Trembling With the Strings

It Hurts, Doesn't It?

I nodded softly, refusing to let go of him. I was afraid that, if I did, he might leave me all alone. And I didn’t want to be alone.

“You do realize what you’re saying, don’t you?” he asked, his voice hardly audible.

“As long as we’re thinking the same thing, yes. You’re the only guy I’ve ever loved, and I just let that go so willingly. But I don’t know what I was thinking…” I paused to look up at him, and he was staring down at me through uncertain eyes. “I love you.”

“Gracie,” he groaned suddenly, collapsing on the couch and watching me through tired eyes. “My heart can only take so much. If you left me again…I don’t know if I could make it through that. You have to understand that.”

“I love you,” I mumbled again, sitting down beside him and resting my head on his shoulder. I felt his arm wrap hesitantly around my shoulder, and I sighed inwardly. “I don’t know if it will mean anything, but I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

“How long?” he murmured, kissing me gently.

“Ever since I gave back the ring.”

He was silent, so I looked up at him. He was smiling so softly that his expression almost looked neutral, and his free hand was wrapped around his ring-necklace. I don’t think he noticed my gaze, but he did eventually glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

“God, could you be any more perfect?” he whispered, brushing a loose lock of hair behind my ear.

I grinned and shrugged nonchalantly, giggling lightly. “Well, I think I have you to thank for how amazing I am,” I teased, tapping his nose.

He caught my hand the second before I could taunt him, and he smiled, turning my hand over and placing a gentle kiss in my palm. I opened my mouth to speak, but he pulled away and stood up suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, startled at the sudden action. He moved much faster than I could comprehend, but I don’t think he even noticed when he moved faster than the speed of light.

“Gracie, it’s impossible to think straight when you’re around.” I gasped when he suddenly vanished and reappeared in front of the stairs. “And I am able to—without a thought—make you so uncertain about yourself.” I blinked, and he was at the top of the stairs, leaning over the railing from the second floor. “If you’re sure that you want to marry me, then I will certainly not stand in the way. But if you have any doubts, think them through before coming back to me.”

And he was gone just like that. I sighed and slouched in my seat, chewing on my lip. It was true that I had spoken most of those words without thinking, but I knew they were true. But every word he had said was true, too. One word from his lips did make me so unsure; we can never think straight when we’re around each other; it would definitely cause irreversible damage to him if the marriage didn’t work out.

But I wanted it to work out. I knew that I would never stop loving him, because even after I had left I still had thought about him nonstop.

I took in a deep breath and pushed myself to my feet, carefully making my way to the stairs. I walked up them slowly and carefully, trying to make as little sounds as possible. I didn’t know what Dray was up to, and that made me so unimaginably anxious. The long journey to the second floor allowed me to realize something.

I was going to him, just like he had said I would.

He knew me too well, maybe even more than I knew myself. But that would not make me turn around. I had to swallow my pride eventually, and getting Dray back seemed like a good reason to stop with the arrogance.

Seconds turned into minutes, and I was still standing at the door. I did not know what to expect, and I was trying desperately to make myself knock on the bedroom door. My hand was lingering on the doorknob, and I finally took in a deep breath and turned it gently.

And then I groaned. He wasn’t even in there! I walked farther into the room, sighing and allowing my heart to stop racing. The bed was neatly made, and there was no sign that Dray had been in there since earlier this morning. I was relieved until I realized that his absence meant I had to go through that nerve-wracking process all over again. I turned around quickly, heading back for the door.

It opened by itself in a movement so quick that it was a blur. All of a sudden, I was pulled into his arms and swept off of my feet.

“Oh, my God, you scared me!” I cried into his chest, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he told me, laughing softly. “I didn’t mean to. I was being spontaneous.”

I grumbled nonsense before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling back a little as he carried me farther into the room. He caught my gaze, but he wasn’t smiling like I was. He looked like something else was on his mind, and I couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t wearing the ring anymore. I didn’t know how to take that.

“I love you,” I told him quietly as he put me on my feet. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and he did the same.

He smiled slightly, kissing me gently. “I know.”

And my face fell. Why didn’t he say it back? I forced a pathetic excuse for a smile and glanced over to the door, knowing that in a few seconds I would find myself walking through it with a broken heart.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” he asked quietly. I glanced over to him, all composure leaving me in an instant. “You don’t know if I love you or not, and that can eat a person alive.” He looked at me through sad eyes. “I’ve only done that once to you, but do you have any idea how many times you didn’t return my love? I may be a man, but I still have a heart that can break. And whenever you pull away from me… Now you know how much it hurts.”

“Why do you want to hurt me?” I asked, looking away from him.

“I’m sorry. It just kind of slipped out. Do you have any idea how much of a hold you have over me?” I shook my head, watching my feet. “Well, if you had said to bite Kai, I would have without a second thought. Even knowing that I would die, I would have done it. I love you so much, I swear, but sometimes I just want to know that you love me, too.”

I chewed on my lip for a bit before finally building the courage to look at him. “I’m sorry,” I choked, smiling nervously. “I love you with all I have, but I would never have let you give up your life.”

“That’s all I needed to know,” he whispered, kissing me gently before pulling himself from me and heading for the door.

“Wait! Where are you going?” I asked, standing up.

He smiled. “Oh, I suppose now is as good a time as any.”

I stood motionless as he strode up to me, taking my hand in his.

“Baby, I love you so much, and I never stopped thinking about you while you were gone—not for one second. I can’t imagine my life without you, so…” I watched with teary eyes as he swooped down on one knee. “I really want to make it work this time, so will you marry me?”

I struggled to form words, but I finally choked out a, “Yes,” and kneeled down to kiss him as he slipped the ring onto my finger. I couldn’t stop smiling, it just felt so right to have that ring on my finger again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, honey.” He pulled himself to his feet and helped me up, kissing me chastely. “How about we go show Kai?”

I smiled, kissing his cheek and grabbing his hand. “How did the boys take it?”

“How did you expect them to take it?” He sighed. “Let’s just go spend the rest of our time with him, like you said. I’m sure it’ll mean a lot to Kai to see that we fixed things.”

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest when his arms wrapped around my waist.

“Mrs. Jameson, I would love to stand here and hold you forever, but don’t you want to see our son?”

I opened my mouth to agree with him, but another sound caught my attention. There was a bloodcurdling cry from the next room over, and my heart nearly stopped. I had never heard a baby cry with such desperation and pain. The blood rushed from Darius’ face, and he pulled himself out of my arms immediately and ran out of the room. I followed him quickly, walking into Demetrius’ room to see Dray standing motionless in the doorway.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I panicked, stepping farther inside. My hand rose to my mouth involuntarily. “Oh my God.”

Kai was in Marc’s arms, but that wasn’t what terrified me. He had three sets of bite marks on his little neck, and my sons looked so guilty.

“What did you do?” I demanded, rushing up to Kai.

The instant I snatched him into my arms, the three boys collapsed to the floor. They weren’t breathing.

“Darius!” I cried, running to Marcus. “What’s happening?” I screamed, my body trembling beyond control.

Darius stood in shock before finally forcing out, “Start the car.”

“But—!”

“God dammit, Gracie! Just go fucking start the car!” he screamed, leaving no room for any more conversation. I nodded, setting Demetrius on my free hip and stumbling down the stairs.

I could not lose four sons in one night. I just couldn’t!
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I'm just terrible, aren't I? Well, it's four pages. I'll update as soon as possible, I promise :)