Glowsticks

I opened my eyes slowly, aware of the burning sunlight that lay in front of my eyelids. Today I didn't feel like waking up. At all. Last night's events replayed in my head slowly, as if deliberately torturing me. I went into the small bathroom, and looked in the small mirror, fixing my hair a little and doing my morning routine. I grabbed my dusty pink toothbrush and debated talking to Jackson. I stormed off like a little school girl, but I couldn't let him in my world. I did that once and it ruined my life. He seemed trust-worthy, but I didn't want to risk it.

After washing myself and feeling slightly better, I walked to my large wooden closet and opened the scratched doors, taking out a leaf-green dress, beige sandals and a brown thin leather belt. I put my hair in a bun and went out of the house, grabbing my keys and wallet. For curiosity's sake, I decided to take a loon in it: $30. Things were not looking good for me. It was six a.m. Most people weren't up yet. I took the well-known path to the shop, hearing the sound of cars roaring to life. I gave a few 'hellos' to the people that came out of their house, to go to their jobs, same as I was. For a town with so little inhabitants, we surely got up early.

xXx

I saw the shop. It was 15 feet in front of me. I picked up my pace, already feeling the heat of the sun. I didn't notice anything strange about the place. After all, who would rob an old gas station's shop? I wouldn't. Not in the middle of nowhere. As I approached it, I took out the keys and struggled to open the doors. During one of my struggles, I looked to the side and that's when my eyes got as big as saucers.

"Jackson?" I said, getting it out more as a question, than an actual greeting. He didn't smile at all. No trace of amusement could be seen on his face. The wind slightly blew, shaking his hair a little, getting it in his eyes. Usually, he'd swear under his breath and move it, but his blue eyes remained as piercing as they could. Unexpectedly, I felt a wave of embarrassment come over me, and I tried to rethink the speech I had put so well together that morning. I couldn't remember a thing.

Shoot!

He came over to me, no longer resting against his blue truck and kicked the door open. Hard. When he got in, I noticed that the door was one step from breaking. I looked nervously at his back and went behind the counter, pretending to be cleaning it or something. Anything to get those hurt and angry eyes out of my head. He took one chair, and brought it closer to the counter,not caring that it screeched all the way. Jackson sat down and looked at me, not saying anything and not moving an inch. After one minute, I could feel tiny sweat prickle at the base of my neck. I knew I'd have to say something, Jackson was dead set on not starting any kind of conversation, but I couldn't gather the words. I never felt so stupid and immature in my life. I kept on cleaning.

"Had a good night sleep?" I blurted, hoping this would get him to talk. No such luck. He ignored me, got up and grabbed a beer bottle. He threw some change on the counter and then sat back down. "It's on me." I informed and handed him the change. He took it back, careful not to touch my hand. I've got to say, his behavior started to hurt me.

"So, it's pretty hot outside, huh? I swear, some day we're all going to melt." I laughed nervously. Jackson ignored me again. He just looked into my eyes and quietly scolded me. I felt really uncomfortable under his gaze - the new Jackson's gaze. That scared, childish feeling came over me slowly, engulfing me into an unexpected despair.

"Don't be stupid." Jackson calmly said.

"What did I do?" I inquired confused. I knew what he wanted. But I couldn't.

"Last night." He started. "Why?" With that, he took another drink.

"I-I don't want to -" I started but shut up as soon as I saw Susie's figure enter the small shop. I raised my eyebrows in confusion. She never came this way. it was far too much to walk for her. And then it dawned upon me. Last night. I couldn't utter an apology fast enough.

"Well, hello there, Audette. I'm so glad to see you're alright. We were really worried about you last night." Susie exclaimed and I nodded my head in guilt. She went at the back of the store, looking at some sodas. Jackson looked at her briefly, before analyzing his beer bottle in silence.

"Oh, yes. I'm so sorry, Susie. But I thought I came up with something and I couldn't risk giving it to you as well. Luckily, it was just a scare. Look," I started, as I went where she was. "have some soda. It's on me." I offered and she nodded her head, before kissing my cheek and thanking me. I looked at her curled hair, turquoise-lined eyes and floral ensemble. I smiled at the colors she had on. We walked to the counter, where she paid for a chocolate, and then noticed Jackson sitting there.

"And who are you?" She asked in a tone that you ask dogs what their favorite chew-toy is. He looked up at her and shortly introduced himself. He smiled as he said his name and I felt a little jealous. How could Susie rob him of a smile and I couldn't? I went to the telephone and dialed the number that was stuck in my brain for a decade. My nerves got the best of me as I started squirming thinking that this was the day. The day they'd finally pick up the phone and talk to me. Let me in again.

'It's been so many years, I'd be surprised if they still have the same number.' Nope. Same tone beeping again and again. I turned back around, ignoring Susie's pitying gaze and Jackson's curious eyes.

"You're Joseph's grandson?" Susie asked shocked. Jackson nodded his head and she positively beamed at him. "Great grandfather you have. Best player of chess I've ever known." She chuckled. "Well, see you later kids." And with that, we were left alone again. Jackson's smile was completely wiped off. Back to feeling like crap.

"Who did you phone?"

"I-I didn't want to start something that I wasn't sure I could continue. I - well let's just say that I've let people down before and you're not one of the ones I want to disappoint." I admitted, hoping to avoid the subject all together. I didn't feel comfortable talking about my feelings, but I felt far more comfortable with this than telling him about my family. "I want to make you proud of me."

I then opened the radio. It blared the news loudly "Robert Stephen Morrison is coming into town, folks! The town's former mayor is paying us a little visit. Hope he still likes Rosetown!" My stomach churned and my heart felt like it had sunk. Jackson noticed the unpleasant look in my eyes, I could practically feel his need to know. I sighed and rushed to turn off the radio. Great. Another reason why technology is bad for people.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, with my eyes closed. After that I felt a strong pair of arms hold me close and Jackson kissing the top of my head.

"You're not telling me everything, Andie." He murmured and I squeezed my eyes shut again.

"No, I'm not."

xXx

"Come on." I invited Jackson. He got in my king-sized bed, complete with fluffy pillows and yellow striped sheets. He got in it with nothing on but black boxers. I blushed and avoided looking at him until he had sheets around his sinfully perfect body. He set his head on the pillow, and I put my chin on his bicep and watched him drift off into peaceful slumber.

"From the beginning of my life, I wasn't fully wanted. My parents were excited about having a boy, and when my mother gave birth to me, and found out that I was a girl, they were slightly disappointed. They did their best to hide it, though. But a kid sees these things. Anyway, one night I came home crying." I whispered. My heart was beating a thousand times per minute and I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I folded my ice cold hands and went on. "and when my parents asked me what was wrong, I-" I was interrupted by Jackson's small snore.

I let out a breath, and put my head on his chest and went to sleep. I still had a lot to tell him.

'Please, God, make him stay once he hears it all.'