Trembling With the Strings

I stood quietly beside Darius as he knocked the door to his father’s study. Kai snored softly into my shoulder as I bounced him gently on my hip. Dray glanced down to me and smiled, kissing me quickly before taking my free hand and pushing open the door.

“Spare a second?” Darius asked, his voice breaking the silence of the room.

Drakken looked up with a furrowed brow, but then he smiled and pushed his papers out of the way. “Ah, you’ve finally brought the lady of the house. And you’ve brought your grandson to see me? How kind of you to finally allow me to feel like a grandfather.” There was a pause. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh,” I mouthed to Dray, a few small laughs escaping my lips. Kai yawned and stirred in his sleep, so I shut my mouth and walked farther into the room with Darius, careful to keep my movements gentle.

“There’s actually a reason we’re here,” Darius told him, releasing my hand. I watched as he moved a chair closer to me, nodding to it gently and pulling up a seat for himself. I sat down.

“I know why you’re here; Langston called me. And I have to say that I am much more intelligent than you two seem to think. I don’t know if the marriage—this time—is a charade or if you just want to keep your son alive, but I do know that, if either is the case, it will end up killing everyone in the family. Convenience is not a good basis for love. I just hope you understand that.”

I glanced beside me, and Darius was choking on words as he tried to say something—anything. I reached out and caught his hand, and he finally forced out, “I’m not a little boy anymore, Drakken. I came here to ask you for help with the three boys upstairs, but now you’re scolding me about my engagement. Can we stay on track, please?”

“You are mine to scold, Darius. I only want what is best for you—Anne and I always wanted what was best for you.”

“I can handle myself.” His teeth were clenched, and his grip on my hand was tightening to the point that I was biting my lip to keep from protesting.

“You can say that all you want, but I simply will not believe you. I know you, Darius.”

“I think I know myself!” he hissed in a softer voice, still managing to remember that his son was sleeping.

“Keep your temper in check. Your son may be sleeping, but he is not deaf. I am simply suggesting that you do not marry a woman because you think it is best for the family; marry because you love each other. I merely think that your son would not like—”

“He is my son, not yours—mine.” He took in an angry breath, pushing a hand forcefully through his hair. “I would appreciate if you did not belittle me in front of my son and my fiancée. I just want you to watch over the boys, but now I have another request: Could you not insult them at every waking moment?”

Drakken opened his mouth for a witty rebuttal, but I was absolutely tired of the arguing. His father had good intentions, but insisting that I did not love Darius was not a good intention in the least. And I was suddenly very annoyed with the entire situation. Sarcasm bit my tongue, but I didn’t fight it at all.

“You are talking as though I am not sitting right here. I don’t know why you seem to think that I don’t love him, but I can assure you that I do. I would simply love to waste my time watching you two bicker like little girls, but I am a hormonal sixteen-year-old girl, who has almost lost four of her sons. If any more stress were to be put into my pretty little head, I do believe I might begin to suffer from clinical depression. Maybe I’ll even become suicidal?” I stood up abruptly. “Drakken, it’s been lovely talking to you, but I’ve had enough. When you and your son are finished, let me know.”

I carefully rose to my seat, shaking off Dray’s offered help as I made my way for the door. It slid open graciously, and I closed it softly behind me and trudged up the stairs. Kai opened his eyes slowly, and he was glaring at me. I smiled apologetically, tapping his nose and wincing slightly when he caught my finger between his teeth.

“I’m sorry, little boy, but Mommy doesn’t like listening to big bad Darius and his father fighting just for the sake of fighting.” He spit my finger out of his mouth and turned his head away from me, as if he had condemned me. “Fine, Mister Sass. I think you need a nap!”

With much difficulty, I managed find a crib in the room on the very end of the hall. I didn’t like leaving my son alone, so I had to drag the crib into the bedroom that Marcus, Johnny and Marty were in. Kai refused to look at me, so I kissed his cheek and placed him under the blanket. He’d get over himself eventually.

I hoped.

With a sigh, I slowly made my way back to the bedroom, and I stepped into the closet. I discarded my day clothes for one of Darius’ large, white button-down shirts, which he had—for some reason—left at his father’s house, before shuffling to the bed. The television set was on, but I didn’t think much of it as I pulled the blankets over my shoulders, turning onto my side.

I had a mini panic attack, and I clutched at my heart as I begged it to stop beating so harshly. Darius waited patiently for me to calm down, scooting closer to me and wrapping his arms around me.

“You have to keep doing that?” I mumbled into his bare chest, shaking my head

I felt his chest rise and fall with his chuckles. “This is my old bedroom, Gracie. I believe I’m entitled to be in it.” He kissed me gently. “I like that shirt on you.”

“Are you being flirty?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He grinned. “I don’t think it’s so scandalous for me to wish to be near the mother of my child. I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” I told him quietly, not able to keep a small smile from forming on my lips. My cheeks started burning, and I tried to hide my face in his chest, but he pulled back. He caught my chin gently.

“Don’t hide from me, Gracie. It’s cute.”

I stumbled to find words, but he could scramble my thoughts without even realizing it. It didn’t really matter, though, because he suddenly caressed my lips with his. But he pulled back so quickly. I reached out and caught his hand, watching him with confused eyes.

“Gracie, I know that you can’t think straight when I’m around,” he informed me, smiling as he stroked my cheek softly. “But I love it. Do you have any idea how cute you are when you’re trying to think of the perfect thing to say, but you got nothing?” I made a face. “I know kids these days throw ‘I love you’ around like there’s no tomorrow, but I promise you that it’s not just words to me. When Drakken insisted that I asked you to marry me because I wanted something of convenience, well, I wanted to deck that man in the face! I could never love anyone as much as I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know that, but let him think what he wants. We know that he’s wrong, so don’t fight with him over it—it makes him seem like he’s right.” I intertwined our fingers, kissing him gently. “I like that you’re being all lovey-dovey, Dray, but…” I freed one of my hands and placed it on his chest, looking into his eyes as I drew small circles with my finger. “I love you.”

Confusion was obvious in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile when that confusion slowly changed to realization and, then, to shock. He caught my hand and kissed it softly. “Forgive me if I’m being promiscuous, but do you mean…?”

I smirked. “What if I do? I mean, I know you said that you didn’t need it or anything…”

“But it’d be very, very nice,” he interjected, nodding furiously. “It’s been so long, baby.”

“Too long,” I whispered in his ear.