Trembling With the Strings

I held Marcus close to me, mumbling his lullaby over and over again—anything to keep the impending silence away. He was sobbing into the fabric of my shirt, his shoulders shaking in torment as he tried to stop. I took in a shaky breath, praying that Johnny would be okay.

“Shit!” Darius screamed, running over to Marc and pushing him out of the way. He searched feverishly for a pulse, checking from Jonathan’s wrist to his neck. “What fucking happened?”

“I don’t know!” Marcus cried out, throwing his face into his hands. “Johnny scraped his knee on the concrete! I just—I lost it! Please! I don’t know what to do!”

“I think you’ve done enough!” Darius hissed, muscling past me and ignoring Demetrius’ cries as he carried Johnny into the house, slamming the door behind him so hard that a hinge broke.

“Marcus, it’s not your fault,” I mumbled, kneeling down in front of him and taking his shoulders in my hands. “You didn’t mean to.” I glanced back towards the house, taking in a deep breath as I kissed his forehead. “He’ll be okay. Dray knows what he’s doing.”

“Gracie, you don’t understand,” he whispered, shirking me off. “When I bit him… I could feel his heartbeat burning in my throat. I heard him screaming in pain, but I couldn’t pull away! He was begging me to just stop, but I wouldn’t let him go—I wouldn’t let fucking go!” His eyes were full of crazed terror as he stared at me, his face splattered with his brother’s blood.

I didn’t know how much longer I could stay strong for my brother’s sake. I was still a kid. How was I supposed to hold myself together while trying to rebuild my brother? It was impossible. I just wanted to crawl under the covers and bawl my eyes out, but I was a mother. The adoption papers had been signed only hours ago and my brothers were now my children. A mommy doesn’t break down in front of her babies.

“Grace, I killed my brother,” Marcus sobbed.

“No. Don’t say that,” I begged, biting back tears. “Darius is going to fix him.”

As Marcus cried even more, all I could think about was Dray’s journal. He had gone through the same thing, but for Marc it was worse—this was his own brother. I think Darius had freaked on Marcus because he felt like it was his fault, like history had repeated itself and he should have been able to stop it. But he couldn’t have. I guess sometimes demons of the past come back to haunt us.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Marcus stayed put as I walked over to Darius. He took in a deep breath, closing the door softly behind me after I stepped into the hall.

“This was supposed to be a nice day. There hadn’t been a dark cloud in sight,” he mumbled randomly, not able to look me in the eye.

“Darius, please tell me: how is he?” I begged, gently catching his arm. He shook me off, the sadness suddenly replaced with anger as he threw his fist into the wall. I cringed, waiting for the shattered drywall to settle on the floor.

“I fucked up somehow! I don’t know how, but I know I did.” He looked over at me, his eyes red. “Now you and Demetrius are the only humans in the goddamn house. You’re not staying human for long, so where does that leave him?” He leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor before throwing his face into his hands. “I’m supposed to be these kids’ father. I’m certainly doing one hell of a job!”

“This isn’t your fault,” I managed to choke out, sitting down beside him and taking his hand in mine. “You couldn’t have done anything.”

“I changed Marcus. If I hadn’t done that he wouldn’t have damned Johnny. This is why I’m not meant to be a dad.”

“But our baby isn’t going to be a normal human.”

“Do you have any idea how fragile hybrids are?” he asked me quietly, staring at our twined fingers. “Most of them die before they’ve been alive for a year. If they’re born with any minor health problem, they’re good as dead.”

“Maybe God will cut us a break,” I whispered, trying to fight the sleep that was tugging on my body.

“Don’t hold your breath.”

I didn’t make it a second longer.