Wild Night

I looked at the pictures in my hands. Various things being done. With various people. Zacky and Jenn. Jenn and Brian. Johnny and Jimmy. Me and Jenn. You get it. My lovely wedding picture. We all looked so happy. All wasted. Obviously. My lips turned up in the corners. I frowned when I looked up. Matt came walking in. He isn't talking to me. A big argument went down between me and him. I'm told anyway or I fucked up again. I'm not sure. He'll come to. Its not a first, him not talking to me. There was all those times when he was with Val. As long as he's around I'm fine. I sipped my beer and looked back at the photo. I pouted a bit when the thought of the tour ending came to mind. My parents are just going love hearing about me and Matt getting hitched. If I hadn't already told them.

Brian: what are you looking at?

Melly: the convicting pictures and shit.

He sat next to me. His hands gently taking select pictures. A chuckle came from him.

Melly: what?

Brian: check this one.

Melly: we are so stupid.

Brian: I bet it was my idea.

Melly: I'd lose if I bet against you.

Brian: what is going on in this...oh geeze. That's fucking gross.

Melly: there was a reason I said convicting.

I smiled.

Brian: put them away no one should ever see them.

Melly: don't blame me for their existence I wasn't holding the camera.

I glanced at Matt. He buried his face in some magazine he was "reading".

Brian: its nice to see you awake this early for once Melly.

Melly: yeah.

I went back to the pictures. Everyone had been quiet the last few days. My assumption is the guys are glad to be getting home.

Melly: Brian.

Brian: yes.

I leaned against him and kept my voice low.

Melly: remind me again why he's mad?

Brian: you...you fucked Zacky again.

I nodded.

Melly: that it?

He half smiled.

Brian: Melly I know its not a totally legit marriage or anything but you shouldn't be fucking just anyone.

Melly: we know Zacky.

Brian: you know he's going through a lot, Matt I mean. He let go of Val for you, is trying to make you better. And you don't care. Its not easy. He himself isn't even drinking as much. He doesn't fuck anybody else.

Melly: so.

Brian: you're right, who does care? I mean why would you try to remember the good and bad times with the people you love. And I don't just mean Matt. Fuck all the times we've shared. You and Jenn.

He stood up and walked away. Everyone was getting mad at me. I chugged my beer as a result. I didn't need to take this shit. Matts eyes were on me.

Melly: and what the fuck are you looking at hubby?

I threw the empty bottle on the floor and stood to grab another. Matt leaned over and picked the empty bottle up.

Matt: you're better than this.

Melly: no I'm not.

Zacky: its a little early for this don't you think?

Its how it is now. Matt would say something like that. Then I'd respond. Soon we would be in an all out argument. Nothing new was ever said. Same shit. Over and over and over.

Get better.

I can't.

You're a drunk.

I know.

You're lonely.

Prove it.

Its a never ending cycle dealing with the sober. Annoyed I slammed the fridge door.

Melly: open this.

Jimmy looked at me then at Matt. Not sure what he should do.

Matt: don't do it Jim.

Melly: open it.

Jimmy took the bottle.

Matt: Jimmy.

Melly: open...it.

He clutched the bottle. All he had to do was open the stupid thing. Matt gave Jimmy a stern look.

Jimmy: I'm sorry Melly. I can't.

I snatched the bottle back.

Jimmy: I'm just trying to be a good friend.

Melly: I know Jim.

I held the top of the bottle to the counter and smacked it hard. The cap popped off and some beer spilled onto the floor.

Melly: you are a dick.

Matt: because I don't want you to drink?

Melly: no because you force people into shitty situations.

Matt: so because I don't want you to drink.

Melly: I don't mind you fucking with me but leave everyone else out. There was no need to make poor Jimmy uncomfortable.

He sighed. Matt has his games and I have mine.

Matt: don't turn this around on me.

Melly: don't be an ass then. How nice of you to be the bigger person and start talking to me though.

Zacky got up and left. I don't blame him. Even I was getting bored with these repetitive arguments. Granted I can't remember most, I imagine though they play out the same. My eyes stared out the little bus window.

Matt: what are we going to tell our parents when we get home?

Melly: who you talking to?

Matt: you.

Melly: tell them about what?

Matt: us.

Melly: what about us love?

Matt: fuck I don't know, being married.

Melly: oh yes that.

I shrugged.

Melly: we haven't told them yet?

Matt: no.

Jimmy: maybe you can make it a surprise.

Melly: I don't think there is anything I can do to shock them.

Jimmy: what if they say you two have to get a divorce?

Matt: then I tell them to suck it.

Melly: I wouldn't know the difference. Divorced married. Its the same for me.

Matt: not for me.

Melly: this "marriage" is bullshit. I'm sorry but it is. Sure you've cried your I love you and it wasn't a mistake crap. I know better. You waste more time worrying about me than living your life and I don't give two shits.

Matt: that's...what you do when you care about someone.

Melly: do you honestly think its going to work.

I stated more than asked.

Melly: no its not. I've already hu...hurt you more than I've ever wanted to.

My voice was weak and quiet.

Matt: clean up and it won't be an issue.

Melly: you don't get it. I don't care.

Matt: you just showed you do.

Melly: I'm a good liar. I'm so fucked up right now, you know it, I know it, Jimmy knows it, everyone knows it. I'm not sure what I'm fucking thinking right now.

Matt: why are you talking in circles?

Melly: I don't know.

I smacked my hands onto the counter.

Matt: are you on something?

Melly: ofcourse I am Matthew. Its just kicking in. Isn't that the topic of any conversation we have.

He stood up and came beside me.

Matt: what is it?

Melly: I never keep track of my intake love.

Matt: where did you get it from?

Melly: to be honest, I'm not sure. Johnny or someone.

I shook my head. My eyes focused on the space inbetween my hands. Everything turning hazy.

Matt: Melly!

Melly: what? Where...what did you say?

Matt: are you...

Melly: don't talk to me right now.

I smirked. His eyes filled with disappointment. I felt beer dribble down my chin and onto my chest. Happy and giggly is all I felt.

Melly: now love, what were we talking about?

Matt: nothing Melly nothing.

Melly: you sure?

My arms snaked around his neck.

Matt: yes I am.

I kissed his lips.

Melly: are you upset?

Matt: a little.

Melly: what can I do to make you feel better?

I kissed him again.

Melly: I hate to see you unhappy.

I leaned my chin on his chest so that I was looking up at him.

Melly: come on, what can I do for you husband?

He sighed. My hand travled down to his buttons. The other bringing the beer to my mouth.

Matt: not out here.

Melly: Jimmy is a grown boy he knows what we do.

My lips met his neck.

Matt: its so hard to help you, when you make me feel so good.

Melly: I'm only concerned with making you happy. I don't need help. I'm perfectly fine.

Matt: why do you do this? Why? Why? Why?

Melly: do what?

Another sigh.

Matt: you smell like two days ago.

I shrugged.

Melly: that's never stopped us before.

Matt: go take a shower.

I backed away.

Melly: now? You want me to bathe now?

Matt: yes.

Melly: are you coming with me?

He shook his head. My arms fell to my side.

Melly: fine. Johnny! Its bath time!

I walked to the bunks.

Johnny: what?

Melly: bath time.

Johnny: we've got a bath?

Melly: excuse me I meant shower.

Johnny: oh shit.

He stood up and came to my side.

Johnny: I'm not sure I can stand very well.

Melly: it will be quick in and out.

I smiled a bit.

Melly: in...and out.

He perked a brow.

Johnny: I can do that.

Jenn: you are sooo fucked up right now.

Melly: naw I'm just buzzin'.

Jenn: like fuck you are.

Melly: come on Johnny.

We supported each other to the bathroom. Clothes came off and it was hot real fast. Johnny's eyes traveled down my body.

Johnny: I'm going to puke.

Melly: you act like I care.