Of Rage And Love

Jimmy's head was full of numbers. He'd spent fifteen minutes sitting on Tunny's front lawn with Christian once the boy had gone inside, and then walked the five blocks from there to Christian's house. Five minutes had been spent sitting out on the wall in front of Christian's house before his Mom had come out and yelled at them. Then he'd walked the seven blocks from there back to his own house, finally arriving home at 2.30 (give or take a few minutes).When he finally found the energy to roll over and look at his alarm clock the time was 10.00am exactly.

Fuck. He groaned inwardly as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. Mom’s gonna go insane.

He hated Mondays. Granted he hardly ever went to school anymore so that wasn’t a problem, but Monday was the day his Mom spent at home, recovering from whatever she’d drank over the weekend. He’d have to deal with her questions about why he wasn’t in school. It wasn’t exactly a conversation he enjoyed having.

He cast his eyes around the room as he swung himself out of bed, and as he spotted yesterday’s clothes he grabbed them. He found a cigarette in his pocket and this discovery elicited a smirk. He lit it, took a drag and made his way downstairs.

“Put that thing out right now, Jimmy.” His mother glared at him as he entered the kitchen.

“Mom, it’s not like you don’t smoke in the house.” He flicked ash across the floor.

“I’m your mother; I can do whatever the hell I like.”

“Pfft, that’s great parenting.” He snorted, taking an exaggerated drag from the cigarette as he strode away into the living room, his mother’s glaring eyes doing their best attempt to bore holes into his back.

By the time his mother came into the room she'd lit her own cigarette. She put a plate of food in front of him and sat down in the armchair.

"What's the matter with you?" She asked as he looked blankly at the plate.

"Your face." As he spoke, Jimmy cast her a withering glare.

"Oh, well it must be easy sittin' there all high and mighty - the king of shit mountain."

"Shit mountain. That's exactly what this fuckin' place is. This disgusting house that we live in. You know what the sickest part of it is? You come in here ever God-damn morning, and you give me the same, sick look."

That gets her full attention.

"What look is that, Jimmy?"

"You look at me like I'm the loser."

"Oh." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You sit there with your fuckin' scratch-off lottery tickets and you think 'oh, maybe tomorrow it's all gonna change'. You're never gonna fucking -"

"Are you done? Who gave you the right to start shit? What are you, Jesus nailed to that couch suffering for your sins? And I'm the loser? That makes you the son of a loser, you fuckin' moron." She reached over and stubbed her cigarette out into his breakfast.

Their eyes met, and they held each other's gaze. Neither of them wanted to look like a coward by breaking eye contact.

Without looking at the table, Jimmy knocked the plate up towards her face. She flinched, and was wiping the food from her face as he stormed out of the house.