Simple Kind Of Life
Preach All You Want
I really feel, that I'm losing my best friend
Jerking awake, I fumbled for the light on my bedstand. Flicking it on, I saw my mom stood at the foot of my bed, a tray in her hand.
"Breakfast honey," she said, forcing a smile.
I took the tray from her and sat with it on my bed.
"Are you going to eat?"
"I will once you've gone. I want to eat in private."
Sighing, she shut the door behind her. Immediately, I jumped to my feet, grabbing a plastic bag and emptying the contents. They were full of cosmetics that I had bought the other week to try freshen up my appearance. So far, they weren't working.
Hurrying back to my bed, I scraped the food inside it, then tied a tight knot around it. I pulled my bed from the wall and knelt on the floor. I peeled the carpet back to reveal three loose floorboards. Prising them open, I threw the bag in with the rest of them. Holding my hand over my mouth from the smell that was now emitting from the bags of rotting food, I put the floorboards carefully back and smoothed the carpet over.
"Katie? Nat's here!"
I pushed my bed back and opened my bedroom door.
"I don't want to see her!" I shouted down the stairs, coughing slightly.
"Katie please, just five minutes?"
I considered for a moment, then gave in.
"Five minutes."
I sat down heavily on my bed, waiting for Nat to come up. I daren't look at her as she came in, afraid of what she would look like.
"Katie?"
My fears were confirmed as I looked up. She was 6 feet of pure beauty. I felt rage surge up inside of me. The nail file was looking at me and I resisted the urge to pick it up and stab her.
"Katie, I came to apologi..."
"You've already done all the apologising you need to do," I interrupted.
"But you need to understand! I was doing it for you!"
"Right! Course you were. Get out Nat."
"You said five minut..."
"Five, four, three, two, one, goodbye!"
"That's five seconds!"
"No shit! Get out Nat."
"But..."
"I said out!"
Looking defeated (which satisified me a little) she turned and headed out of the door. I slammed it shut and leant against it. Just seeing her made me so jealous. Why did she have all the looks, all the boyfriends? I just didn't understand.
Duh! It's 'cos she's thin!
"Shut up," I said to myself. "I'm going to look as good as that on the night. I promise."
Rootling around in my drawer, I found a tape measure. Wrapping it around my fat waist, I worriedly glanced at it. Still too big.
Marking a thin line on the tape measure, I sighed. Everytime I missed a meal, I would measure myself. That way, I knew if I was losing weight.
From now on, I was going to stop eating completely. Not be tempted by anything, not say "oh I'll just have one more cookie." I was going to get thin.
And this time, I meant it.
Crappy update, but next one shall be better =D
Jerking awake, I fumbled for the light on my bedstand. Flicking it on, I saw my mom stood at the foot of my bed, a tray in her hand.
"Breakfast honey," she said, forcing a smile.
I took the tray from her and sat with it on my bed.
"Are you going to eat?"
"I will once you've gone. I want to eat in private."
Sighing, she shut the door behind her. Immediately, I jumped to my feet, grabbing a plastic bag and emptying the contents. They were full of cosmetics that I had bought the other week to try freshen up my appearance. So far, they weren't working.
Hurrying back to my bed, I scraped the food inside it, then tied a tight knot around it. I pulled my bed from the wall and knelt on the floor. I peeled the carpet back to reveal three loose floorboards. Prising them open, I threw the bag in with the rest of them. Holding my hand over my mouth from the smell that was now emitting from the bags of rotting food, I put the floorboards carefully back and smoothed the carpet over.
"Katie? Nat's here!"
I pushed my bed back and opened my bedroom door.
"I don't want to see her!" I shouted down the stairs, coughing slightly.
"Katie please, just five minutes?"
I considered for a moment, then gave in.
"Five minutes."
I sat down heavily on my bed, waiting for Nat to come up. I daren't look at her as she came in, afraid of what she would look like.
"Katie?"
My fears were confirmed as I looked up. She was 6 feet of pure beauty. I felt rage surge up inside of me. The nail file was looking at me and I resisted the urge to pick it up and stab her.
"Katie, I came to apologi..."
"You've already done all the apologising you need to do," I interrupted.
"But you need to understand! I was doing it for you!"
"Right! Course you were. Get out Nat."
"You said five minut..."
"Five, four, three, two, one, goodbye!"
"That's five seconds!"
"No shit! Get out Nat."
"But..."
"I said out!"
Looking defeated (which satisified me a little) she turned and headed out of the door. I slammed it shut and leant against it. Just seeing her made me so jealous. Why did she have all the looks, all the boyfriends? I just didn't understand.
Duh! It's 'cos she's thin!
"Shut up," I said to myself. "I'm going to look as good as that on the night. I promise."
Rootling around in my drawer, I found a tape measure. Wrapping it around my fat waist, I worriedly glanced at it. Still too big.
Marking a thin line on the tape measure, I sighed. Everytime I missed a meal, I would measure myself. That way, I knew if I was losing weight.
From now on, I was going to stop eating completely. Not be tempted by anything, not say "oh I'll just have one more cookie." I was going to get thin.
And this time, I meant it.
Crappy update, but next one shall be better =D