over their own feet amusing, doesn't matter who it is."

Lily rolled her eyes and smiled slightly.

--

As the days passed, Sirius continued trying to make sense of why Remus would be lying about what happened. The truth could be nothing good. More than every, Remus was becoming distant from James and Sirius. He seemed to be getting along with Estelle much, much better, Lily too, and he was always helping Peter with homework.

"He's keeping something from us," Sirius told James. "He knows that the girls and Peter aren't going to try to pressure him to tell what it is."

"Unless he's told them already," James said.

Sirius looked shocked.

Laughing James put his hand on Sirius' shoulder, "Calm down. I was only kidding."

"Don't you think it's odd?"

"I think you're nosey."

Sirius made a face.

--

Days turned into weeks, and another month had passed. Remus disappeared again for two days. Curiously, he returned walking with a small limp, which could have gone entirely unnoticed by anyone, except Sirius.

Between Transfiguration and Charms, Sirius stopped Remus in the common room. "Either you're going to tell me what happened, or I'm going to make you," Sirius said.

Remus snorted, "Oh really?"

"Every time you leave, you return bandaged or something. "Who or what is hurting you?" Sirius demanded.

"If I told you, you'd think I was mental," Remus said quietly.

"No, I won't!" Sirius plead, "I'm your friend."

"I don't think it's a good idea," Remus said slowly.

Sirius crossed his arms. "Come on. You've gotten this far with it."

"You promise not to tell anyone?" Remus said quietly.

"This is just you and me, mate," Sirius nodded. "We're the only ones in here."

"Okay," Remus breathed. "...I'm a--a wer-werewolf..."

"Come again?" Sirius said with wide eyes.

"Werewolf" was all he managed to repeat.

"We have to tell the others," Sirius said.

Remus grabbed his shoulders. "You can't!! I can't!"

"You're really a werewolf?" Sirius questioned, half excited, half shocked.

Remus nodded and pursed his lips, bringing his hands back down to his sides.

"Wow..." Sirius said, "but why can't we tell the others?"

"Because! I don't want them to stop being my friend, just because... Most people are very particular about being around werewolves." Remus sighed, "What if they go telling someone? What if word gets out and I can't--"

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Sirius said. "James wouldn't dare. Estelle wouldn't either. Peter wouldn't, especially if we told him not to! Though, now that you're buddy-buddy with Evans, she'd tell. Don't tell her."

Remus crossed his arms, "What if--"

"So, what? We'll figure it out," Sirius interrupted.

"Fine," Remus said quietly. "It feels really nice to let someone else in on this anyway."

Unable to concentrate on the next lesson, Sirius continued to think about Remus being a werewolf. What exactly did this mean? Yes, he turns into a wolf-man during the full moon, but...what else?

That night, Sirius, James, Peter, Estelle, and Remus waited in the common room until everyone else went to bed. It took nearly all night for Evans to finally go to bed.

"What's this all about?" James questioned.

Remus played with the edge of his shirt. "You guys are like, the only friends I've ever had. It's only fair that I tell you what's going on." He swallowed, "I keep leaving every month because I'm...a werewolf."

"Do what?!" James exclaimed.

Peter's eyes were wide, and Estelle looked like she could faint.

Sirius put his hand on Remus' shoulder, as Remus nodded, continuing, "I'm a werewolf. Have you ever noticed my monthly disappearances are only during a full moon?"

With his mouth gaped open, Peter shook his head.

"I knew there was some sort of schedule!" James said.

Estelle furrowed her eyebrows, "You're...joking."

"Afraid not," Remus said. He bit his trembling lip. These were the only friends he'd ever made.

"We're still here for him, right?" Sirius said gripping Remus' shoulder tighter.

Peter nodded, "Of course, it's just a little shocking."

"It's not everyday you find out your best mate is a werewolf," James added, "but of course. I wish there was something we could do."

Estelle nodded quickly. "I just can't quite get my head wrapped around it yet, but...of course."

Tears leaked out of Remus' eyes, "Thank you."

Springing forward, Estelle pulled him into a hug. Sirius continued gripping his shoulder. James and Peter patted him on the back.

"Exactly what happened to you?" James said after a few moments of silence.

"Well, my father insulted a werewolf once, and in turn, the werewolf bit me when I was seven," Remus said. "My parents tried all they could, but there was nothing...there is nothing."

"Nothing at all?" Estelle said quietly.

Lupin shook his head.

"So, where do you go?" Sirius questioned.

Hesitating, Remus began. "Well, there's a large burrow under the Whomping Willow that leads to a building in Hogsmeade. I'm locked in there to keep everyone safe."

"Woah!" James said.

"Neat," Peter added.

Estelle gasped. "Wait, and how do you get down there? I mean, how many teachers are aware of this?"

"Dumbledore is the only reason I'm allowed to attend school," Remus said. "He's the only person my family has ever met who doesn't seem to be prejudice about werewolves. He planted the Whomping Willow especially for me. I'm escorted down the burrow by either Madame Pomfrey or Dumbledore himself. Then, they leave me to myself."

"You return to school hurt," Sirius said. "Why?"

"Isn't it a little obvious?" Remus replied, "I'm a young werewolf confined to one room."

"Oh..." Sirius said quietly.

--

As weeks passed, the fact that their best friend was a werewolf sunk in deeply. Especially when he left the day of the full moon. Then, returned two days later with bandaged arms. A light, chilly rain was falling, meaning they were the only ones mad enough to be outside this afternoon, even if it was Saturday.

"Like my hair doesn't look bad enough," Estelle complained.

"Then go inside and shut it," Sirius said.

Estelle made a face.

James looked up to find the sky completely grey, "Maybe we should go inside, where it's warmer. This rain isn't clearing up anytime soon."

"It could only get worse," Peter added.

"Well, we're not butter! We're not going to melt," Sirius crossed his arms. "Besides I want to talk to Remus and the only way Evans or someone isn't going to listen is out here."

Remus rolled his eyes, "What now?"

"Well, when you're a werewolf, you aren't aware of who we are, you don't care if we are your best mates, you'd likely kill us," Sirius said.

"Yes," Lupin said quietly. "What's your point?"

"If we were animals, you wouldn't hurt us," Sirius grinned.

"You aren't suggesting--"

Sirius cut Estelle off. "If we were to become animagus we could still be with you."

"Don't be ridiculous." Remus said flatly.