Trembling With the Strings

“Darius?” I called, my body trembling as everyone stared at me with silent shock. I hugged my body tightly. “Darius!” I lifted the skirt of my dress and chased after him, closing the large doors behind me.

“Dray?” I called softly, glancing around the hallway. He wasn’t there, but the door to his father’s study was slightly ajar.

I opened the door slowly, and certainly enough he was sitting behind the desk, his face thrown into his hands. His shoulders shook violently. I closed the door behind me.

“Darius, I love you.”

He glanced up at me through blood-red eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his fangs slightly more visible than usual. “I just… I can’t.”

“What’s wrong? I told you that I want this, Dray. I want to be with you forever, I swear.”

“It’s not that!” he hissed, angrily shoving a pile of his father’s papers onto the floor. I cringed slightly, and he relaxed visibly. “I’m sorry. Father always said I have problems managing my emotions, but I never had any reason to care about losing control. So what if I killed someone? Like it mattered to me. So what? It would be their fault for getting too close to me.” He stood up suddenly, and I gasped when he appeared in front of me and pulled me close. “But then I met you, and everything changed. If I lost control, I risked losing you, and I did. If I killed someone, you would be terrified of me, and you were.”

“Dray, that’s in the past. We’re in the present, and in this time frame I love you.” I tried to kiss him, but he leaned back.

“Please, Gracie. Let me explain. I had every intention of biting you. But I had a thought: what if I messed up? I could have killed you! What if I couldn’t pull away? Again I would have killed you! How would I live with myself if I lost control over my bloodlust? Everything is different now, Gracie. I have to be careful, and I’ve never known control in my entire life! My father tried to teach me, but eighteen years later he still failed. How can I expect to teach myself what my father could not?”

“Because I trust you,” I whispered, begging him to come to his senses, but he just wouldn’t.

“Trust!” he scoffed, storming away from me and sitting in his father’s chair. “Trust will get you killed! And yet you don’t care. Why don’t you care?”

“Because I love you.”

“Love,” he muttered, glancing up at me as he pressed the tips of his fingers together as if contemplating. “Love can break your heart.”

“But it didn’t.”

“But it did!” he spat, rising to his feet. I forced myself to remain calm when he towered above me, glaring down at me like he used to do to the people that came between us. “I crushed you, Gracie. I twisted you into what I wanted you to be. But you got away. And yet, you still came back to me. Why?”

“Because I still love you.”

“I still love you,” he mumbled, smiling slightly. “And I always will, I promise. But how can we move forward if I’m afraid to?”

I caught his hand quickly before I could think better of it. “You don’t have to do anything alone ever again, Dray. I told you I’ll never leave your side. That’s why I’m here now even though you might think I have a death wish for doing so.”

“Technically you do.”

“Technically, but since when is love technical?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry I ran off like that. You were probably so mortified.”

“It was a little embarrassing, but I was more scared. I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

“That will never happen.” He took in a deep breath. “I suppose we’ve kept them waiting long enough. You get back to that altar and let me finish marrying you.”

“Yeah, because I’m the one with cold feet,” I muttered, lifting my skirt slightly and hurrying back into the room full of waiting people. “Sorry about that, everybody,” I called loudly as I walked towards the altar.

“I’m just a big baby,” Darius grumbled, walking in after me and smiling when he caught my eye. I grinned as he lifted me off my feet and twirled me quickly.

“Darius, what were you thinking?” Marcy hissed, pulling him aside and slapping him across the face. My jaw dropped.

Darius rubbed his cheek, his mouth gaping. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Yes, you did!” she growled, throwing her fists to her sides. “Gracie, is he forgiven?” I nodded carefully, fearing the day I got on her bad side. “Fine.”

“Shall we pick up where we left off?” the poor priest asked, shifting from foot to foot rather awkwardly.

I nodded, but Darius cut me off. “Actually, no.”

“What?” I whispered, a little angry. “We talked about this!”

“No, we didn’t.” He turned to the man. “I cannot go through with this right now. I’ll bite her when we are alone, so I can care for her. I don’t want to make this a spectacle for the world even if it is a tradition.”

“Oh… Then I suppose I’m done?” Dray nodded.

“There had better be a method to your madness,” I told him, allowing him to pull me into his arms.

He kissed me gently. “I promise there is. It’s going to hurt, Gracie; I’m not going to lie to you. Later tonight, when we are alone, I’ll do it, but not until then. I think it’s a rather private affair, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing such an intimate moment with you with my entire family. You may not consider it a personal thing, but I do, and I want it to be perfect for you. Maybe then I can feel less guilty about putting you through so much pain.”

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Okay. I’m trusting you.”