Maybe Memories

Sirius lied on his back, staring at the shadows on the ceiling. He watched the lights from the muggle cars pass and disappear.

He exhaled and reached over to hold Estelle's hand.

She jerked her hand away and turned towards the window, away from him.

"Estelle..."

"Leave me alone," she hissed.

He sighed, " You can't act like this forever."

She got up and left the room.

The following morning, she still didn't want to look at him. She sat on the couch, where she'd sleep and didn't make tea. Sirius left without trying to talk to her.

When he returned home, her anger returned as well. She made tea but, left the kitchen when he came to pour his. She made dinner and they ate in silence.

"You can't have both of us," Sirius said, finally.

"How can you even think that?" Estelle replied.

"You're mad at me because I told him to leave and--"

"Because he has NO WHERE to go!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, stop it," Sirius growled, "I wasn't here and you were alone with him. I was jealous, okay?"

"You're being so stupid about it, Sirius!" Estelle stood up, "I love you! He's my friend and I love him in a different way. I don't want him to be homeless or hurt. Is that alright with you?"

Sirius left the room.

The days that followed were cold and quiet. Estelle left the house and went to the Potters. Lily demanded to have a talk with her, while James decided to go talk with Sirius.

"I just need a little bit of air," Estelle said, "I do love Sirius and I do want everything to work out. It's just, he aggravates me! He gets angry about the stupidest things."

"Can you really blame him for this one?" Lily asked.

"Yes!"

"Think about it," Lily said, "Put yourself in his position. What if he was alone all day with some girl."

"But it's not just some guy! It's Remus for god's sake."

"I think Sirius knows how Remus feels about you."

Estelle huffed, "I was sure he was over that by now."

"I can tell by the way he looks at you sometimes."

Estelle sighed, "Well, if that's the case, it might be better this way. I just wish Sirius wouldn't have been a complete arse about it."

"He can't help it," Lily said.

Estelle cracked a smile, "I know."

"Stay here tonight and give him something to think about," Lily said, "but promise you'll go back tomorrow?"

"I will," Estelle said, "I miss him already."

Lily smiled.

The following afternoon, Estelle went back. She hugged Sirius first thing.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Well, I'm sorry too," she said and kissed him.

"Let's just forget this. I'll apologize to Remus next time I see him,"

"Thank you."

She hugged him again.

"I want to ride on the motorbike," she said.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Alright then."

Moments later, Estelle found herself climbing on the motorbike behind Sirius. She held onto him tight as the engine came to life. Suddenly, they were off, rushing past the traffic stopped in London.

Once they reached the outskirts, and the roads were deserted, the cycle lifted off the road. It seemed like they were going straight for the sunset. She screamed in delight.

For a few weeks, things were terrible for Remus.There really was no where for him to go. He slept on the streets or roamed sleepless. It was embarrassing to even think about asking for money. Many, many jobs in the wizarding world had turned him away due to his 'condition'.

Finally, though it was still tough, he started renting an apartment. James wouldn't accept that and ended up making arrangements for Remus to stay in the house they were currently in and he could have it when they went into hiding, which would be soon enough.

Remus tried to show his gratitude, but enough thanks in the world couldn't cover it.

Someone like him was meant to live miserably. Fitting into the muggle world was a bit difficult to do, even if it was only for a eight hours, only five days a week, with the state of things. He started toughing it out though.

About time, too, he thought to himself.