Trembling With the Strings

“Oh my God,” I breathed, dropping the book to the floor, unable to bring myself to hold it any longer.

He had damned his own cousin… That had to have eaten him alive. Surely that had taken any self-respect he’d had left. So he’d already given up on being even a relatively good person. Surely this explained why he was so cold. He thought he’d already lost any hope of people liking him, so what was the point?

I didn’t know how to feel. He was a total jackass most of the time, but he had reason to be. But, then again, I’d had a horrid upbringing as well yet I’d turned out fine. But I suppose killing someone changes things.

But he killed so many people in the safety of his own home. How could he no longer feel remorse? Surely he’d seen the terror in little Bryce’s eyes, so how could he stand to look in the terrified eyes of a girl no older than Bryce had been? There was no way someone could be so numb.

Just how was I supposed to approach Darius now? I was standing outside Marty’s door, asking myself that simple question over and over again. I finally worked up the courage to ease the door open. Marty was shrieking at Darius, exclaiming, “Tall! Tall!” as he tried to jump up and be as tall as Dray. I smiled softly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind me. Dray looked over to me, laughing and smiling. But his face fell.

“You’re not happy with me,” he whispered so softly I could hardly hear him. I bit my lip.

“I’m nervous,” I admitted, taking in a sharp breath as he appeared right in front of me. He reached out and touched my face so gently.

“You have good reason to be. I’ve murdered so many innocent children. Who’s to say I won’t do it again: to you?” His breath sent chills down my spine, but I forced myself to stay calm. “Or even to your brothers. I could kill every last one of them in less than a second. I’d just need a cunning plan to get them all together, and then it would only be a matter of time. It’s like a game to me, Gracie,” he admitted softly, pulling me to him suddenly. “A deadly, addictive game that I play every day. And I love it.”

“Darius, you’re scaring me!” I whispered, trying not to cry. Marty was watching us through curious eyes, staying away from us nonetheless. Even he knew that I wasn’t so safe. Dray had this crazed look in his eyes. But he looked desperate at the same time. I couldn’t just leave him.

“That’s good! Now you know what a fucking no-good monster I am. You should be jerking yourself from me now, kicking dirt in my face, and begging for your little God to save your pathetic little existence before I crush it! It would be easy enough. I know your fears, your goals and, more importantly, what makes you tick. I know you too well, and I could kill you so very easily. You shouldn’t get so close to your predators, Gracie,” he breathed, his lips on the hollow of my throat. “Naivety kills you easily.”

I hesitantly reached my arms up to wrap them around his neck, watching him through teary eyes. He pulled back, his eyes begging me to let go of him. I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

“But I trust you,” I whispered, kissing his cheek softly. He pushed me off suddenly, glaring at me.

“Do you have a death wish?” he hissed in my face, backing away from me. I shook my head. “Then are you stupid? I’ll only let you down. Tell me what I have to show other than the promises I never kept. You must be mentally retarded.”

“I never got the best grades.” I smiled nervously, forcing myself to step closer to him. He kept backing away until his back hit the wall.

“Stop it!” he growled, throwing a snarl into his voice for my benefit. Marty glanced at me, and I nodded—a silent beg for him to leave. He took my plea and soon it was only Darius and I.

“What if I don’t?” I whispered, closing the small space between us. He stood on his tiptoes and turned his head away from me.

“Then you’re going to die! That’s what. What are you trying to prove?”

“That I know you won’t harm me. Darius, I love you,” I murmured, smiling softly. He glanced down at me, disbelief on his face. He started dropping his guard.

“But I’m a revolting, bloodsucking leech,” he told me. Despite his words, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me, watching to see if I was going to wriggle out of his grasp.

“No, you’re Dray. We all make mistakes. But Bryce is okay.” I stood on my tiptoes as he fell flatfooted. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I carefully leaned closer to him. If he really wanted to he could shove me away.

“Would you still feel that way if I had bitten someone you love?”

“You won’t do it ever again. You won’t. I know it.”

He kissed me suddenly, urgently. His breathing was labored and tears broke free from his eyes as he pulled me even closer, begging me not to go. I didn’t know where exactly I could have gone, but I promised I wouldn’t. And I meant it.

People can change. They just need to know that someone believes they can. And I couldn‘t have believed in him any more than I already did.