Trembling With the Strings

Darius didn’t even glance in my general direction as he sat down behind me in World History. If he hadn’t been given that assigned seat he probably would have sat halfway across the room. That realization killed me, and I sent a fleeting glance to Marcy. She smiled weakly, looking at Darius before turning her attention to the front of the room. I bit my lip before turning around to face the music.

“Darius, please,” I whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear that we had a fight. Rumors were easily spread, and I did not want to be tearing girls off of him.

“What do you want? Class is about to start, and I would like to pass any future tests I have to take.” His voice was devoid of any emotion, but his face was twisted up in agony as if every breath I took was like a dagger into his heart.

“I love you.”

He shot me a glance that was both annoyed and tired. “Sure you do.”

“I do!” I argued, reaching out and catching his hands as they lay on the desk. He looked down at them before returning his gaze to my face. “I didn’t mean to say that, and I swear I don’t hold that against you. We were both confused, and I forgive you. I just want you to forgive me. Please. I’m miserable, Darius.”

“Welcome to a day in my life, my darling,” he spat, jerking his hands from mine suddenly and slouching in his seat as he pulled out a book to read.

“It’s upside-down,” I informed him softly, biting my lip as I turned to face the front of the classroom. I heard pages shuffling as he surely flipped the book right-side-up.

I had hoped that the day would be full of independent studying since I had no friends (or any that were willing to talk to me—thanks Dray; thanks a lot), but I knew that my luck had taken a turn for the worse a long time ago. Lo and behold, we had a group project to work on. Darius tried to get Marcy, but she had told him that only losers worked with their brothers. No guys would work with me out of fear that my fiancé would beat them to a bloody pulp, and the girls were too busy flirting with Dray. A few glares fixed that up and soon Darius and I were left partner-less.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he hissed, turning my desk around to face his in one swift motion. I hardly had time to gasp before I was entirely relocated.

“How flattering. Really, it is,” I grumbled, pulling out my book and sighing as I stared at the various posters around the room about the world and—well—history.

“What do you expect me to do? I’m not just going to forget about what you said to me, Gracie. I may be a monster, but we have feelings, too.” His voice was thickly laced with sarcasm.

“Stop,” I begged, flipping open my textbook. “You’re not a monster, Dray. I love you. Let’s get this done so you can go back to hating me.”

“I don’t hate you!” he hissed quietly, glaring. “You’re just—you’re impossible!”

“We’ll talk about this at lunch.”

“We’ll talk about this now.” I shot him a look. “Fine. But you’re not getting away from this.”

“I never do, but we need to get our summary done.”

He snatched the paper from my hand and turned the book so he could read it. I watched jadedly as he scribbled words all over the page, managing to finish an entire summary of the first chapter within two minutes. He glanced up at me, handed me the paper, and smiled painfully.

“Just write our names.”

I smiled, kind of, as I took the pencil from him. I wrote ¬Darius Jameson and Gracie Jameson before looking up at him. He reached out and caught my hand gently before burying his face in his desk.

“Fuck my life, Gracie.”

“I couldn’t mess it up any more than it already is,” I mumbled, running my free hand through his hair absentmindedly. He groaned gently, letting a silence fall around us as I played with his hair.

I had been absolutely right when I had told Darius about boys just making life so much more complicated.