I love the girls who hate to love because they're just like me

I arrived at Brett's, almost half an hour after I'd phoned him.

I walked up the stone steps and onto his porch, raising my hand to the door and knocking slowly. I waited for a minute and then peered in through the side window, wondering where he was. I knocked again, louder this time, but there was still no answer. I turned over my shoulder, double-checking that I'd seen his car in the drive. The '69 Camaro shone like a star and I turned back to the door.

I grabbed the metal knob and gave it a turn, swinging the door open slowly. I stepped inside and my brow furrowed as I looked down to see Brett's checkered vans kicked into the corner. He was home.

I noticed two other pairs of shoes accompanying his and that confused me. There was a large pair of plain, black slip-ons and a smaller pair of black Draven's.

"Brett?" I called, closing the door behind me. I held my breath to see if I could hear anything but the house was silent. I kicked off my shoes into the pile and walked over to the kitchen. Empty.

I continued to the living room and shook my head at the puzzling situation.

"Brett?" I called again, my volume rising as I made my way upstairs. The top floor was vacant as well and I came back to the bottom floor, confused. "Where the hell are you?" I muttered, more to myself, and then I heard his voice.

I turned around and made my way to the back door, seeing Brett sitting on the back porch next to another figure. I didn't want to interrupt so I stood at the screen door quietly.

I wasn't really eavesdropping, I was trying to be polite, but they were speaking in hushed voices so I couldn't hear anyway. I opened the door quietly, stepping out onto the back porch, and Brett's head turned towards me. The other kid was staring at the ground with his back towards me.

"Hey," I said quietly, unsure if I should speak. Brett gave me a sad smile and turned back to his friend, resting his hand on his back momentarily. He turned his gaze to me again and stood up, taking my hand and pulling me inside. "What's going on?" I whispered and Brett looked down at his feet, searching for words.

"I'm not really sure, Avery." He looked back up at me and sighed. I didn't like seeing him like this. My face fell and I looked over his shoulder as his friend rose from his sitting position. Brett turned around as the guy came inside, the screen door slamming on its hinges behind him.

"Listen Brett, thanks. But, uh...I should get going." His voice was haggard and it sounded like he had smoked two packs of cigarettes a day since he was ten. He looked about my age but the bags under his eyes made him seem older. His hair was all tattered and out of place and he looked scruffy, like he hadn't showered or shaved in a few days. He reminded me of the homeless men I'd had to feed at the shelter for community service, minus the beard. He could probably use a good meal and a hot bath.

"No man," Brett said, shaking his head, "I'm not just going to let you leave." I was utterly confused but I trusted Brett would fill me in later. I heard something behind me and another guy walked down the stairs, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyes scanned the scene.

"What's going on?" he asked and my eyes looked him over. He was shorter than the first guy but a bit taller than me. He didn't look as tired or upset as the other, yet I still got the feeling that they were together in whatever was going on here.

His skin was smooth and pale but he didn't look sick or overly hungry, like his friend. He had the left side of his elegant nose pierced and the right side of his full, bottom lip. The two silver piercings glimmered in the light of the room and I wondered if my cheek piercing was having the same effect. Maybe it was just my eyes.

His eyes caught mine and I looked away quickly, focusing back on Brett. It seemed all eyes were on him, searching for answers.

"Ronnie was just telling me you two are going to be staying here for a while," Brett said and my eyes widened, my mouth dropping in succession.

"What?" I asked, but it seemed I was speaking in stereo. I looked over my shoulder at the guy, the one I had been staring at for much too long, to see his reaction matched mine to the tee.

"No man, we can't," he said, his teeth fiddling with his lip ring nervously after the statement. I looked back at the dirty one called Ronnie and he seemed to have no objections. Brett looked at him as well and Ronnie gave him a nod. "Ronnie," the other one said in a scolding tone and they exchanged glances. Things were tense for a few minutes and Brett and I exchanged awkward glances.

"Thanks, Brett," Ronnie said, finally breaking the silence as he pulled my best friend into a hug, patting him on the back.

"It's no problem, I've got extra rooms." Actually, he only had two extra rooms. One was mine and one was for his instruments. I guess I'd be sleeping with Brett tonight. "You guys go get your stuff from the car and I'll start clearing my shit out of the spare rooms."

"Really man, you don't have to-" the short one protested but Brett smiled his famous, caring smile and took a step forward, putting his hand on his shoulder. I looked over and suddenly realized that, during my resilient stare with Brett, the short one had moved closer to me.

I stepped back slightly as his gaze found mine and not Brett's, and my eyes darted away, landing on Ronnie. He stared at me with a look I couldn't decipher and I furrowed my brow, looking away quickly as an uncomfortable feeling ran through me. I decided the only place my eyes were safe was on the floor.

"Shut up, seriously," Brett laughed. "Go get your stuff." The small guy sighed half-heartedly and pulled Brett into a hug, not bothering to pat him on the back the way guys do, trying to make the hug 'manly'. He just held him with care and that's how I knew he really meant it.
"Thanks, Brett. Really." Brett nodded and shoved him towards the door, Ronnie trailing behind slowly. As soon as the door closed I turned to Brett for an explanation.

"What the hell's going on?" I asked, putting my hands in my pockets uncomfortably. Brett sighed and ran his hands through his hair, looking over my shoulder to make sure the two boys had made it outside.

"Ronnie's in trouble," he sighed, probably trying to avoid thinking about his new responsibilities and the piles of stress that would follow. This wasn't fair.

"I'm sure whatever it is he can deal. I mean, you don't always have to be the knight in shining armour Brett. It's too hard." I was being selfish, I knew I was, but I needed Brett right now and these guys were taking him away from me.

"Avery," he pleaded, begging me to understand as his arm swung forward and his finger clutched one of the belt loops on my jeans. "They need me." I wanted to scream, so loudly, that I needed him, probably more than they did, but my words came out differently.

"That might be true," I said, "But you need to help yourself sometimes too." My tone was getting angry and his brow furrowed slightly.

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned. Typical Brett: not caring that I was being mouthy, just wanting to know if I was okay.

"No Brett, I'm not sure," I sighed, shaking my head as my gaze fell to the floor. I stared down at his stocking feet, wondering how the hole near his big toe had suddenly appeared.

"Talk to me," he pleaded and I sighed, wanting to bring the conversation back to the two new squatters.

"Do you even know these guys?" I asked, looking back up at him, my brow creased with question. "I've never even seen them before."

"Ronnie's an old friend," he nodded, confirming my theory that he didn't know the other.
"Brett, are you sure you can handle this? I mean, two more bodies in the house? How are you going to deal? Your grocery list is going to get bigger and your bank account's going to get smaller." He just shook his head as if I didn't know what I was talking about.

"You know how things are, Avery," he said in a hush, "My grandparents left me more than enough for myself." He was right, I did know that. After Brett's grandparents had died they left their only grandson everything they owned, this house included. His parents were well off as well and topped up his account every chance they got. Christmas, birthdays, you name it.

The kid was bloody lucky but I still felt I had to argue. I had to try to save him from what he was getting himself into. Or was I just trying to help myself?

"Do you really know what you're getting yourself into?" He looked at me strangely and let his finger fall from my waistline.

"Avery, stop it. What's gotten into you? You're never this quick to judge people. Why are you so against this?"

"I'm not," I said defensively, "It's just...never mind." I let out a sigh, knowing I couldn't tell Brett about all the things that were going on with me. I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn't. He had too much to deal with already.

The front door opened and I turned around slowly as the boys set their bags on the floor with a loud thud. I guessed they had a lot of stuff with the three duffels Ronnie was carrying and the two the short one had.

"Where to?" Ronnie asked with a small grin and I looked back at Brett. He stared at me for a second, his face promising our conversation wasn't over, and then turned back to Ronnie. He smiled slightly and walked over to where the two boys were standing.

"Right this way gentlemen," he said, grabbing the bag Ronnie had dropped and hiked up the stairs. The two boys followed Brett and they disappeared onto the second floor. I sighed to myself as the terrible pain of guilt travelled through my body and leaked into my brain.

I wandered into the living room, knowing I'd have to tell Brett sometime, and trying to figure out when that time would be. I would definitely have to wait until things got settled with these trespassers. Or maybe I wouldn't have to tell Brett at all. Maybe I could find another job and just pretend like I'd quit Starbucks? That could work. But I'd have to start my search tomorrow if I wanted to make this believable.

Just then, the short guy trampled down the stairs and my eyes darted in that direction as my heart jumped from the abrupt noise. He seemed happy to be here. I shot him a glare as he glanced at me and smiled apologetically. He didn't wait for a response as he darted out the door. I rolled my eyes and I flicked on the TV, shaking my head as I tried to distract myself from what was going on around me.

My world was falling apart and I was losing the only friend I had.