Trembling With the Strings
Aloha!
“Would you like to hold him?” a smiling nurse asked me, holding out a bundle of blue blanket. She lo+oked so compassionate, as if being around sick people didn’t affect her at all. I smiled half-heartedly.
“Sure,” I mumbled, my voice cracking slightly. I hadn’t been able to use any medication because I was too far along, and my son hadn’t been very gracious.
Oh, crap! I hadn’t even named him!
I took him anyway, carefully watching him. He smiled, revealing two small fangs. He reached up to me with his hands, and I let him grab hold of my index finger. He giggled in delight, and I smiled gently. What happened to the demon child I had come to know?
There was a silence. Why wasn’t he talking anymore?
“He’s just a baby. Baby’s can’t talk, and you two aren’t as close anymore since he’s outside of the womb,” Darius told me quietly, nodding to the nurse. She left us alone, and Darius walked to my side. “He’s cute, isn’t he? Like his mommy.”
I glanced up at him, but I couldn’t take it. I kissed my son’s forehead.
“Hey, Handsome,” I murmured, smiling even more as he nibbled on my finger. “Aren’t you cute, Mister?” He shrieked something in response, but I didn’t speak Gibberish. So I compromised. “I love you, too.”
“Gracie, please,” Darius mumbled, grabbing my hand. I jerked it away, glaring up at him.
“What are you even doing here? You dumped me, remember?”
“Don’t do this to me,” he begged, looking at his son for a moment. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
I scoffed at him, frowning at my child as he reached for Darius. “Why would I want to be dumped? I get that you feel bad and all, but don’t assume I’m an idiot.”
“I’m not lying!” He was staring at the baby, probably fighting the urge to pick him up. “I love you, but I thought you were mad at me. I thought it would make you happy to go back to your old life.”
My lip twitched into a sneer. “I destroyed the bridge to my old life, because I was supposed to start a new one with you! But I guess that doesn’t mean a thing to you, does it?” The baby started crying, but I only watched him quietly.
“Let’s not talk about this right now, not in front of the baby,” he mumbled quietly. “Can I hold him?”
He had good reason to ask so hesitantly. I handed him over quickly, not wanting to touch Darius longer than I had to. My fiancé smiled down at the bundle of blue blankets, watching his child with the most peaceful expression on his face.
“What are we going to name you?” he whispered softly, kissing his forehead.
A small knock on the door interrupted us, and suddenly the door was shoved open as people poured into the room. Marcus, Johnny and Demetrius ran up to me immediately, all speaking at once. Marcy, Dante, Cameron and Drakken walked over to Darius. I looked away from them when Drakken placed his hand on his son’s shoulder, telling him that he was going to be a great father.
“What’s his name?” Marty asked me, jumping onto the bed and sitting down beside me. Marcus and Johnny watched and waited.
“I have no idea,” I told them, throwing on the fakest smile I had ever worn in my life.
“I thought we were naming him Lance,” Cameron said loudly, glancing to Dante in confusion.
Dante stumbled for words, but Darius sighed. “Gracie knew a Lance. I think it’d kill her to have her son named after that bastard.”
I would have thanked him, but we were not on speaking terms no matter how many nice things he did.
“Oh.” She smiled again. “Then what’s his name?”
Darius and I exchanged glances, but neither of us said a thing. Marty and his brothers, however, started throwing around names like there was no tomorrow. From Keith to Zanzibar, they named them all!
Gracie, whatever you want to name him is perfect with me. Just say whatever you want, and I’ll go with it. Please… I love you.
I thought for a moment. There was one name that came to mind, though I didn’t know why. My son’s eyes reminded me of the crashing waves of the ocean. They were cold at times, violent and dangerous at other times, and even gentle and protective on rare occasions. It was for that reason that I spoke without another thought.
“Kai,” I murmured softly, gazing longingly at my son. Darius glanced over to me and walked over, placing him back in my arms. He kissed my forehead softly.
“Kai it is, then,” he promised, gazing at me with such torment in his eyes. But he deserved it.
“Isn’t that ‘Ocean’ in Hawaiian, or something?” Dante asked, finding amusement in my train of thought. I nodded anyway, glancing down to meet Dray’s eyes, which were placed on such a small and innocent face.
“I’ll go take care of everything, so we can go home,” Darius told anyone who cared to listen, excusing himself from the room.
Marcy ran over to me, squealing. “He’s so gorgeous! He looks just like Darius when he was a baby. Well, from what I’ve seen in the pictures anyway.”
I nodded, forcing a smile for her sake. She was right. Kai looked like Darius in every way imaginable, but he didn’t look like me at all. I didn’t know why that killed me, but it did.
“Sure,” I mumbled, my voice cracking slightly. I hadn’t been able to use any medication because I was too far along, and my son hadn’t been very gracious.
Oh, crap! I hadn’t even named him!
I took him anyway, carefully watching him. He smiled, revealing two small fangs. He reached up to me with his hands, and I let him grab hold of my index finger. He giggled in delight, and I smiled gently. What happened to the demon child I had come to know?
There was a silence. Why wasn’t he talking anymore?
“He’s just a baby. Baby’s can’t talk, and you two aren’t as close anymore since he’s outside of the womb,” Darius told me quietly, nodding to the nurse. She left us alone, and Darius walked to my side. “He’s cute, isn’t he? Like his mommy.”
I glanced up at him, but I couldn’t take it. I kissed my son’s forehead.
“Hey, Handsome,” I murmured, smiling even more as he nibbled on my finger. “Aren’t you cute, Mister?” He shrieked something in response, but I didn’t speak Gibberish. So I compromised. “I love you, too.”
“Gracie, please,” Darius mumbled, grabbing my hand. I jerked it away, glaring up at him.
“What are you even doing here? You dumped me, remember?”
“Don’t do this to me,” he begged, looking at his son for a moment. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
I scoffed at him, frowning at my child as he reached for Darius. “Why would I want to be dumped? I get that you feel bad and all, but don’t assume I’m an idiot.”
“I’m not lying!” He was staring at the baby, probably fighting the urge to pick him up. “I love you, but I thought you were mad at me. I thought it would make you happy to go back to your old life.”
My lip twitched into a sneer. “I destroyed the bridge to my old life, because I was supposed to start a new one with you! But I guess that doesn’t mean a thing to you, does it?” The baby started crying, but I only watched him quietly.
“Let’s not talk about this right now, not in front of the baby,” he mumbled quietly. “Can I hold him?”
He had good reason to ask so hesitantly. I handed him over quickly, not wanting to touch Darius longer than I had to. My fiancé smiled down at the bundle of blue blankets, watching his child with the most peaceful expression on his face.
“What are we going to name you?” he whispered softly, kissing his forehead.
A small knock on the door interrupted us, and suddenly the door was shoved open as people poured into the room. Marcus, Johnny and Demetrius ran up to me immediately, all speaking at once. Marcy, Dante, Cameron and Drakken walked over to Darius. I looked away from them when Drakken placed his hand on his son’s shoulder, telling him that he was going to be a great father.
“What’s his name?” Marty asked me, jumping onto the bed and sitting down beside me. Marcus and Johnny watched and waited.
“I have no idea,” I told them, throwing on the fakest smile I had ever worn in my life.
“I thought we were naming him Lance,” Cameron said loudly, glancing to Dante in confusion.
Dante stumbled for words, but Darius sighed. “Gracie knew a Lance. I think it’d kill her to have her son named after that bastard.”
I would have thanked him, but we were not on speaking terms no matter how many nice things he did.
“Oh.” She smiled again. “Then what’s his name?”
Darius and I exchanged glances, but neither of us said a thing. Marty and his brothers, however, started throwing around names like there was no tomorrow. From Keith to Zanzibar, they named them all!
Gracie, whatever you want to name him is perfect with me. Just say whatever you want, and I’ll go with it. Please… I love you.
I thought for a moment. There was one name that came to mind, though I didn’t know why. My son’s eyes reminded me of the crashing waves of the ocean. They were cold at times, violent and dangerous at other times, and even gentle and protective on rare occasions. It was for that reason that I spoke without another thought.
“Kai,” I murmured softly, gazing longingly at my son. Darius glanced over to me and walked over, placing him back in my arms. He kissed my forehead softly.
“Kai it is, then,” he promised, gazing at me with such torment in his eyes. But he deserved it.
“Isn’t that ‘Ocean’ in Hawaiian, or something?” Dante asked, finding amusement in my train of thought. I nodded anyway, glancing down to meet Dray’s eyes, which were placed on such a small and innocent face.
“I’ll go take care of everything, so we can go home,” Darius told anyone who cared to listen, excusing himself from the room.
Marcy ran over to me, squealing. “He’s so gorgeous! He looks just like Darius when he was a baby. Well, from what I’ve seen in the pictures anyway.”
I nodded, forcing a smile for her sake. She was right. Kai looked like Darius in every way imaginable, but he didn’t look like me at all. I didn’t know why that killed me, but it did.