Of Rage And Love

The two girls stepped off the train, the older one with a spring in her step as she did so. They wove through the crowds on the platform but this was made difficult by the fact that they were moving in the opposite direction to everyone else.

“Gloria, keep hold of my bag.”

“As if I was gonna do anything else, Maria.” Her little sister muttered, grabbing onto the handle of her backpack as they fought against the crowd.

They finally reached the far edge of the platform and jumped down. It was a good job, really, that the platform had been so busy – if they’d had ended up by the ticket office they would’ve been in trouble. Hitching was much easier in Jingletown than here in Murder City.

“Well, that was relatively easy.” Maria grinned. Gloria didn’t reply, simply shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and followed as her sister set off along the side of the track. She broke her silence a minute later.

“Where are we going?”

“Back to the Underbelly.” She noticed that Gloria had stopped walking, and turned around to face her. “C’mon, Lor, it isn’t far.”

“Yeah I know but... What are we doing, really?”

Maria spoke slowly. “Meeting the others. I know you’re tired, honey, but I thought we established that back in Jingeltown?”

“I know...” Gloria hesitated. “But, seriously, we don’t even know these people, not really. Or I don’t, at least. I know you just think I’m paranoid or whatever, but they could all be psychopaths for all I know!”

“Would I ever, ever put you in danger?” She sighed.

“Not deliberately, no.”

“Gloria.” Maria narrowed her eyes.

“Maria.” Her sister mocked. “Maybe we should just go home?”

“Why the hell would I go home?” She snorted derisively.

Gloria was beginning to get frustrated. “Because that’s where we should be! We don’t belong here, and deep down inside you and I both know that!”

“Lor, I don’t belong there. I don’t know about you, but I cannot face another day there.”

“Why not?” Her frustration was giving way to anxiousness. “And I mean really why not? I know it got to you, and you didn’t like it there, but you’ve never explained why.”

“Because Dad’s and ass and Mom is never there? Because neither of them like the person I’ve turned into? Because nothing good ever happens anymore? Take your pick.”

“I know...” Gloria was almost lost for words. “But it’s just... it’s home, though, isn’t it?”

“It isn’t mine.” Maria cut her off bluntly.

“Then where is your home?”

“I haven’t found it yet.” Maria had become uncomfortable with her little sister questioning her, and reverted to her best form of defence. “Fuck it, if you wanna go home then go the fuck home. I’m not gonna stop you.”

“You know I won’t.” Her little sister sounded unsure. “But I can’t go back without you, Maria, they’ll crucify me if I do. And... I don’t want to go back without you, either.” Maria crossed her arms. “Look, I understand that this is tiring and irritating for you, too, but you’re kind of putting me in a weird situation. I love you Maria, you know I do. And I need you ‘cause God knows I can’t do this alone. But... I don’t know what I want anymore. When we first talked about leaving it was gonna be this big adventure, just me and you. But then you left without me and –”

“There was a reason for that.”

“Whatever, whatever, let’s not go into it now. But you came back, and now we’re finally out. And at first it was thrilling and exciting and it felt right, you know? But this is... it’s getting more and more uncomfortable for me, Maria.”

“I love you too, Lor.” Her expression softened as a sigh escaped her painted lips. “And I know I’m a complete bitch for making you choose between staying with me and going home to Mom and Dad. But it’s because I can’t do this alone either. Let’s face it, who else do I have? There’s no boy around to look after me and be my knight in shining armour so I’m looking after myself. And I’ll look after you too, I swear... But if you don’t feel right being here then you can go.” She pauses. “And, ‘weirder and weirder’?”

“I understand you. And by ‘weirder and weirder’ I meant... we used to have a home, a house – with food – and even if it wasn’t the best of households it was still there and it was still ours. Where are we now? I don’t even know, actually. Befriending the criminals who belong to an underground rebellion? Where are we gonna live, by the way, when we completely run out of money? Which is gonna be pretty soon, in case you hadn’t realised.”

“I see your point. But at the moment, in my heart of hearts, this is what I want. To work things out myself and... have some kind of life... And they’re good people, Gloria. They’re just not the kind of people you used to hang around with.”

“I know, I know...” It was Gloria’s turn to sigh. “And I want to do this with you, I want to find out who I am. But it would be nice to have something to fall back on if everything goes to hell... Although I doubt we do, now that we’ve both run off...”

Maria pulled a face. It suddenly hit her that what they were doing was pretty ridiculous, standing at the edge of the tracks arguing. But just as she opened her mouth to speak, Gloria made a decision.

“Seeing as we’re pretty much on our own anyway... I’m with you.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah.” Her reply was hesitant, and she was biting her lip. “You know I could never leave you, sis.”

Maria closed the distance between them and hugged her little sister tightly.

“Come on. Andrew said he’d pick us up on the Boulevard.”