A Way With Words

“ So, you know this only creates more conflict right?”

“ Fuck my life, I know.” She stirred her tea as she sat on the opposite couch from Fred. He had been right. It had been more than four years and on the first meeting they had already devoured one another in sex. Stupid. She let her guard down, she completely let everything down and let him in, really in. She regretted smelling like sex.

“ Did you know that I forced him into therapy after one night?” She looked at him confused as she tilted her head, putting down her tea.

“ He had been putting up a strong front for a while. I had gone out with him and the boys for some drinks. We were laughing about a few things when Pat brought you up. John had left on a drunken and completely destroyed note. In his trashed state he threatened to completely drown himself in more alcohol. He fell asleep crying that night and made me swear not to mention it, and here I am telling you this while you look at me like that.” He stared into her eyes as every single word set in. She felt a sharp pain on her chest as the tears welled in her eyes.

She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, it was now or never.
“ When I was a little girl I always pushed him away. Almost every day I pushed him away except for one or two times. I was scared, ashamed embarrassed.”

Fred leaned in as he held her hand in his for comfort as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

Flashback

She spun around again and again in her fathers over sized chair. She looked at the desk that was way too tall for her. She loved her fathers office even though he told her never to step foot in it. She loved the organized pens, the smell of stowed away thick cardboard paper, and the small hint of peppermint cigars on his desk top. She couldn't help but touch the important pages she couldn't yet read, she loved the trace the letters in his engraved name tag.

“ Step this way, right into my office.” She panicked as she heard the foot steps come closer. Quickly and subtlety she snuck into the small closet on the far right of the office as the people stepped inside the room.

“ Alright Pinto, you better have a good damn reason for this.”

“ Of course sir.” He nervously stroked his tie as the men sat at the chairs in front.

“ All I need is a couple of weeks, I need to clear things out before I finish this task.”

“ Pinto we've given you enough time, Roberts is not going to like this at all.”

“ I know, I know.” He folded his hands. “ You see I have a daughter. She's only seven years old and I need her out of here and safely before I go on with this.”

“ True, You know how Roberts is about 'em kids. He can't have non of 'em get'n hurt.” The other man nodded as her father sighed in relief. She peeked out of the closet door as she listened to them.

“ What about 'em neighbor of yours, ey?” Her father rubbed his temples as he looked at the men.
“ They're go'in to havta go too ya know.” Said the man truthfully as he leaned forward in his chair.
“ I know Bob, I know.”

“ That night I was so confused, I didn't understand a thing, and I knew better than to ask. Put later in the years I found out. My father was going to murder my mother as well as the O'Callaghan's. See my father was in a rough business. He got paid millions to take people out. He signed a contract to marry my mother so she would be killed. She was from a high ranking family and the boss my father worked for wanted her family out. As for the O'Callaghan's they were to close to the family. Eventually my father would have to kill them as well. I tried my hardest to protect them. I overheard one night my father talking to a couple of men.

Flashback.

“I can't force my daughter Bob, I don't want her involved. No, I refuse...Bob.” He sighed as he growled into the phone.
“ Fine I'll make one deal with you. If my daughter ever falls for that O'Callaghan boy, then we can set the plan. We can get her involved and have them arranged in a marriage. It will be easier this way to get to their family, if not get my daughter out of this, bye Bob.”

“ That's why I ran away from him for so long.” She felt the tears pour out. “ that's why I could never love him Fred, I would be the reason why he was killed. I would be the reason why John wouldn't be here today. So I had to hurt him, but only to save him.”

She let the tears fall as Fred embraced her into a tight hug. She had never let it out, she had kept all of that bottled up that it pained her in so many different ways.

“ I love him Fred, I really do.”
“ I know Honey, trust me I know.”