Maybe Memories

Peter wasn't there. Peter wasn't at his house where he was supposed to be. But where was he?

Intent on finding Godric's Hollow undisturbed, Sirius glided over head. His heart pounded and his stomach lurched. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

He tried to let that thought go, lose it in the wind. When he landed in the small village, the feeling got worse. The feeling was in the air around him.

There was the house that belonged to the Potters, and he knew that it was the house. He wasn't the secret keeper, but he could see the house. The right side of the top floor was blown apart. The front door was opened.

"No," Sirius murmured, "no. No! NO!"

He got off the bike and let if fall to the ground. He ran to the house, but there was nothing he could do.

"NO!" he screamed, "NO!"

He came to the front door. To his astonishment, James was lying in the hallway, half slumped against the wall. His eyes stared without seeing.

Tears flooded Sirius' vision as he leaned close to James' body, to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing.

Crying was coming from the upstairs.

"Harry," Sirius whispered, "Oh my God, Harry!"

A noise came from behind Sirius and he drew his wand. He turned and found himself facing Hagrid. He stood straight. "Hagrid?"

"Sirius!" Hagrid exclaimed, "What the--" He stopped when he noticed what Sirius was standing next to.

"Harry, I'll get Harry," Sirius said.

"Dumbledore said--"

Sirius was out of sight. Eyes blurred with tears, he found the stairs. He wiped the tears from his eyes and found the door to Harry's bedroom.

The room was destroyed. Harry was lucky not to have been buried by the mess.

Then, his eyes fell upon Lily; Her green eyes stared blindly, her red hair was half spread around her, half covering her face. Even in death, she was beautiful. "Lily flower," he murmured with a thick voice.

Quickly, he turned his attention to Harry, who had stopped crying at his appearance. There was an oddly shaped wound on his forehead. Sirius gathered him in his arms and held him tight.

"I've got you, Harry," he whispered.

Harry looked at him with green eyes, exactly the same shade as his mother's.

Sirius held him tight to his chest and went back down the stairs, with tears leaking down his cheeks.

"I..." he couldn't speak when he reached Hagrid.

Suddenly, it came to him...

This was Peter's fault. He was the secret keeper. He TOLD.

"Dumbledore's said for me ter bring him Harry," said Hagrid.

"But I'm his godfather..." Sirius said.

"Dumbledore's orders," said Hagrid, sadly.

Sirius kissed Harry's head. "I love you, Harry."

It was the hardest thing he'd done in his life, handing Harry to Hagrid.

"Take my bike," Sirius said, "I won't be needing it anymore."

"Sirius, are yeh sure?" Hagrid questioned.

"I have something to take care of," Sirius said suddenly hot with rage.

It was getting late, way past midnight. Sirius had been gone for a very long time. Eventually, Estelle drifted off on the couch into an uneasy sleep.

When she woke the following morning, she paced the house, full of worry. Then, she did the only thing she knew to do. She Aparated and found herself in the streets of Hogsmeade. Dumbledore would know.

She rushed up the path, through the iron gates, and into the halls. They were empty. A smell was coming from the Great Hall of a feast. But what for? It was November 1, not Halloween anymore. She looked inside but did not see Dumbledore.

She hurried toward his office, then saw him approaching ahead.

"Professor Dumbledore!" she called.

"Estelle," Dumbledore asked, "what are you doing here?"

"What's going on?" Estelle demanded, "Have you heard from Sirius or Peter or the Potters?"

"The Potters...are dead," Dumbledore said with deep sympathy.

Her heart skipped a beat and she swayed on the spot. "Dead?"

"I'm afraid so," Dumbledore said, "I was just on my way to the Great Hall because of the celebration. Although James and Lily did not survive, Harry did! And Voldemort did not."

"What?" Estelle questioned. "What are you talking about?"

"Last night," Dumbledore began, "Voldemort went to the Potters-- how he found them, I do not know-- and went to kill. I knew the moment the Fedilius Charm had broken and sent Hagrid to check, telling him if anything was to happen, bring Harry to me. Well, Hagrid arrived finding young Mr. Black already on the scene. James and Lily were both dead, but Harry was, miraculously alive! The Killing Curse backfired."

"So, Voldemort is dead?"

"Gone, but not dead."

"He'll be back then, certainly! If he isn't dead!"

"Not for a very long time," Dumbledore said. "Would you like to join the feast?"

"I don't think I can stomach it," Estelle said. "Sir, what about Sirius?"

"I'm afraid I do not know," Dumbledore said. "He gave Hagrid his bike and disapparated. Hagrid may know a little more on the subject. In fact, I see it fit you go visit him. He looked after Harry last night and may appreciate some assistance today."

"Thank you," Estelle said, head spinning.

"Oh, and Estelle," Dumbledore said, "tonight I am seeing Harry off to his Aunt and Uncle's house in Little Whinging. If you would like to come--"

"To his Aunt and Uncle's!" Estelle exclaimed, "What? I'm his godmother!"

Dumbledore sighed, "It is a very complicated matter I hope to discuss with both you and Sirius."

"I guess I'm off to Hagrid's then," Estelle said and strode off, unsure of what to think. Tears burned in her eyes. Was this real? Was this all some nightmare? There was too much pain in her heart for it to be a dream, though.

What happened?

All night and all day Sirius was in Peter Pettigrew's trail. It was almost tough to follow. He was smarter than anyone had ever given him credit for. But finally, he'd found him. Cornered him.

Without even giving a second thought, Sirius raised his wand.

"Peter, you bloody traitor," Sirius yelled, "You dirty little rat. THEY TRUSTED YOU!"

For a moment, remorse flickered it Peter's eyes. It quickly faded, and a smirk came over his face, "How foolish."

"How COULD you!" Sirius yelled, "You were a MAURADER for God's sake! I thought more of you--"

"You, little Wormtail," Peter spat, "innocent and stupid. I showed you--"

A red spark flew from Sirius' wand, but Peter dodged it. He seemed to be reaching in his own pocket for his wand, but instead he withdrew a knife. He cut his left index finger off.

"What the hell?" Sirius questioned, wand at the ready.

Peter cringed, "We'll see whose smarter in the end."

With that, he withdrew his wand. Suddenly, the whole street corner exploded. A rat scurried into a sewage drain.

"NO!" Sirius cried. Then a scream of pure agony escaped him, nothing like you'd ever heard before. It was a rippling sound, made of pure grief.

Before he knew it, Ministry workers were on the scene bounding him. He cried, tried to speak, but he wept so hard it was mistaken for laughter.

Holding back tears as much as possible, Estelle sat inside Hagrid's Hut playing with baby Harry. She had so many questions. So many worries....

She never got any news of Sirius, even when she returned home for a moment to make sure he wasn't there. She returned to Hogsmeade to meet Dumbledore when darkness had fallen. Together, they Aparated, appearing on a quiet, plain, suburban street called Privet Drive.

"Won't the Muggles see us?" Estelle questioned.

"Ah, I have just the solution," replied Dumbledore. He removed a deluminator, which took the light from each one of the street lamps, one by one. Estelle watched quietly, in wonder.

Now, it was so dark that she was having trouble seeing anything. She followed Dumbledore closely. They reached the house number 4 and Dumbledore sat on the garden wall next to a cat that somehow looked very familiar.

"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall," he said. Of course, McGonagall had demonstrated in class that she was an animagus. She was shifting back into herself.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked.

"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."

"You'd be stiff too if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day."

"All day? When you could've been celebrating?"

"Oh yes," McGonagall sniffed, "Everyone's celebrating all right. You think they'd be a bit more careful, but, no-- even the Muggles are noticing."

Estelle watched quietly as the two elders continued their conversation.

"We have much to celebrate, much to be thankful for," Dumbledore said, "Would you care for a lemon drop?"

"A what?" McGonagall looked aghast.

"A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I've grown very fond of."

"No, thank you," McGonagall said, coldly, as if this weren't the appropriate time for lemon drops.

"Would you care for a lemon drop, Ms. Grant?"

"No, thank you, sir," Estelle replied with a small smile.

"Oh, yes, hello Ms. Grant," McGonagall said.

"Hello Professor."

"Even if You-Know-Who is gone--"

"My dear Professor," Dumbledore said, "certainly you can call him by name, especially now."

"The owls are nothing next to the rumors. Do you know what everyone is saying?"

Both McGonagall and Estelle looked expectantly at Dumbledore.

"They're saying" McGonagall continued, "last night Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow."

It pained Estelle to hear the confirmation of James and Lily's deaths again. It also made her curious of Harry's survival all over again.

"Professor," Estelle inquired, "Why here, of all places? Why not with me?"

"Yes, Dumbledore, I must quite agree," McGonagall said, "These are the Muggles I've ever seen! They couldn't be more unlike us!"

"Its better for him to be away from our world, for just awhile," Dumbledore said, "I've got it all here in a letter for them to explain to him."

"A letter?" McGonagall squawked. "Really, all of this in a letter? These people will never understand him. He'll be famous, a legend. Every child in our world will know his name."

"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking quite serious, "he'll be much better off growing up away from it all until he can take it in."

Estelle saw reason in that. It still didn't change how unfair this all felt.

"How is he getting here?" McGonagall went on.

"Hagrid is bringing him," Dumbledore replied.

"You think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"

"I would trust Hagrid with my life."

Suddenly, a rumbling sound, like a motorbike came. Confused, Estelle watched as Hagrid, atop Sirius' over-sized motorbike flew down, onto the street. When Hagrid got off the bike, Harry was in his arms, fast asleep.

"Ah," Dumbledore said, "No problems, were there?"

"He fell asleep just as we was flying over Bristol," he smiled a little. "Hello, Estelle."

Estelle gave a small smile in return.

"Is that where--" McGonagall began, shock in her voice, observing the wound on Harry's forehead for the first time. Estelle had nearly gotten used to it by now.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied, "He'll have that scar forever."

"Couldn't you do something about it?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't, scars come in handy. I have one myself above my left kneecap that is a perfect map of the London Underground."

Estelle looked around to see if anyone else thought that sounded a little strange.

"Well, let's get this over with," said Dumbledore.

Hagrid gave Harry a kiss, cried out, sounding a bit like a wild animal.

"Sh!" McGonagall hissed, "You'll wake the muggles."

"S-Sorry," Hagrid sobbed, "but I can't stand it-- Lily and James dead-- an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles."

With tears streaming down her own face, Estelle grabbed Hagrid's arm affectionately, after Dumbledore took Harry. Professor McGonagall patted Hagrid on the back.

"Its not really goodbye, after all," Dumbledore said. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep and placed a letter in his blankets.

Estelle joined Dumbledore by the step. She bent close to Harry and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you when I can," she whispered.

Hagrid pulled out a handkerchief. McGonagall was blinking furiously. Even Dumbledore had a glint of sadness in his eyes.

The four wizards stepped back.

"Well," Dumbledore said finally, "that's that. We have no business staying here."

Estelle glanced back at the doorstep once more before disappearing with the others.

"Good luck, Harry," Dumbledore murmured.

The moment Estelle reached home, Remus popped into the hallway exclaiming his worries about her and asked her where she had been.

"Where's Sirius?" Estelle asked.

"What do you mean 'where's Sirius'?" Remus questioned, "Azkaban by now, I suppose, along with his cousin and her family. Bary Crouch Jr. too, can you believe--"

"Remus, what are you talking about?" she asked.

"Bellatrix Lestrange's trial earlier. She and her husband torchured Frank and Alice Longbottom into insanity. They've been taken to St. Mungo's. I suppose Bellatrix was out for revenge on--"

"WHAT?" she exclaimed.

"Its all in the Prophet, Estelle."

"What about Sirius?"

Remus looked confused, "Have you not seen the Daily Prophet?"

"No, I was at Hogwarts all day, I told you," she said, "What about Azkaban, Remus?"

Remus grimaced and removed the Daily Prophet from his coat pocket.

On the cover, a picture of Sirius looking quite mad was above an artice.

Sirius Black was arrested earlier this morning for the murder of of 12 Muggles and a Wizard by the name of Peter Pettigrew. He exploded a Muggle street corner. Apparently, Black was working for Voldemort right under Dumbledore's nose.

"I knew Black was bad news," says Ministry worker Alastor Moody, who lost an eye and a leg fighting against Voldemort, "Any one from that family is dark."

Coinsidentaly, Black's cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange too went on a rampage today. Lestrange pleaded guilty in court for being a Death Eater and taking part in the torchure of Auros Frank and Alice Longbottom. (more of this on A2)

Sirius, however, did not go to trial. He's been put in Azkaban for life. Black was said to be Secret Keeper for the Potter family, leading us to believe it is his fault of the tragedy that took place. Black showed no remourse for his actions, laughing madly as they took him away.

Estelle dropped the paper. It was total blastphamy. Her heart sunk deep down into the pit of her stomach. What the hell had happened?

Feeling light-headed, she stumbled on the spot. Sirius would've died before giving away James and Lily. Tears formed in her eyes. She was speechless.

"But...he didn't...wouldn't..." she cried.

Remus blinked back tears himself, "Someone did."

"Does Dumbledore believe this?" Estelle questioned.

"I don't know," Remus said. He approached her and put an arm around her. He lead her to the living room to sit. She looked sick.

She cried into Remus' shoulder, as she had too many times before. After a few moment, she began to steady her breathing again.

"Its late..." Remus started.

"Please, don't leave," she begged.

He sighed, uneasily, "Alright."

She felt more tears in her eyes. She clung onto Remus tightly until she fell asleep. It wasn't a very good sleep. The thought lingered; What happened and what was to come?

And here I sat in the far corner of my cell in Azkaban, as far away from those damn Dementors as possible, thinking 'Maybe memories will help keep me sane.' There are no good memories. If there were, they'd already been taken from me.