Fallin' Faster

She was walking side by side her best friend as she was leaving the hospital. The tears were falling down her face and she didn’t know where to turn. She had no idea what in the hell she was supposed to do. He had been her boyfriend for forever and now it was just so surreal. She knew it was for the best that she walked away now. That’s what she had needed to do several years ago. But every time she told herself that this time it was going to be different, that he wasn’t going to hurt her again. This time however he had hurt more than her. She rested a hand on her stomach. She had told him that she was pregnant and he had gotten pissed. He had shoved her down the stairs and there had been nothing that she could grab to keep from falling. The only thing that was going to catch her was the floor. And that was exactly what had caught her. Now here she was finally being released from the hospital. The tears had never really quit falling from the day that her best friend Leanne Haner had helped her tell the police what had happened in that apartment. She had been told by Leanne that she was going to be moving in with her and Brian, and that there was going to be no arguments about it. It was one of the safest places for Jessica to be and they all knew it.

Jessica Carter sighed as she slid into the passenger seat of Leanne’s black Ford Explorer. She tossed her duffel bag which held all that she owned currently in it, into the back and turned to put her seat belt on. Leanne started the engine and as they drove Leanne glanced sideways occasionally to see how Jessica was doing. She knew it was going to take a lot for her to come back out of the shell that she was currently curled up into. It was hard for Leanne to understand because she had a wonderful relationship with her husband, and he treated her right. As Leanne pulled out into traffic she decided to see if she could get Jessica to start talking.

It was almost two months later and Jessica had holed herself up in her bedroom at Leanne and Brian’s. she wasn’t coming out and she didn’t want to. She only came out to eat on occasion and she didn’t’ really talk to anyone. She looked up however at a knock on the door and then watched as Leanne walked in. She was smiling slightly and she could tell that the woman was up to something, like she always was.

“Jess, you can’t hide out up here for the rest of your life.”

“Yes I can.”

“No, you need to get out of this room.”

“But…”

“Nope, no buts about it. Your coming with me this time.”

“What? Where?”

“On tour. The guys are going to be touring with Burn Halo and we figured since it was a short two month summer club tour, you’d want to come along. Only slight problem you don’t have a choice. You are going!”

“Le you can’t do this to me!”

“Well it’s called tough love babe. Start packing…okay scratch that, come on we’re going shopping.” And with that Jessica found herself being dragged out of the bedroom and having a purse tossed at her. She rolled her eyes. Leanne grinned as she shoved a pair of sneakers at Jessica as they hit the bottom step of the staircase. Jessica took them and sat down and smiled lightly as Leanne hugged Brian and he placed a kiss on top of her head.

“I see she’s dragging you out.”

“Shopping, I guess I’m not staying here.”

“Aww, yeah, no you’re not. You’re coming with, you need to get out of this house.”

“Ugh, what the hell you guys, I don’t really want to go…”

“So, you’ll have fun I promise.”

“Who else is going?”

“Hayden, Ashli, Casey, Jayme, and Aaron’s current fling Mariah.” Leanne told her. She shook her head and sighed she hadn’t seen any of them in months and something told her this Mariah chick was annoying. Especially with the way that Leanne said her name.

“Right, so how’s Hayden?”

“She’s fine, just a little stressed.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Jessica said as they walked out the front door and she turned around and walked back inside and stole Brian’s sunglasses off the table in the entrance hall. Brian started to say something but Jessica glared at him. “I don’t have any.” and she walked out the door after Leanne who was shaking her head and trying not to laugh at her husband. She grinned as Jessica also snatched the keys from Leanne.

“Hey”

“You’re making me go shopping, then I get to drive.”

“Good to see you still have a sense off humor.”

“Hmm sense of humor my ass.” Jessica said as she slammed the door to the SUV shut after she got in.

Brian stood there watching his wife and friend leave and shook his head. At least she was starting to laugh again. Leanne was so worried about her that she was stressing and now they were both hoping that going on this tour would help her. He turned and walk back into the house, he still needed to let the guys know that it was official that Jessica was coming on tour with them. It made him grin though when he realized that she would be just one more person to annoy Mariah. Who Aaron only seemed to like, seeing as he was the one dating her.

It was later that week when Jessica was standing in front of the car that she had arrived with Brian and Leanne in and was pacing. She knew that this was probably best for her but she didn’t want to go because she was still fighting the whole being alone thing. To make matters worse, Hayden and Johnny were having a baby and Hayden was five months pregnant. And Leanne had just announced that her and Brian were expecting. Jessica stopped pacing when the others had just arrived and her jaw hit the ground when she saw the woman that was holding Aaron’s hand. She was a bleach blonde skank.

“That’s her?”

“Yeah” Hayden said walking up.

“Damn. How are you Hayden?”

“As good as I can be. You’re okay with this right?”

“Of course I am. I’m going to have to deal with…” She trailed off as she was the only one that saw Mariah make a pass at James. She shook her head.

“What’s wrong?” Casey said walking over with her hand fingering the chain on her neck. Jessica looked at it and smiled. Looked like Jimmy had finally decided to let the world know who he was in love with. The chain said “Revs Girl” and she was grinning like an idiot.

“That bitch with Aaron, totally just made a pass at James.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time. James ignores them and Aaron’s only with her cos he thinks she’s a good piece of ass. It’s not gonna last.” Jimmy said giving Jessica a hug.

“Okay.” She said returning the hug and also giving Casey one. She smiled as the rest of the gang walked over. The only girl she didn’t know was the brunette with Matt. She gave Ashli a hug as she untangled her hand from Zacks and ran toward Jessica.

“Hey Jess, so this is my girlfriend Jayme, it’s been a while since you’ve been around…” Matt said trailing off. Jessica was after all his ex-girlfriend from High School and things were still awkward between them. Even though they were really good friends.

“Hi, I’m Jessica, nice to meet you.” She figured that she could deal with it. After all she had been over Matt for a while.

“Jayme…” She looked a little nervous but Jessica shook her head and smiled.

“Hi Matt, hey where’s Johnny and Hayden?”

“He made a stop at the store, something about needing caffeine.”

“Okay.” Jessica said as she began to feel alive again. Maybe Leanne was right this was definitely what she needed.

It was about four days into the tour when they hit a club to relax for a night while they didn’t have a show or a signing Jessica was somewhat leery about it but was also all for it. The only thing that totally sucked was that her partner in crime Leanne couldn’t drink with her. She glared at Leanne as she sat making out with Brian and then rolled her eyes. She wanted to dance, and she was drunk enough to dance alone which with her was never a good idea. It was how she got in trouble in the first place. She looked at Ashli, Casey, and Jayme and sighed, they too were wrapped up in their men. Hayden and Johnny hadn’t come out with them that night. She sighed and looked toward the members of Burn Halo. Aaron was already on the floor and everyone else was too busy talking.

“HEY WHO THE HELL WANTS TO DANCE WITH ME?” Jessica said loud enough for everyone to stop what they were doing and look at her. Leanne raised an eyebrow at her and the others looked at her like she was crazy. “Come on you guys don’t make me dance alone.”

“Alright, come on one dance.” James said and Jessica squealed with delight. Not because she liked him, because she didn’t, but because she didn’t have to dance alone. She grabbed his hand and drug him out on the floor. The song that started playing was Up All Night by Hinder and Jessica grinned as she began to dance with James who shook his head and let her go.

Leanne and Brian were shocked as they watched Jessica and James dance. It was more than they would’ve figured that she would do, especially with this being her first night out on the town since what had happened. She was grinning from ear to ear as she spun to face him and he wrapped his arms around her waist as it when from the fast pace of Up All Night to the slow song Amber by 311. Brian took Leanne’s hand and walked with her to the dance floor and the rest of the gang followed as one just about. James didn’t let go of Jessica. Matt glanced over and shook his head as he wrapped Jayme in his arms. Jessica was acting stranger than normal, but that could just be the tequila she had shot down. Seeing as it had been forever since she had drank like this.

The next morning Jessica woke up snuggled close to a warm body and with the worst of hangovers. She was curled so that her head was on whoever it was’ chest and her legs were tangled with his. She slowly opened her eyes as she felt the body beside her stir. She was suddenly afraid at who she would find beside her. And when she opened her eyes and bit her lower lip as she raised her head a few inches off his chest. She found herself staring into the green eyes of James Hart and her heart stopped beating for a moment as his lips turned upward into a smile. He pulled her slightly closer and she laughed a little as she laid her head back where it had been on his chest. She felt at least safe at the moment and she was still just a little bit tired. She fell back asleep and when she next woke she woke alone but there was a note beside her on the opposite pillow. She was a little disorientated but that could be because she was waking up on a moving bus and was always weary when she woke up in the mornings. She saw that there was also a plastic bag laying at the foot of the bed where she was asleep and keeping herself covered with the blankets she pulled it to her.

“Hey figured you could use these. Hayden brought them over last night and left them with Mariah. -James”

She looked at the note that had been beside where she had been laying and picked it up.

“Jess, had some stuff to do this morning. Should be back here around three. If not see you at the concert. Leanne, Hayden, and Casey stayed behind so you’d have people to talk to. See you at the concert tonight. - James” A small smile passed over her face as she pulled clothes out of the plastic bag. She pulled the simple cotton boy shorts on that Hayden had so kindly thought o give her so that she wouldn’t have to go around wearing the ones she had worn yesterday. She pulled the rest of the clothes out and shook her head at what her friend had brought her. There was a pair of her favorite tight, faded, holey jeans. She pulled out the corset top and cringed. She couldn’t believe that she had let Leanne talk her into buying it. And it looked like she was stuck wearing it that night.

Ten minutes later she walked out to the main part of the Burn Halo bus to whistles from her three friends. She shook her head and her hair which was down seemed to just stay perfectly untouched. She sat down barefoot next to her friends and crossed her legs underneath her and joined in the conversation. By the time that they got to the arena where they were meeting up with the guys Jessica was suddenly very self conscious about what she had one. Luckily for her she had decided to slide her feet into her brand new sneakers at the last minute.

She swallowed her pride as they walked arm in arm three wide into the venue for the night. She looked around and smiled lightly at all the people that she knew and when she saw the gang she dipped her head and her hair fell in her face. She knew by the looks on their faces that they knew what she had done last night. Well okay who she had done last night. She couldn’t look at him and she knew he was waiting for her to say something. She tried counting to ten but that didn’t work, He was still watching her from across the room. She nodded at him but said nothing.

She watched as they walked out on stage and leaned back against the wall. She was avoiding the entire gang because of the looks that she had been getting since walking into the venue. She watched as Mariah paid more attention to James than Aaron and it pissed her off.

“Hey Mariah”

“Hmm?”

“What the hell do you think you are doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The near molestation of James is what I’m talking about.”

“Excuse me?” She tried to pull off looking innocent but it didn’t work so well.

“Don’t give me that shit. You’ve been all over him for god knows how long and don’t even get me started on the Sevenfold boys…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about… Jenni wasn’t it?” Mariah said smirking.

“Bitch I’m not even gonna correct you because I know you know my name. I’d just like to know why the fuck you’re all over everyone but Aaron when he’s the one that you’re supposed to be dating.” Jessica said balling her fist.

“News flash… the only one that I am all over is Aaron…Jessica”

“Right keep telling yourself that. I’m not fucking blind and I know I didn’t imagine you practically groping James the other day.”

“Now why the hell would I do that? Unlike you I’m not a whore.”

“Ha that’s rich especially coming from you.”

“I’m sorry, uhm I do believe that you’re the on that had a one night stand with James last night not me.”

“Jealous much?”

“Shut up why would I be jealous?”

“Uhm maybe because I’m actually wanted here? Or maybe because I’m not the one that’s here because someone needed a good fuck. My bet is that it’s both though.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Aw that’s cute. You think you’re the only one that’s getting over on someone.” Jessica glanced over at Aaron as he played onstage. “You think he actually likes you?”

“…”

“Wow you are dumber than I thought.”

“I am not dumb.”

“And really that’s impressive because I thought you were practically brain dead before.”

“What the hell is your problem you stupid bitch?”

“My problem is you. I’m sick of you trying to fuck my friends, especially when you’re supposed to be dating one of them.”

“I am dating him.” Mariah said and she looked like she was ready to throw a fit.

“God you’re a fucking idiot of epic proportions.” Mariah looked confused at that one. “What did I use too many big words.” Mariah glared at the other woman and balling her fist aimed and ended up missing as Jessica side stepped her. “Now, don’t you know that it’s not nice to throw punches at your boyfriends friends. The only thing that Mariah could do was glare.

“Wow is that look supposed to be intimidating? Because I’m pretty sure my bunny slippers wouldn’t run for cover if that look was being directed at them.”

“You have bunny slippers?”

“Your mother must’ve laced your baby food with lead based paint.”

“Huh?”

“Oh never mind that went over your head.” Jessica said as she fought the urge to bash Mariah’s face into the wall. “You’re almost not even fun enough to bitch to because you’re too fucking stupid to understand it.” Turns to the stage as a song begins to play. “Oh hey I know that song, they’re playing your song bitch.” Jessica said and turned to walk over to watch the rest of the show.

“What did she mean by that?” Mariah asked the thin air as if expecting it to answer and remove the extremely confused expression off her face.

Her eyes, no matter how much she tried wouldn’t stay off James and as he sang the lyrics to Dirty Little Girl she swallowed hard. He was staring straight into her eyes. He started in on the chorus and even though he was center stage his eyes never once left hers as he sang.

…Hey, she’ll give it up for free/ Yeah she’s only out to please/ She don’t love me but I don’t seem to mind/ Wait I’ll take another ride before I have to say goodbye/ Yeah, It’s a crazy world but I’m in love with a dirty little girl…

Jessica watched him as he finally move to make eye contact with the crowd and she stepped back out of his line of sight and slid with her back against the wall down to the floor to sit. She wrapped her arms around her legs as she pulled them to her chest. There was no way in hell she needed to worry about what had just happened right? She decided to try and not think about it, but she couldn’t forget the way his eyes had shaken her to her core. She was still sitting there when the set was over and they walked off stage. She stood up as she heard them coming and saw that Mariah was still glaring daggers at her. She sneered back at her.

“Hey…” She spun around and came face to chest to James Hart himself. She swallowed hard before looking up at him.

“Hey…nice set…I uhm have to go…”

“What don’t you need to talk to him about last night. I know there is a reason Hayden dropped off a bag of clothes for you…”

“Shut the fuck up bitch.” Jessica said turning to face her and lunged. She had her hands wrapped around Mariah’s throat in a heartbeat. The guys just stood there for a second before Aaron and James moved to pull the two apart. And Jessica found herself with her face buried in James’ chest and tears falling down her face a moment after he pulled her away from Mariah. James just held her.

“Aaron damn put your bitch on a leash.” Matt said walking over and Jessica tried to pull away as James laughed at what his friend had just said. But from the way she was pressed closed to him she decided she liked when he laughed while holding her. Then she caught herself.

‘wait what the hell where did that come from?’ she yelled mentally at herself. She felt his arms loosen and she immediately stepped out of his embrace, but not away from him. Because he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“We do need to talk.”

“Uhm not here?” she practically begged.

“No not here. Come on.” he didn’t try to take her hand but fell in step beside her. She suddenly worried about what he was going to say.

“You know he’s in love with her right?” Matt asked Brian who was now standing beside him strapping his guitar to himself.

“You know she’s avoiding him right?” Brian tossed back as they joined the other three as they walked on stage.

Jessica looked around the small room and decided that it was fine for talking as long as she was beside the door at all times. She watched as he sat down and waited for her to as well, waiting for her to sit down. She sat down in one of the chairs across from him. She never took her eyes off of him.

“Jessica… there’s something that I have to tell you.”

“What?” She was eyeing the door behind her and she was fidgeting with her hands.

“Don’t say anything just listen to me. If when I’m finished you want to walk out that door I won’t stop you, but hear me all the way out first please?”

“okay…”

“I’m in love with you. I have been since I first met you and I know this sounds impossible but it’s true. I don’t know how but I’m going to do everything that I can to make you see that I’m not lying. Even if you walk out that door right now, I wouldn’t stop loving you.” He watched her for a moment and when she didn’t move toward the door he continued. “Tonight out on stage I meant what I said. Well obviously not all of it, but the fact that I’m in love with you and I don’t’ mind that you don’t feel the same. But I know you at least care about me a little bit somewhere inside.”

“James… I can’t…I can’t love…not…” And she turned and practically ran from the room. She kept running as she passed her friends and when she got to the bus she climbed into Matt’s bunk because that was where she felt safest. She saw his aviators sitting on the pillow, because he had forgotten them and put them on hiding behind them and curling up in a corner of the bunk crying. It was almost two hours later that Jessica woke from crying herself to sleep when she heard voices on the bus. She peeked out of the bunk still hiding and saw that it was just the guys and their women. And only Sevenfold. Not a single member of Burh Halo had come back to the bus. Matt glanced back in her direction when he caught movement out of the side of his eye. He excused himself from the conversation and even though Jayme gave him a quizzical look walked back toward his bunk. He saw her sitting there crying, and it wasn’t the first time he had seen her hide behind his sunglasses.

“You wanna talk?”

“He… how could anyone…?” And she cried harder. Matt moved so that he was sitting on the bunk beside her and she curled into him crying.

“How could anyone what?”

“Ever love me?”

“I did, I still do, just not to that extent. What happened between you and Nick?” she had seen it coming and knew someone would ask eventually.

“He was a jerk.”

“Jessica, this isn’t you. You don’t run from things like this. What happened to the strong willed, strong minded woman that I knew?”

“She was broken. She broke the day he first threw me down that first flight of stairs.” She looked up at him and he pushed the glasses off of her face and onto the top of her head.

“You can get threw this, I know you can. Something else happened what happened two months ago? Why did Leanne promise you that she wouldn’t let any of us know why she went to that hospital in Dallas. And then again when she finally brought you home?”

“Matt what the hell is going on?” They both looked up at Jayme as she stood staring at them. Matt didn’t move and Jessica didn’t’ either. She glanced from Matt to Jayme.

“Don’t be mad, we’re just friends I swear…” and the fear in her voice had Matt forgetting what he was going to say.

“Jayme go on back out there with the others, I’ll be out in a minute…” Jayme didn’t argue with him but she glared at Jessica as she walked away.

“Are you going to tell me?” Matt asked turning back to her.

“I was pregnant. I told him I was and he got pissed. He threw me against the wall and I fell down the stairs.”

“Jess…” she looked at him and she knew that he felt for her. She had never seen the man cry in her life and she had known him for as long as she could remember and now here he was crying over what had happened to her. “Why didn’t you ever call? We all would’ve helped…”

“I couldn’t, just please Matt don’t make me face James again. I can’t. I can’t love him, I can’t love anyone.”

“I won’t, come on, you do however have to face the people on this bus.”

“Yeah can I hide?”

“There’s the girl I know, and the smile, come on.” Matt got up and pulled her up after him. Jayme watched from further up on the bus as she pulled Matt’s glasses down over her eyes and she glared. She wasn’t even allowed to touch his sunglasses. Matt shook his head and Jayme backed down. He wrapped her in his arms as Jessica sat down beside Leanne.

It was towards the end of the tour when Jessica finally felt like herself again. She had turned to Matt and the others for help and they had all agreed to it. As she walked into the venue alone with her head held high and wearing a Dirty Little Girl T-shirt, the same old jeans she wore to the first show of the tour and sneakers. She knew that Burn Halo was already halfway through their set and she had finally gotten the nerves to walk in. she saw her friends who nodded to her and stayed clear. She was walking towards the stage when she turned and ran to Matt. She pulled his sunglasses off her head and grinned as she handed them over. His jaw hit the ground and she turned and took off toward the stage. She got there and Aaron saw her mouthing the words you’re just in time. She nodded and watched as they began to play Fallin’ Faster. She stood there and when Aaron gave her a nod she stepped to where she would be a little more visible to James and he caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. He continued to sing the song but his eyes strayed to her every so often and he down right turned to face her when her voice rose above those of the fans.

...I’m fallin’ faster now/ I really need to know/ Will you please show me what it’s like to be in love?...

Her eyes said it all and a grin suddenly passed across his face. They finished the set up and the minute he was backstage she was before him and she stood close to him and looked up into his eyes. He looked down at her and she stepped forward and leaning up on tip toe she kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame as her arms snaked around his neck. As the kiss lengthened the cheers of their friends barely registered and the Sevenfold chants even seemed to fade from the background. It was just the two of them and that was all it needed to be. They pulled apart and she grinned as she spoke.

“Great set.”

“We need to talk.” was his response.