Trembling With the Strings

Hot tears ran down my cold cheeks as I watched my baby struggle to live. Darius wasn’t doing any better, but he still attempted to hold me together. His arms trembled as I cried into his chest, just begging that I would wake up from this horrible nightmare. Yes, I would wake up in the arms of my husband, and our baby boy would cry and cry until Darius pushed me out of bed, telling me that it was my turn.

What I wouldn’t give for that…

Darius released me from his embrace, and I let out a quiet shriek as I fumbled with my arms in an attempt to pull him back.

“Baby,” he choked out, chaffing my arm gently. He then pointed to the door with his bloodshot eyes.

I glanced over, biting my trembling lip, and saw a doctor walking into the hospital room as quietly yet as hurriedly as he could. I didn’t like the grim look on his face; I didn’t like it at all. The man opened his mouth but closed it again. He flipped through pages on his clipboard before turning to us. I grabbed Dray’s hand tightly, and Darius didn’t complain even though my nails were digging into his skin to the point that he was bleeding.

“This is your son, correct?” he asked us, focusing more on Darius.

“Yes,” Darius whispered, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat, sending a glance to the small cradle-type bed in which our son was laying. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I’m not an expert on this, Darius, but I think that you deserve to hear the truth. I’m sure that your father would feel the same. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, so, if your wife would like to leave the room, you can break this to her gently.”

“Baby, will you be alright?” Darius murmured in my ear, kissing my forehead gently and prying his hand out of my grip so he could wrap his arms firmly around me.

“No. But I’m not leaving you here alone,” I decided, letting out a shaky sob.

The doctor was stalling, and that didn’t ease my nerves at all. I sent a fleeting glance to Kai, who was so quiet and still. He didn’t seem like the loud and opinionated boy I had grown to know. He had only been in the world for a month, but I loved him so much.

“I’m right here,” he reminded me, releasing me to catch my hand. He turned to the doctor. “Please just tell us. What’s wrong with our son?”

The doctor nodded. He looked at me, but immediately looked to Darius and kept his focus there. “He originally had pneumonia, but it advanced into septicemia, or ‘blood poisoning.’ I’m afraid there’s not much we can do. As time passes, the virus gets more severe, and this child has been struggling against it for quite some time. It’s a miracle that he has made it this long, but I don’t believe he can make it much longer.”

“Isn’t there something you can do? There has to be something!” I begged, wiping my eyes furiously. “A surgery? Medicine? Anything!”

“I’m sorry.” I glared at him as my lip trembled along with my heart. “At the most, he has a few days, but that’s being optimistic. It doesn’t help that he was born prematurely, so he probably will not make it to tomorrow night. We’ll give you something for the pain he’s experiencing, if you want to take him home. We usually would keep him here, but there is absolutely nothing that could help him. It’s simply too far along.”

Part of me was praying for a miracle, but the other part of me had condemned God for killing my child. I finally saw what Darius had meant about Him. I had been preaching the Bible to him ever since we met, but God had thrown me out of his grace. How ironic. It was probably because I kept vampiric company, and my son was made of fifty-percent sin. Actually, he was probably more, because he was conceived before marriage. Perhaps he had fifteen-percent angel in him, but to me he was a perfect baby boy.

“Wait!” I forced out, just before the doctor could leave. “My baby is a hybrid. Doesn’t that make a difference?”

He sighed. “Hybrids are very fragile, Mrs. Jameson. Drakken would surely tell you the same. He and I were colleagues back in the day, actually. I know what you’re going through, but, once your child does pass, he will no longer be in pain. I lost my twins and their mother, and not a day passes by when I don’t miss them both, but they’re no longer suffering.

“Take a good look at your son. Do you see the red spots on his skin? Those are from blood clotting problems. His blood pressure is falling, and he is practically inflicted with hypothermia, his shock and decreased body temperature is so great. He has no idea what is happening to him, but his body is almost shutting down. The best thing you can do for him is to just spend his last hours with him, as a family. Not all of us are so lucky.”

“I’m sorry, but,” I took in a shaky breath, trying to compose myself. But how could I when my son was dying before my eyes? “Why can’t we just change him into a full vampire? Then he won’t die. Right?”

“You certainly are a human,” he mumbled. “Even Darius could answer that question. He grew up with a doctor for a father. Ask him. I would love to play twenty questions with you, but you’re reminding me of my daughter, and it’s killing me. Leave when you may, but make sure the other doctors do not see you. They will not allow you to leave, for they do not understand.”

I turned my teary eyes to Darius, who was taking the news just as well as I was. I understood that he was as miserable as I was, but there was something else I was thinking about. Our baby still had some life in him, and we were wasting it.

“Dray,” I choked, grabbing his hand and pulling him to our wheezing son as he coughed up blood. “I want to go home.”

“I don’t want to lose him, too, Gracie!” he told me, yanking his hand out of mine. “I lost my mother and father; I lost Anne; I lost my daughter; I lost you; and now I’m losing my son? How is this fair? It’s not! It’s just not!”

“Darius, don’t,” I begged, trying to stop crying. One of us had to be strong. “We’ve both been through a lot, but let’s just go home and enjoy the time we have with him. And just for the record, you didn’t lose me, so let’s go and spend the day with Kai, okay?”

“How can you be so calm about this? After all we were put through, you can just say goodbye to him so easily?” he snapped, lashing out and catching my wrist. “I don’t know about you, but I love him!”

I wiped my eyes, chewing on my lip. “How can you even say that?” I demanded, misery and anger conflicting in my head. “He’s my son! How can you even think that I don’t love him?” I shook my head, glaring at him. “I don’t know about you, but I want to spend his last hours with him, as a family. If you don’t, then you can stay here and mope all you want. But I’m taking him home. If you don’t want to be his father when he needs you the most...” I jerked my wrist out of his grasp and picked up my son, kissing his hot forehead and setting him on my hip. “That’s your decision.”

I turned my back to him, walking to the window and opening it with my free hand. Just as I was about to step out, Darius caught my hand and pulled me back to him. He leaned down and kissed Kai’s forehead before kissing me gently.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking at the white floor. “I’ve just… Nothing’s been going right for me lately, and this is just the last straw. What reason have I got to live now?—let alone live forever!”

I sighed, hugging Kai closer. “I can think of plenty of reasons, and they’re waiting for us at home with your sister. We have plenty of time to worry about you, but right now I want to focus on Kai. We can talk later, okay? I just want to go home.”

“Where’s home?” he mumbled, releasing me and gently pushing me towards the window.

“Dray, I think you know.”

He smiled painfully. “I love you.”

I nodded. “That’s another thing we’ll talk about later.”